DOI Heft:
January 18, 1862
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16869#0038
30
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 18, 1862.
THE LESSON.
Disgusted Instructor of Plungers. “Thebe you go again! Sticking out your Toes like a Hin’fantrv Hadjutant/’
THE TWO CASES.
“ Dear Mr. Punch,
“I wish that you would use your influence with the daily
newspapers, and ask them not to go on printing those awfully long re-
ports of the Two Trials. Day after day come in parallel (is that the
right word?) columns, reports upon reports of the disagreeable nonsense,
until one is perfectly confused and bewildered; and when I send away
my paper, I really do not know whether Mr. Windham is trying to
prove that the Bishop op Salisbury is cracked, or the Reverend
Rowland Williams wants to lock up Sir Hugh Cairns, or Mr.
Samuel Warren is not fit to have the spending of Ten Thousand
a Year. I don’t want to know anything about either case; but when
they both come together, it is downright aggravating. I subjoin the
report of the united case as it is at present pestering my memory, and
beg that you will exert yourself to stop what is really dazing me dizzy.
“ Tours most affectionately,
“Haymarket Theatre.” “Dundreary.”
“THE WINDHAM-WILLIAMS CASE.
“ This is the Office of the Master into which people will keep coming
and promoting him to be something else, if he will come out of the
Arches under Waterloo Bridge and speak to the Bishop of Salisbury
about driving railway-engines through the thirty-nine Articles. The
case is very objectionable, and Mr. Williams is not Williams of
Kars, though General Windham fought with the Russians. So long
as a clergyman takes the money of the Church, he has no business to
black his face and sing Old Boh Ridley, and neither Ridley nor Lati-
mer would approve his conduct, but would refer him to Burnet. Also
he ought not to laugh in a foolish manner, like a natural, which is
preaching in a non-natural sense, and if he goes to a Review, whether
Prussian or not, he ought to respect the bishop’s Charges. The Council
of Nice had nothing to do with it any more than Louis Napoleon, in
fact there is nothing nice in the business, and there is no proof that if
he was an Eton boy he was a drunken man. Anybody may eat eggs,
and if be eats nineteen, the Church does not object to fast-days, and
St. Cyprian lays down no rules as to the company he is to keep,
but Llewellyn is a Welsh name and so is Williams, though Mr.
Eitzjames may not be the knight of Snowdon. There is nothing in
the Articles to prevent a clergyman giving thirty-nine articles of
jewellery to his wife, if he can pay for them, though it might be held
evidence of not having his brain set clear, and Lord Claude Hamilton
was quite right in telling him to go to bed, and might as well set the
example the next time he himself is tempted to speak in the House.
There is no proof that Dr. Williams ever rode in the guard’s van,
though he is in the van of theological reformers, and, if ne likes the
African serenaders, was not St. Origen born in Africa? As for the Kirk of
Scotland, that had nothing to do with it, and if he bought cigars at
Kirk’s they were very good ones, and it is not excess to smoke a dozen
a day if he takes plenty of exercise and the beadle does not smell
tobacco, but he ought not to shout and send Valentines, though St.
Valentine is in the Anglican list of saints. On the whole, therefore.
Dr. Lushington ought to declare General Windham duly elected
and Sir George Armytage ought to depose the Bishop of Salisburv
and everybody pay his own costs, with liberty to speak to the prosecutor
and turn it into a special verdict without prejudice to the Asylum for
Idiots or the Court of Arches.”
French Polish.
The Emperor, who had been thought to have designs of fighting
Switzerland, is said to have used on New Year’s Day some particularly
civil and re-assuring words to the Swiss representative, Dr. Kern.
They might have been re-assuring, but we are blest if they were very
civil. His Majesty, who is a great Shakespearian, simply smiled, and
quoted Macduff—
“ I cannot strike at wretched Kernes.”
Brutus Bull to the Blacks.—“ Not that I love Caesar less, but
that 1 love England more ” —eh, you see dat, darkey ?
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 18, 1862.
THE LESSON.
Disgusted Instructor of Plungers. “Thebe you go again! Sticking out your Toes like a Hin’fantrv Hadjutant/’
THE TWO CASES.
“ Dear Mr. Punch,
“I wish that you would use your influence with the daily
newspapers, and ask them not to go on printing those awfully long re-
ports of the Two Trials. Day after day come in parallel (is that the
right word?) columns, reports upon reports of the disagreeable nonsense,
until one is perfectly confused and bewildered; and when I send away
my paper, I really do not know whether Mr. Windham is trying to
prove that the Bishop op Salisbury is cracked, or the Reverend
Rowland Williams wants to lock up Sir Hugh Cairns, or Mr.
Samuel Warren is not fit to have the spending of Ten Thousand
a Year. I don’t want to know anything about either case; but when
they both come together, it is downright aggravating. I subjoin the
report of the united case as it is at present pestering my memory, and
beg that you will exert yourself to stop what is really dazing me dizzy.
“ Tours most affectionately,
“Haymarket Theatre.” “Dundreary.”
“THE WINDHAM-WILLIAMS CASE.
“ This is the Office of the Master into which people will keep coming
and promoting him to be something else, if he will come out of the
Arches under Waterloo Bridge and speak to the Bishop of Salisbury
about driving railway-engines through the thirty-nine Articles. The
case is very objectionable, and Mr. Williams is not Williams of
Kars, though General Windham fought with the Russians. So long
as a clergyman takes the money of the Church, he has no business to
black his face and sing Old Boh Ridley, and neither Ridley nor Lati-
mer would approve his conduct, but would refer him to Burnet. Also
he ought not to laugh in a foolish manner, like a natural, which is
preaching in a non-natural sense, and if he goes to a Review, whether
Prussian or not, he ought to respect the bishop’s Charges. The Council
of Nice had nothing to do with it any more than Louis Napoleon, in
fact there is nothing nice in the business, and there is no proof that if
he was an Eton boy he was a drunken man. Anybody may eat eggs,
and if be eats nineteen, the Church does not object to fast-days, and
St. Cyprian lays down no rules as to the company he is to keep,
but Llewellyn is a Welsh name and so is Williams, though Mr.
Eitzjames may not be the knight of Snowdon. There is nothing in
the Articles to prevent a clergyman giving thirty-nine articles of
jewellery to his wife, if he can pay for them, though it might be held
evidence of not having his brain set clear, and Lord Claude Hamilton
was quite right in telling him to go to bed, and might as well set the
example the next time he himself is tempted to speak in the House.
There is no proof that Dr. Williams ever rode in the guard’s van,
though he is in the van of theological reformers, and, if ne likes the
African serenaders, was not St. Origen born in Africa? As for the Kirk of
Scotland, that had nothing to do with it, and if he bought cigars at
Kirk’s they were very good ones, and it is not excess to smoke a dozen
a day if he takes plenty of exercise and the beadle does not smell
tobacco, but he ought not to shout and send Valentines, though St.
Valentine is in the Anglican list of saints. On the whole, therefore.
Dr. Lushington ought to declare General Windham duly elected
and Sir George Armytage ought to depose the Bishop of Salisburv
and everybody pay his own costs, with liberty to speak to the prosecutor
and turn it into a special verdict without prejudice to the Asylum for
Idiots or the Court of Arches.”
French Polish.
The Emperor, who had been thought to have designs of fighting
Switzerland, is said to have used on New Year’s Day some particularly
civil and re-assuring words to the Swiss representative, Dr. Kern.
They might have been re-assuring, but we are blest if they were very
civil. His Majesty, who is a great Shakespearian, simply smiled, and
quoted Macduff—
“ I cannot strike at wretched Kernes.”
Brutus Bull to the Blacks.—“ Not that I love Caesar less, but
that 1 love England more ” —eh, you see dat, darkey ?