Punch (42.1862)

54

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

| February 8, 1862.


THE ARSENIC WALTZ.

The hew Dance of Death. (Dedicated to the Green Wreath and Dress-Mongers.)

“ PULLING TIP IN TIME.”

There was a little man,

And he had a little gun,

And he spent too much on powder and on lead, lead, lead:

And the constable so l'ar
Outran for ships of war,

And soldiers, that quite dry his purse he bled, bled, bled.

Then his neighbours all began
To abuse this little man.

For a nuisance and a mischief and a pest, pest, pest;

And his tenants they all swore
They would stand the screw no more,

And “ L’Empire <fest la paye ” was aught but jest, jest, jest.

Till at last this little man,

Not a bit too soon, began

His in-comings and out-goings to o’erhaul, haul, haul;

And this truth he did perceive,

Those who spend ere they receive,

Will wind up with no revenue at all, all, all.

Then he summoned Monsieur Fould,

An Israelite well schooled

In Debtor and in Creditor accounts, ’counts, ’counts;

And lie said, “ Pray let me know
Exactly what I owe;

1 ’m alraid to something heavyish it amounts, ’mounts, ’mounts ? ”

Monsieur Fould went through his books,

With extremely serious looks,

And a long face at the balance-sheet did pun, pull, pull;

“Forty millions, Sir,” said he,

“As far as I can see.

Is the sum to your discredit, stated full, full, full.

“ There’s the funded debt beside,

But o’er that a man can tide,

(As witness Mr. Bull, across the way, way, way);

But you really ought to get
Rid of all this floating debt,

And pull up, if you ever mean to pay, pay, pay.”

“ Oh, dear, it costs a wrench,

One’s expenses to retrench! ”

The little man exclaimed with a tear, tear, tear:

“ But if I must, I must;

So I ’ll e’en down with the dust,

Which in Europe I’ve kicked up this many a year, year, year.

“ I ’ll give up my drums and noise,

And my military toys,

I ’ll do with fewer soldiers, ships and guns, guns, guns ;

And I ’ll lay a nice new tax
On my loving subjects’ backs,

And ’twixt two screws, up and down, pay off my duns, duns, duns*

“Wars and war-intrigues I ’ll cease,

Take to trade and arts of Peace,

Be a moral, mild and quiet little man, man, man ;

Till even Mr. Bull,

Gives me confidence, as full

As before “ Le. Vol de V Aigle ” first began, ’gan, ’gun.”

Latest from Washington.

BY OUR CLAIRVOYANT CORRESPONDENT.

Notice of Motion, April the First.—In the House of Representatives
Mr. Lovejaw, otherwise Lovejoy, the honourable representative oi
Rowdydom, to move:—That Great Britain be blotted out ot the map
of Europe, and that the respected Editor ot the Few York Herald he
forthwith commissioned to supply the ink.