DOI issue:
March 1, 1862
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16869#0096
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [March i, 1862.
“ SILENCE IS GOLDEN.” -Chinese Proverb
Two Italian boys, Boltarelli and Tusa, were brought
up at _ Westminster the other day charged with begging.
One of them carried an accordion, the other a hurdygurdy;
but neither instrument would play. The worthy Magistrate
committed one boy for seven days, and remanded the other.
No doubt they deserved to be punished for begging,
but really, the Magistrate might have considered, in miti-
gation of punishment, the extenuating circumstance that
the instruments of torture they carried were dummies—
that they wouldn’t “play”—to use the euphemism of the
reporter—though you might as well apply the word “play”
to the rack or the “ Scavenger’s Daughter.” Much as we
object to beggars, we should be content to compound for
any amount of Italian cadgers, provided they were confined
to their organs of speech, and spared us the grinding tyranny
of those other organs they use so mercilessly.
It is the duty of the Magistrates, we maintain, in all cases
in which these Italian vagrants are brought up, to let it
be clearly understood that the gist of their offence lies less
in their plying for alms, than in their doing so by means
which cause acute suffering to busy or sensitive brains. It
would be of useful example, we venture to submit, if the
magistracy were to show marked lenity to all Italians
begging with dumb organs, as Boltarelli and Tusa with
their voiceless accordion and hurdygurdy. We should be
inclined to put such a case very much on a par with that
of a highwayman robbing with an unloaded pistol, or a
“cracksman” going about his deeds of darkness with an
unleaded life-preserver.
The Future of Yankeedom.
Earl Bussell remarked some time ago that the Northern
States were contending for Empire. They may ultimately
realise Empire in a sense which they do not yet contemplate.
Some of us will perhaps live to see an Emperor of the
Yankees. Shouldn’t his name be Bogus the Eirst ?
“Hullo, Why it’s—no—yes—so it is, I declare, the Monday and Wednesday Organ.—
The fellow’s inside Spending his unhallowed gains in Beer. Shall I accidentally upset
it, and terminate its existence ? Damage it at any rate. Here goes ! ”
a RON COMP OPE.
The Pope keeps answering every reasonable requisition
with Non possumus. Would not his Holiness with greater
[Policeman comes round the corner, and the opportunity is lost for ever. ; correctness reply. Non compotes sumus—mentis understood ?
AN INFANTS WINE BILL.
A Comic action came on the other day in the Court of Common
Pleas. This was Bose and Another v. Hoop, brought to recover
£20111s. 6d., a balance of £776 for wines and spirits supplied between
the 15th July, 1859, and the 21st June, 1861, by the plaintiffs, liquor-
merchants in Oxford Street, to the defendant, a young man who has
lately come into property. Mr. Serjeant Parry and Mr. Wood
appeared for the plaintiffs, whose interests may be represented as it
were in the Wood, though Parry, one would think, might have been
more appropriately retained for the defence. The defendant’s counsel
were Mr. Huddleston and Garth, of whom it may be sufficient to
remark, that if the former of those gentlemen, instead of being Hud-
dleston, had been Euddleston, Mr. Garth would have had a senior
nominally better qualified to lead him in defending an action for a
heavy tipple-bill.
According to the report of this interesting case:—
“ A good deal of discussion took place between counsel, and it was stated that
there was a plea of infancy upon the record, and therefore the question whether
this quantity of wine was necessary for an infant might arise. ”
Mr. Justice Byles directed this question to be referred. Of course.
No British Judge would venture hastily to pronounce what quantity of
wine might be necessary for an infant. If the child is the father of the
man, the quantity of wine which the child should drink must bear
some relation to that which the man will be able to stand. That man,
for instance, may be a Judge. In that case he will walk steady and
keep a clear head with twice as much liquor inside of him as would
make an ordinary person drunk and incapable. The infant destined
to the ermine will accordingly be able to suck in a considerably greater
allowance of wine than most other infants, and remain sober as a Judge.
There is no knowing what infants will turn out, and therefore no
saying exactly how much drink may be necessary for any particular
one. The Band of Hope would decide that no amount of wine is
necessary for any infant; but whilst this must be regarded as a wild
opinion, moderate men will admit that £776 worth of intoxicating
fluid in two years is rather too much for any infant but an infanl
Bacchus.
Home and Dahomey.
The King of Dahomey has been invited by the British Govern-
ment 1 o discontinue his “ grand custom ” of annually celebrating
human sacrifices. His Majesty declines to accede to the demands of
modern progress and civilisation. He will no more consent to give up
his “ grand custom” than the Pope will agree to resign his claim to
govern a people who disowns him. The King of Dahomey makes the
immolation of his subjects a matter of religion, and bis answer to the
envoys who have besought him to give it up amounts to Non possumus.
A NEW STAMP ACT.
The Bill to amend the law relating to the fraudulent marking of
merchandise should contain a clause providing that the employer of a
false trade-mark should himself be marked with a true brand, as
deserters are with the letter D, and bear about him the indelible impres-
sion of a broad B.
HEIGIIO! E-ACCHE!
Considering (as L. N. would say) that the greatest and grandest
fuss at the International Exhibition has been made about the Drinks
for the public, it is not surprising that the first contribution should be
from Liberia, i. e., in honour of Bacchus—alias Liber.
[Cox, M.P., called and saw this in type, and we had so much trouble
in making him understand that Bacchus was called Liber d liberando,
and that Liberia had a similar origin, that we had a good mind not to
print the above, only the paragraph just fits this corner of the page.
He wanted us to print it Li^rier, and put the joke in italics.]
“ SILENCE IS GOLDEN.” -Chinese Proverb
Two Italian boys, Boltarelli and Tusa, were brought
up at _ Westminster the other day charged with begging.
One of them carried an accordion, the other a hurdygurdy;
but neither instrument would play. The worthy Magistrate
committed one boy for seven days, and remanded the other.
No doubt they deserved to be punished for begging,
but really, the Magistrate might have considered, in miti-
gation of punishment, the extenuating circumstance that
the instruments of torture they carried were dummies—
that they wouldn’t “play”—to use the euphemism of the
reporter—though you might as well apply the word “play”
to the rack or the “ Scavenger’s Daughter.” Much as we
object to beggars, we should be content to compound for
any amount of Italian cadgers, provided they were confined
to their organs of speech, and spared us the grinding tyranny
of those other organs they use so mercilessly.
It is the duty of the Magistrates, we maintain, in all cases
in which these Italian vagrants are brought up, to let it
be clearly understood that the gist of their offence lies less
in their plying for alms, than in their doing so by means
which cause acute suffering to busy or sensitive brains. It
would be of useful example, we venture to submit, if the
magistracy were to show marked lenity to all Italians
begging with dumb organs, as Boltarelli and Tusa with
their voiceless accordion and hurdygurdy. We should be
inclined to put such a case very much on a par with that
of a highwayman robbing with an unloaded pistol, or a
“cracksman” going about his deeds of darkness with an
unleaded life-preserver.
The Future of Yankeedom.
Earl Bussell remarked some time ago that the Northern
States were contending for Empire. They may ultimately
realise Empire in a sense which they do not yet contemplate.
Some of us will perhaps live to see an Emperor of the
Yankees. Shouldn’t his name be Bogus the Eirst ?
“Hullo, Why it’s—no—yes—so it is, I declare, the Monday and Wednesday Organ.—
The fellow’s inside Spending his unhallowed gains in Beer. Shall I accidentally upset
it, and terminate its existence ? Damage it at any rate. Here goes ! ”
a RON COMP OPE.
The Pope keeps answering every reasonable requisition
with Non possumus. Would not his Holiness with greater
[Policeman comes round the corner, and the opportunity is lost for ever. ; correctness reply. Non compotes sumus—mentis understood ?
AN INFANTS WINE BILL.
A Comic action came on the other day in the Court of Common
Pleas. This was Bose and Another v. Hoop, brought to recover
£20111s. 6d., a balance of £776 for wines and spirits supplied between
the 15th July, 1859, and the 21st June, 1861, by the plaintiffs, liquor-
merchants in Oxford Street, to the defendant, a young man who has
lately come into property. Mr. Serjeant Parry and Mr. Wood
appeared for the plaintiffs, whose interests may be represented as it
were in the Wood, though Parry, one would think, might have been
more appropriately retained for the defence. The defendant’s counsel
were Mr. Huddleston and Garth, of whom it may be sufficient to
remark, that if the former of those gentlemen, instead of being Hud-
dleston, had been Euddleston, Mr. Garth would have had a senior
nominally better qualified to lead him in defending an action for a
heavy tipple-bill.
According to the report of this interesting case:—
“ A good deal of discussion took place between counsel, and it was stated that
there was a plea of infancy upon the record, and therefore the question whether
this quantity of wine was necessary for an infant might arise. ”
Mr. Justice Byles directed this question to be referred. Of course.
No British Judge would venture hastily to pronounce what quantity of
wine might be necessary for an infant. If the child is the father of the
man, the quantity of wine which the child should drink must bear
some relation to that which the man will be able to stand. That man,
for instance, may be a Judge. In that case he will walk steady and
keep a clear head with twice as much liquor inside of him as would
make an ordinary person drunk and incapable. The infant destined
to the ermine will accordingly be able to suck in a considerably greater
allowance of wine than most other infants, and remain sober as a Judge.
There is no knowing what infants will turn out, and therefore no
saying exactly how much drink may be necessary for any particular
one. The Band of Hope would decide that no amount of wine is
necessary for any infant; but whilst this must be regarded as a wild
opinion, moderate men will admit that £776 worth of intoxicating
fluid in two years is rather too much for any infant but an infanl
Bacchus.
Home and Dahomey.
The King of Dahomey has been invited by the British Govern-
ment 1 o discontinue his “ grand custom ” of annually celebrating
human sacrifices. His Majesty declines to accede to the demands of
modern progress and civilisation. He will no more consent to give up
his “ grand custom” than the Pope will agree to resign his claim to
govern a people who disowns him. The King of Dahomey makes the
immolation of his subjects a matter of religion, and bis answer to the
envoys who have besought him to give it up amounts to Non possumus.
A NEW STAMP ACT.
The Bill to amend the law relating to the fraudulent marking of
merchandise should contain a clause providing that the employer of a
false trade-mark should himself be marked with a true brand, as
deserters are with the letter D, and bear about him the indelible impres-
sion of a broad B.
HEIGIIO! E-ACCHE!
Considering (as L. N. would say) that the greatest and grandest
fuss at the International Exhibition has been made about the Drinks
for the public, it is not surprising that the first contribution should be
from Liberia, i. e., in honour of Bacchus—alias Liber.
[Cox, M.P., called and saw this in type, and we had so much trouble
in making him understand that Bacchus was called Liber d liberando,
and that Liberia had a similar origin, that we had a good mind not to
print the above, only the paragraph just fits this corner of the page.
He wanted us to print it Li^rier, and put the joke in italics.]