DOI Heft:
March 29, 1862
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16869#0136
128
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[March 29, 1862.
LURES FOR LADIES.
weet Mrs. Smith,
Are you like most
ladies a reader of ad-
vertisements ? If so, I
make no doubt your
eye has fallen on the
following, which has
for some while past
weekly been inserted
in the Lady's News-
paper :—
A N EASY FOR-
FA TUNE, guaranteed by
various Continental go-
vernments, may be made
by a small outlay.
For particulars enclose
stamped directed enve-
lope to Messrs. G. Hirsch-
feld & Co., 3, Church
Court, Clement’s Lane,
City, London, Agents to
Messrs. Haupt andVooes,
in Hamburg.
This sounds tempt-
ing, does it not ? And
if it so appears to you
who have a well-filled
purse and a carriage at
command, how luring
must it seem to our
poor friend Mrs.
J-nes, who, we know,
has a bare competence and half-a-dozen children left her to support. How must she be
tempted to expend a couple, of stamps in applying for “ particulars ” as to how by a small
outlay she may make an easy fortune ! Supposing she applies, what, think you, will she get
in return tor her spent twopence ? Whv, believe an expert, she will get two flimsy scraps
of foreign-printed paper, the one entitled “ Scheme of the two hundred and forty-second
Lottery of the free city of Hamburgh of 34,500 tickets and 18,500 prizes, Guaranteed by
Government,” and the other a short letter directing her “ kind notice ” to the same, and
Eointing out the many benefits she may derive from the said scheme. Likewise it will refer
er to a business firm in London for satisfaction that the lottery is a legitimate affair, and
really guaranteed by the Government of Hamburgh, having actually existed for 120 years.
How many easy fortunes have in all that time been made by it, Mrs. Jn-es is left at liberty
to guess. But as the highest prize obtainable is two hundred thousand marks, which Mrs.
J -nes will very likely take to mean two hundred thousand pounds, the chances are she will
not trouble herself with any calculations of the odds there are against her pocketing that sum,
but will forward at once the price requested for
a ticket, and will consider it a certainty that
the “easy fortune” will very soon be hers.
Two hundred thousand anythings, whether
pounds or pennies, she will think so large a sum,
that she will scarcely give a thought to the
“ small outlay ” required to secure the chance of
getting it. _What are a few shillings to such
a princely income as two hundred thousand
pounds ? for doubtless Mrs. J-nes, like many
other fair accountants, is in the habit of mistaking
a fortune for an income, and of considering that
any sum which falls into her hands will produce
a yearly income equal to itself. So away will
go the shillings, ana back won’t come the looked-
ior two hundred thousand pounds: and mean-
while in the expectancy of getting such a sum,
Mrs. J. will doubtless have bought new clothes
for her children, and have very likely moved
them to a larger house. So that when the dis-
appointment that may be expected comes, and
she discovers, as the odds are, that she has drawn
a blank, it is probable that she will have expended
all her savings and be sinking into debt, from
which with her small means it will be difficult to
free herself.
Pray, then, my dear Madam, assist me in pre-
venting poor weak and thoughtless ladies, like
our young friend Mrs. J-nes, from answering
advertisements such as the above, and throwing
away postage stamps (which they can ill afford
to waste) in obtaining the particulars of how an
“Easy Fortune may,” if there’s no trickery,
possibly in one case in ten millions, “ be made.”
Such details are a sad temptation to poor
widows, left with a large family and very little
means. That it is for the fair sex these snares
are chiefly set is shown by having such adver-
tisements put in the Lady’s Newspaper, which
is presumed to come especially beneath the
female eye; and now that their true import has
been faithfully exposed, may we not expect that
their appearance there will cease ?
En attendant, I remain, my dear Madam, your
charming sex’s ever constant friend and fearless
champion,
A CARD.
The celebrated transparent Medium, I. M. Poster, Esq., may be seen
through daily at his fashionable residence in Bryanstone Street, Bryan-
stone Square, where Mr. I. M. P. continues to charm his numerous and
aristocratic admirers by changing the widow’s mourning to gold, draw-
ing draughts from orphan’s eyes, and notes from the vibrating chords of
j affection. His practical application of the vivisection of bleeding hearts is
recommended to bereaved parties as a precious consolation under recent
losses Spirit Hands of departed relatives prepared from measure-
ment, drawings, or casts, and warranted warm. Deceased friends,
whose names are recorded in Newspaper Obituaries, Peerages, and
History (sacred as well as profane), will give the dates of their births,
deaths, and marriages, and any other information which may be commu-
nicated. to I. M. Poster ; either before or during the meeting. I. M.
P., to prevent disappointment, has to request that where such informa-
tion is required, it should be supplied in time for use, as he cannot be
expected to keep it on hand himself in the quantities required. All is
fair and above board. Mr. I. M. P. raps upon the table openly, and
j reads and writes above as easily as he does below it, and both without
j any attempt at concealment. Sceptics need not take the trouble to
attend. Mr. I. M. P. does not ask for then' money, and they will learn
nothing. Sharp children not admitted; idiots half-price ; lunatics free.
N.B. No connection with the rival Medium, Mr. Hoom-Btjg, whose
manipulations, if parties wish it, may doubtless be seen through at his
residence. I. M. Poster flatters himself that the spirits supplied by
him are the only genuine articles, and are warranted fresh drawn from
the wood.
P.S. Parties wishing to raise their own spirits may learn terms on
application to Mr. I. M.P. To save trouble, I. M. Poster, Esq., begs
to say that the only Medium through which he can be communicated with
is, the circulating one, or, in other words, “the current coin of the realm.”
The Bleaching Act.—Any Act that detains one in a hot theatre
after ten o’clock.
“ SHAN’T DO AS WE’RE BID.”
Dictation is the order of the day. Mr. Boucicault dictates to the
critics what they are to say about his writings, besides intimating on
the stage that newspaper articles are obtainable by bribes. The Trade
Unions dictate to workmen as to what wages they are to accept, and
blow up the houses of the disobedient with gunpowder. Sir Archibald
Alison dictates all his histories, and hence sends Peregrine Pickle to a
modern funeral, and puts the Emperor oe the French _ into the
Glasgow Sheriff’s Court. Here is another bit of dictation, which seems
to Mr. Punch both insolent and unconstitutional. It is an advertise-
ment signed by a person called Bontems :—
VORTH RIDING OF YORKSHIRE ELECTION, 1862.—As the
1 ’ Contest lies between two opponents of the BaUot, its friends in the North Riding
are earnestly entreated NOT to VOTE at this Election.
By order of the Committee of the Ballot Society.
The critics are obedient to Mr. Boucicault, the workmen are
obedient to the Unions, Sir A. Alison’s amanuensis is obedient to
him. But either the electors of the North Riding resent the insolence
of Bontems, or the Ballot must have very few friends there. For at the
close of the poll, the number of voters was 10,559, while there are in
the registry but about 12,000. We are glad to see that all Britons
will not be Slaves.
The Best Abused Science of the Day.
Political Economy has long been a Science that has been much
talked about, but very little practised. Least of all has it been under-
stood by Governments. Can you point to any one existing Government
that practically enforces its doctrines \ _ In fact, does Political Economv
exist at all in the present day, excepting in our Universities ? With
our increasing expenditure— an increase of not less than_twenty millions
in twenty years—we think it is time that this scientific impostor should
in honesty throw off its libellous cognomen, and, instead of being called
Political Economy, should with greater truth be for the future only
alluded to as the Science of Political Extravagance
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[March 29, 1862.
LURES FOR LADIES.
weet Mrs. Smith,
Are you like most
ladies a reader of ad-
vertisements ? If so, I
make no doubt your
eye has fallen on the
following, which has
for some while past
weekly been inserted
in the Lady's News-
paper :—
A N EASY FOR-
FA TUNE, guaranteed by
various Continental go-
vernments, may be made
by a small outlay.
For particulars enclose
stamped directed enve-
lope to Messrs. G. Hirsch-
feld & Co., 3, Church
Court, Clement’s Lane,
City, London, Agents to
Messrs. Haupt andVooes,
in Hamburg.
This sounds tempt-
ing, does it not ? And
if it so appears to you
who have a well-filled
purse and a carriage at
command, how luring
must it seem to our
poor friend Mrs.
J-nes, who, we know,
has a bare competence and half-a-dozen children left her to support. How must she be
tempted to expend a couple, of stamps in applying for “ particulars ” as to how by a small
outlay she may make an easy fortune ! Supposing she applies, what, think you, will she get
in return tor her spent twopence ? Whv, believe an expert, she will get two flimsy scraps
of foreign-printed paper, the one entitled “ Scheme of the two hundred and forty-second
Lottery of the free city of Hamburgh of 34,500 tickets and 18,500 prizes, Guaranteed by
Government,” and the other a short letter directing her “ kind notice ” to the same, and
Eointing out the many benefits she may derive from the said scheme. Likewise it will refer
er to a business firm in London for satisfaction that the lottery is a legitimate affair, and
really guaranteed by the Government of Hamburgh, having actually existed for 120 years.
How many easy fortunes have in all that time been made by it, Mrs. Jn-es is left at liberty
to guess. But as the highest prize obtainable is two hundred thousand marks, which Mrs.
J -nes will very likely take to mean two hundred thousand pounds, the chances are she will
not trouble herself with any calculations of the odds there are against her pocketing that sum,
but will forward at once the price requested for
a ticket, and will consider it a certainty that
the “easy fortune” will very soon be hers.
Two hundred thousand anythings, whether
pounds or pennies, she will think so large a sum,
that she will scarcely give a thought to the
“ small outlay ” required to secure the chance of
getting it. _What are a few shillings to such
a princely income as two hundred thousand
pounds ? for doubtless Mrs. J-nes, like many
other fair accountants, is in the habit of mistaking
a fortune for an income, and of considering that
any sum which falls into her hands will produce
a yearly income equal to itself. So away will
go the shillings, ana back won’t come the looked-
ior two hundred thousand pounds: and mean-
while in the expectancy of getting such a sum,
Mrs. J. will doubtless have bought new clothes
for her children, and have very likely moved
them to a larger house. So that when the dis-
appointment that may be expected comes, and
she discovers, as the odds are, that she has drawn
a blank, it is probable that she will have expended
all her savings and be sinking into debt, from
which with her small means it will be difficult to
free herself.
Pray, then, my dear Madam, assist me in pre-
venting poor weak and thoughtless ladies, like
our young friend Mrs. J-nes, from answering
advertisements such as the above, and throwing
away postage stamps (which they can ill afford
to waste) in obtaining the particulars of how an
“Easy Fortune may,” if there’s no trickery,
possibly in one case in ten millions, “ be made.”
Such details are a sad temptation to poor
widows, left with a large family and very little
means. That it is for the fair sex these snares
are chiefly set is shown by having such adver-
tisements put in the Lady’s Newspaper, which
is presumed to come especially beneath the
female eye; and now that their true import has
been faithfully exposed, may we not expect that
their appearance there will cease ?
En attendant, I remain, my dear Madam, your
charming sex’s ever constant friend and fearless
champion,
A CARD.
The celebrated transparent Medium, I. M. Poster, Esq., may be seen
through daily at his fashionable residence in Bryanstone Street, Bryan-
stone Square, where Mr. I. M. P. continues to charm his numerous and
aristocratic admirers by changing the widow’s mourning to gold, draw-
ing draughts from orphan’s eyes, and notes from the vibrating chords of
j affection. His practical application of the vivisection of bleeding hearts is
recommended to bereaved parties as a precious consolation under recent
losses Spirit Hands of departed relatives prepared from measure-
ment, drawings, or casts, and warranted warm. Deceased friends,
whose names are recorded in Newspaper Obituaries, Peerages, and
History (sacred as well as profane), will give the dates of their births,
deaths, and marriages, and any other information which may be commu-
nicated. to I. M. Poster ; either before or during the meeting. I. M.
P., to prevent disappointment, has to request that where such informa-
tion is required, it should be supplied in time for use, as he cannot be
expected to keep it on hand himself in the quantities required. All is
fair and above board. Mr. I. M. P. raps upon the table openly, and
j reads and writes above as easily as he does below it, and both without
j any attempt at concealment. Sceptics need not take the trouble to
attend. Mr. I. M. P. does not ask for then' money, and they will learn
nothing. Sharp children not admitted; idiots half-price ; lunatics free.
N.B. No connection with the rival Medium, Mr. Hoom-Btjg, whose
manipulations, if parties wish it, may doubtless be seen through at his
residence. I. M. Poster flatters himself that the spirits supplied by
him are the only genuine articles, and are warranted fresh drawn from
the wood.
P.S. Parties wishing to raise their own spirits may learn terms on
application to Mr. I. M.P. To save trouble, I. M. Poster, Esq., begs
to say that the only Medium through which he can be communicated with
is, the circulating one, or, in other words, “the current coin of the realm.”
The Bleaching Act.—Any Act that detains one in a hot theatre
after ten o’clock.
“ SHAN’T DO AS WE’RE BID.”
Dictation is the order of the day. Mr. Boucicault dictates to the
critics what they are to say about his writings, besides intimating on
the stage that newspaper articles are obtainable by bribes. The Trade
Unions dictate to workmen as to what wages they are to accept, and
blow up the houses of the disobedient with gunpowder. Sir Archibald
Alison dictates all his histories, and hence sends Peregrine Pickle to a
modern funeral, and puts the Emperor oe the French _ into the
Glasgow Sheriff’s Court. Here is another bit of dictation, which seems
to Mr. Punch both insolent and unconstitutional. It is an advertise-
ment signed by a person called Bontems :—
VORTH RIDING OF YORKSHIRE ELECTION, 1862.—As the
1 ’ Contest lies between two opponents of the BaUot, its friends in the North Riding
are earnestly entreated NOT to VOTE at this Election.
By order of the Committee of the Ballot Society.
The critics are obedient to Mr. Boucicault, the workmen are
obedient to the Unions, Sir A. Alison’s amanuensis is obedient to
him. But either the electors of the North Riding resent the insolence
of Bontems, or the Ballot must have very few friends there. For at the
close of the poll, the number of voters was 10,559, while there are in
the registry but about 12,000. We are glad to see that all Britons
will not be Slaves.
The Best Abused Science of the Day.
Political Economy has long been a Science that has been much
talked about, but very little practised. Least of all has it been under-
stood by Governments. Can you point to any one existing Government
that practically enforces its doctrines \ _ In fact, does Political Economv
exist at all in the present day, excepting in our Universities ? With
our increasing expenditure— an increase of not less than_twenty millions
in twenty years—we think it is time that this scientific impostor should
in honesty throw off its libellous cognomen, and, instead of being called
Political Economy, should with greater truth be for the future only
alluded to as the Science of Political Extravagance