DOI issue:
April 5, 1862
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16869#0139
April 5, 1862.]
131
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
March 24, Monday. Mr. Punch has to remark that whether the
cause be the impending Exhibition, or the great news from America,
or the contemplation of Mr. Peabody’s munificence, or the appear-
ance of Mb. Gye’s programme, or the incubation of the Pythoness, or
some other disturbing influence, the legislature of the country is in a
state of mild collapse. He would really hardly consider it worth his
august while to issue any Essence at all this week, were it not for a
somewhat important fact which occurred on the Eriday in connection
with the Education question. _ Mr. Whiteside rather neatly described
the stagnation of things political, when he said that chickweed was
upon the face of the Session.
The Chancellor has pushed his Lunacy Bill through Committee,
defeating his beloved friend Lord Chelmsford, in an attempt to
knock out the two years and no-doctor clause, but declining to insert a
provision suggested by Lord Shaftesbury, who seems to dislike
physicians, and who wished to declare that no “ opinion ” of a medical
man should be taken as proof of insanity.
It seems that the promoters of the Edinburgh, Dunfermline and
Perth Railway Bill, have decidedly defied the Standing Orders, but
hoped to be forgiven on the ground of the extreme desirability of the
measure. They were strenuously withstood by the stern Patten, who
is also a Clog upon the hasty foot of the Legislature. Dunfermline is a
town in which a king sat
“ Drinking the blood-rad wine,”
and in which the present inhabitants have very hospitable habits, and
Mr. Punch regrets that there should be any impediment in the way of
a scheme for connecting them more closely with Edinburgh, whence they
procure the blood-red and other wines which they dispense so freely.
Still, their attempt to seize the Queen’s Ferry, instead of buying it,
savours more of the days of the king above-mentioned than those of"
Queen Yictoria, and Mr. Punch must recommend to the Dunfermliners
a course of practice less chivalrous, but more in accordance with effemi-
nate notions of justice. The Bruce, that is to say Mr. Cumming
Bruce, led them on upon this occasion, but not to a Bannockburn (save
that their own bannocks were burned) but rather to a Elodden. But
never mind—
“ If it was na weel bobbit, weel bobbit, weel bobbit,
If it was na weel bobbit, we ’ll bob it again.”
The Attorney-General stated that the reason why the Bankruptcy
Bill had not worked last year so well as it should have done was, that
three out of the five London Commissioners attended very irregularly,
and because more Registrars were wanted. New Registrars can easily
be had; and, unless the other parties mend their manners, Mr. Punch
would also recommend new Commissioners.
• A little Irish row is a thing to be grateful for in these days, and the
House was quite pleased when a debate arose on a modest proposition
that Irish workhouse chaplains, of the Catholic religion, should not be
appointed or dismissed until the Government should have ascertained
the will and pleasure of the Roman Catholic bishops on the point. A
good bit of downright audacious impudence does one good, and the
House warmed up, and let Mr. Maguire talk nonsense about a
“ badge of slavery; ” and a Catholic who did not desire the change
being a “ slave at heart,” and similar trash. Of course, Sir Robert
Peel “respectfully ” declined making any such concession, and those
who asked it did not carry their assurance into the lobby.
On the Mutiny Bill big Mr. White moved the omission of the
clause whicli authorises flogging in the Army. Sir G. C. Lewis
stated that this punishment was becoming rarer and rarer, in conse-
quence of what we may call the filtering arrangement by which soldiers
are divided into classes, and encouraged to maintain self-respect. But
he declined to take away the power of inflicting the lash; and, on divi-
sion, there were 67 for the Government, and 14 for Mr. White.
Tuesday. A Bill for enabling the Trustees of that queer-looking place
in Lincoln’s Inn Fields, called Sir John Soane’s Museum, to lend to
the International some of the articles hoarded in that den by the
crabbed old architect, was forwarded in the Lords. And Lord Car-
narvon made a speech in favour of Poland, to which Lord Russell
replied at great length, but to the effect that we could do nothing, but
that much might be hoped from the benevolence of the Emperor. If
all that we hear be true, there is room for an unlimited expansion of
such benevolence, for certain continental journals state that a gentleman
named Zamoyski has iust been literally cut to pieces with rods, at
Warsaw, for having published a liberation journal called the Pilot.
The House of Commons kept the appointment made by Mr.
Walpole for an Education debate. He brought forward certain
resolutions in opposition to the arrangements proposed by the
Revised Code. Mr. Punch is not going into an analysis of the debate,
tor Mr. Lowe’s statesmanship shall be tested, as he proposes to test the
schools, by Results. The result of the debate, or of the conviction ob-
tained by Government as to the power of the so-called “religious”
party, was that on Eriday night, Mr. Lowe, though menaced with no
hostile division, announced the submission of Ministers upon certain
important particulars. He proposes to give a part of the Government
grant to a school on a report of the Inspector, and a part on an examina-
tion-lie will not insist on grouping by age—and he will take care of
the interests of the pupil-teachers. Victory is claimed by the opponents
of the scheme, but possibly Mr. Lowe acted as tradesmen do in the
case of ladies who are known to be addicted to “bargaining”—the
seller adds ten per cent, to the price he means to receive, and takes that
off in compliance with the haggling protests of the fair economist. But
the whole operation does not speak well for the confidence of Govern-
ment in its own strength, or in the wisdom of Mr. Lowe, and it was
felt that a case of dignus vindice had occurred, so it was arranged that
Lord Palmerston, unfortunately troubled with the gout, should come
down on the following Monday, and say something pleasant. Of course
Mr. Walpole was all smiles, and Mr. Disraeli was the Quintessence
of Parliament, solemnly complimentary, in his very best manner.
The debate, which occupied Tuesday and Thursday night, was ex-
tremely dull, and was almost entirely left, to the Bores. Perhaps the
Wesleyan bishops, who ordered their flocks to put the screw on, were
right, and few Members had opinions of their own upon the Education
question. Mr. Punch merely places on record his protest against cer-
tain Cant which has been talked during the discussion, and utterly
refuses to assent to the proposition that, it is not a Religious Education
that makes a boy clean, orderly, prompt, and intelligent, or that it is a
Religious Education that teaches him to call over the names of the
children of Pahath-moab, the children of Kirjatharim, the children of
Azmaveth, the children of Adonikam, and the children of Bethjesln-
moth. No way insensible to the value of certain arguments of the
opponents of secular education, Mr. Punch nevertheless maintains that
the three R.’s help the fourth R. much better than Mr. Roebuck’s
friend Jehoshaphat can do. But the agitation has done incalculable
good, and the schools will be electrified into wholesomer life than they
have ever enjoyed.
Wednesday's proceedings were perfectly unimportant, except to unfor-
tunate young persons who may incur the punishment of being whipped
in gaol, and who may be interested in knowing that their offences will
be visited in future, not with the instrument that castigates our gallant
soldiers, but that which chastises our youthful aristocracy—Betulla,
vice Felis.
Thursday. Except as aforesaid, and an intimation by Mr. Layard
to Sir George Bowyer that certain questions asked here in the
interest of the Italian Brigands had better be asked in the free Par-
liament of Turin, there was nothing worthy of crystallisal ion.
Friday. Another blank, save that Mr. Lowe “came down,” as
hath been mentioned. Mr. Henley remarked that it would be
“almost a sin” to make the Education question one of party. We
shall probably see how near to sin a good many good people are not
afraid to come. With which remark Mr. Punch concludes the abstract
and brief chronicle of the Parliamentary Week, his work resembling
that of the respected ancestors of M.M. Rothschild, M.P., Salomons.
M.P., and Goldsmid, M.P., when one of the Amenophizzes required
them to make bricks without straw.
MORMONITE PETTICOAT GOVERNMENT.
The American news in the Times one day last week contained the
announcement that—
“ On the 3rd Brigham Young was elected President of Utah, and Hebe C.
Kimball, Lieutenant-Governor.”
Until we read this item of intelligence we were unaware that, to the
extent which it indicates, Mormonism acknowledged the political rights
of women. Hebe C. Kimball, we presume, is a lady about to become
one of the already numerous Mesdames Brigham Young. When
Hebe Charlotte Kimball exchanges the name of Kimball for that
of Young, it may be that Young will adore his new spouse, but the
American Hebe, inasmuch as Young is rather old, will not therefore
become the Goddess of Youth. The Mormonites showed some com-
plaisance in electing Brigham’s new consort to be his Lieutenant-
Governor, or, to speak perhaps more correctly, Governess. This is the
first authentically recorded appointment of a female to any kind of
Lieutenancy, for little reliance can be placed on the statement in the
popular ballad which narrates the promotion of the sailor girl to be
first Lieutenant of the gallant Thunaerbomb.
It is not without some misgiving that we publish the foregoing
account of Miss Kimball’s election to the Lieutenant-Governorship of
Utah. The prospect of obtaining such a situation as hers may allure to
the borders of the Great Salt Lake too many young ladies who cannot
get married, and. have no more agreeable lot before them at home than
that of an English Governess.
Unnecessary Patent for Poor People.—“ Stevens’ Patent for
Kneading (needing) bread.”
131
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
March 24, Monday. Mr. Punch has to remark that whether the
cause be the impending Exhibition, or the great news from America,
or the contemplation of Mr. Peabody’s munificence, or the appear-
ance of Mb. Gye’s programme, or the incubation of the Pythoness, or
some other disturbing influence, the legislature of the country is in a
state of mild collapse. He would really hardly consider it worth his
august while to issue any Essence at all this week, were it not for a
somewhat important fact which occurred on the Eriday in connection
with the Education question. _ Mr. Whiteside rather neatly described
the stagnation of things political, when he said that chickweed was
upon the face of the Session.
The Chancellor has pushed his Lunacy Bill through Committee,
defeating his beloved friend Lord Chelmsford, in an attempt to
knock out the two years and no-doctor clause, but declining to insert a
provision suggested by Lord Shaftesbury, who seems to dislike
physicians, and who wished to declare that no “ opinion ” of a medical
man should be taken as proof of insanity.
It seems that the promoters of the Edinburgh, Dunfermline and
Perth Railway Bill, have decidedly defied the Standing Orders, but
hoped to be forgiven on the ground of the extreme desirability of the
measure. They were strenuously withstood by the stern Patten, who
is also a Clog upon the hasty foot of the Legislature. Dunfermline is a
town in which a king sat
“ Drinking the blood-rad wine,”
and in which the present inhabitants have very hospitable habits, and
Mr. Punch regrets that there should be any impediment in the way of
a scheme for connecting them more closely with Edinburgh, whence they
procure the blood-red and other wines which they dispense so freely.
Still, their attempt to seize the Queen’s Ferry, instead of buying it,
savours more of the days of the king above-mentioned than those of"
Queen Yictoria, and Mr. Punch must recommend to the Dunfermliners
a course of practice less chivalrous, but more in accordance with effemi-
nate notions of justice. The Bruce, that is to say Mr. Cumming
Bruce, led them on upon this occasion, but not to a Bannockburn (save
that their own bannocks were burned) but rather to a Elodden. But
never mind—
“ If it was na weel bobbit, weel bobbit, weel bobbit,
If it was na weel bobbit, we ’ll bob it again.”
The Attorney-General stated that the reason why the Bankruptcy
Bill had not worked last year so well as it should have done was, that
three out of the five London Commissioners attended very irregularly,
and because more Registrars were wanted. New Registrars can easily
be had; and, unless the other parties mend their manners, Mr. Punch
would also recommend new Commissioners.
• A little Irish row is a thing to be grateful for in these days, and the
House was quite pleased when a debate arose on a modest proposition
that Irish workhouse chaplains, of the Catholic religion, should not be
appointed or dismissed until the Government should have ascertained
the will and pleasure of the Roman Catholic bishops on the point. A
good bit of downright audacious impudence does one good, and the
House warmed up, and let Mr. Maguire talk nonsense about a
“ badge of slavery; ” and a Catholic who did not desire the change
being a “ slave at heart,” and similar trash. Of course, Sir Robert
Peel “respectfully ” declined making any such concession, and those
who asked it did not carry their assurance into the lobby.
On the Mutiny Bill big Mr. White moved the omission of the
clause whicli authorises flogging in the Army. Sir G. C. Lewis
stated that this punishment was becoming rarer and rarer, in conse-
quence of what we may call the filtering arrangement by which soldiers
are divided into classes, and encouraged to maintain self-respect. But
he declined to take away the power of inflicting the lash; and, on divi-
sion, there were 67 for the Government, and 14 for Mr. White.
Tuesday. A Bill for enabling the Trustees of that queer-looking place
in Lincoln’s Inn Fields, called Sir John Soane’s Museum, to lend to
the International some of the articles hoarded in that den by the
crabbed old architect, was forwarded in the Lords. And Lord Car-
narvon made a speech in favour of Poland, to which Lord Russell
replied at great length, but to the effect that we could do nothing, but
that much might be hoped from the benevolence of the Emperor. If
all that we hear be true, there is room for an unlimited expansion of
such benevolence, for certain continental journals state that a gentleman
named Zamoyski has iust been literally cut to pieces with rods, at
Warsaw, for having published a liberation journal called the Pilot.
The House of Commons kept the appointment made by Mr.
Walpole for an Education debate. He brought forward certain
resolutions in opposition to the arrangements proposed by the
Revised Code. Mr. Punch is not going into an analysis of the debate,
tor Mr. Lowe’s statesmanship shall be tested, as he proposes to test the
schools, by Results. The result of the debate, or of the conviction ob-
tained by Government as to the power of the so-called “religious”
party, was that on Eriday night, Mr. Lowe, though menaced with no
hostile division, announced the submission of Ministers upon certain
important particulars. He proposes to give a part of the Government
grant to a school on a report of the Inspector, and a part on an examina-
tion-lie will not insist on grouping by age—and he will take care of
the interests of the pupil-teachers. Victory is claimed by the opponents
of the scheme, but possibly Mr. Lowe acted as tradesmen do in the
case of ladies who are known to be addicted to “bargaining”—the
seller adds ten per cent, to the price he means to receive, and takes that
off in compliance with the haggling protests of the fair economist. But
the whole operation does not speak well for the confidence of Govern-
ment in its own strength, or in the wisdom of Mr. Lowe, and it was
felt that a case of dignus vindice had occurred, so it was arranged that
Lord Palmerston, unfortunately troubled with the gout, should come
down on the following Monday, and say something pleasant. Of course
Mr. Walpole was all smiles, and Mr. Disraeli was the Quintessence
of Parliament, solemnly complimentary, in his very best manner.
The debate, which occupied Tuesday and Thursday night, was ex-
tremely dull, and was almost entirely left, to the Bores. Perhaps the
Wesleyan bishops, who ordered their flocks to put the screw on, were
right, and few Members had opinions of their own upon the Education
question. Mr. Punch merely places on record his protest against cer-
tain Cant which has been talked during the discussion, and utterly
refuses to assent to the proposition that, it is not a Religious Education
that makes a boy clean, orderly, prompt, and intelligent, or that it is a
Religious Education that teaches him to call over the names of the
children of Pahath-moab, the children of Kirjatharim, the children of
Azmaveth, the children of Adonikam, and the children of Bethjesln-
moth. No way insensible to the value of certain arguments of the
opponents of secular education, Mr. Punch nevertheless maintains that
the three R.’s help the fourth R. much better than Mr. Roebuck’s
friend Jehoshaphat can do. But the agitation has done incalculable
good, and the schools will be electrified into wholesomer life than they
have ever enjoyed.
Wednesday's proceedings were perfectly unimportant, except to unfor-
tunate young persons who may incur the punishment of being whipped
in gaol, and who may be interested in knowing that their offences will
be visited in future, not with the instrument that castigates our gallant
soldiers, but that which chastises our youthful aristocracy—Betulla,
vice Felis.
Thursday. Except as aforesaid, and an intimation by Mr. Layard
to Sir George Bowyer that certain questions asked here in the
interest of the Italian Brigands had better be asked in the free Par-
liament of Turin, there was nothing worthy of crystallisal ion.
Friday. Another blank, save that Mr. Lowe “came down,” as
hath been mentioned. Mr. Henley remarked that it would be
“almost a sin” to make the Education question one of party. We
shall probably see how near to sin a good many good people are not
afraid to come. With which remark Mr. Punch concludes the abstract
and brief chronicle of the Parliamentary Week, his work resembling
that of the respected ancestors of M.M. Rothschild, M.P., Salomons.
M.P., and Goldsmid, M.P., when one of the Amenophizzes required
them to make bricks without straw.
MORMONITE PETTICOAT GOVERNMENT.
The American news in the Times one day last week contained the
announcement that—
“ On the 3rd Brigham Young was elected President of Utah, and Hebe C.
Kimball, Lieutenant-Governor.”
Until we read this item of intelligence we were unaware that, to the
extent which it indicates, Mormonism acknowledged the political rights
of women. Hebe C. Kimball, we presume, is a lady about to become
one of the already numerous Mesdames Brigham Young. When
Hebe Charlotte Kimball exchanges the name of Kimball for that
of Young, it may be that Young will adore his new spouse, but the
American Hebe, inasmuch as Young is rather old, will not therefore
become the Goddess of Youth. The Mormonites showed some com-
plaisance in electing Brigham’s new consort to be his Lieutenant-
Governor, or, to speak perhaps more correctly, Governess. This is the
first authentically recorded appointment of a female to any kind of
Lieutenancy, for little reliance can be placed on the statement in the
popular ballad which narrates the promotion of the sailor girl to be
first Lieutenant of the gallant Thunaerbomb.
It is not without some misgiving that we publish the foregoing
account of Miss Kimball’s election to the Lieutenant-Governorship of
Utah. The prospect of obtaining such a situation as hers may allure to
the borders of the Great Salt Lake too many young ladies who cannot
get married, and. have no more agreeable lot before them at home than
that of an English Governess.
Unnecessary Patent for Poor People.—“ Stevens’ Patent for
Kneading (needing) bread.”