DOI Heft:
April 12, 1862
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16869#0160
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [April 12, 1862.
JOHN TOMKINS AND ’AERY BLOATER.
NO MORE ARMSTRONG GUNS !
The Great Exhibition of 1862 is destined to cement the
whole human brotherhood. That of 1851 was to have done
so, but did not ; for it was soon followed by the Russian I
War and Indian Mutiny, and lastly by hostilities with
China. In regard to China, however, arrangements have
been made with Poo-Loo to repair every breach, as well
as to unite any other fracture that may occur elsewhere.
To promote the fraternisation of mankind it is proposed
to set the world an example, which cannot but conduce to
that desirable result. Measures are in active progress for
the _ embellishment of our public places with the statues of
distinguished foreigners.
The statues of Dante, Tasso, Goethe, Schiller,
Racine, Moliere, Corneille, and Beranger, will be
put up in Westminster Abbey, if there is room for them >
there; if not they will be placed, with other European j
celebrities,_ in Trafalgar Square, that being confessedly the
finest site in Europe. In tliis situation also will be stationed 1
those of Charles the Twelfth,'Frederick the Great,
Massena, Soult, and a few more of Napoleon’s Generals.
With a view to paying a delicate compliment, the statue !
of Napoleon himself will be set in Waterloo Place.
The Houses of Parliament will be decorated with statues i
of Yoltaire, Rousseau, Mirabeau, Danton, Marat, j
and Robespierre; Pozzo di Borgo, Metternich, Nes-
selrode, and other Continental statesmen and philosophers, j
Bossuet will have a statue in Sinithfield.
The statues of as many other illustrious strangers as time j
and money will allow will be reared in various parts of the S
Metropolis, which will thus acquire quite a cosmopolitan I
character. The inauguration of these statues will doubtless
inaugurate the reign of universal peace in the family of !
Man, and impel the peoples, now armed to the teeth against
each other, to discard their armaments and rush into each
other’s arms. The only possible objection to the proposed j
sculptures will be obviated by getting them executed by 1
foreign artists; for if we, employed native talent to make
them, they might, unfortunately, chance to be mistaken for
caricatures.
N.B. Mr. Punch, of 85, Eleet Street, will take care of
any money which may be sent to him as a subscription
towards the contemplated statues.
Time of Queen Victobia, 1862—not at all scarce
’Arry (in the Boots of the Period). “Yes, they’re Dooced Comfortable, and they
give one a Military and rather Sporting Appearance, I fancy.”
Revival of an old Adelphi Piece at Drury
Lane.—Shalcspeare's House to Let.
PUNCH TO LORD CHIEF JUSTICE ERLE.
My dear Erle, 85, Fleet Street, April 8th.
I am always glad of any opportunity that brings you and me
into communication, for you are, as 1 have had or made occasion to tell
you before, no end of a Brick.
But I am not quite clear that I am satisfied with the definition you
laid down on Friday, in the case of the Morning Post and the lady who
did not like to be laughed at about that dog business. The result of
the trial, and the Farthing for the ill-advised lady, were all right, and
would leave nothing to regret, but that the Post has to pay its own
heavy costs, and that you, my dear Erle, have emitted the unsatis-
factory definition.
Definitions are difficult things. Shakspeare intimates that only
very scholarly minds should undertake them, wrhen he makes Armado
say to Moth, “Define, define, well-educated infant.”
You say, my dear Erle, that a legitimate press criticism is one which
does not make “ a rational and sensible person less comfortable in
Society.”
My dear L. C. J., surely you must see that this is to put down all
press criticism, and to bring back the law of libel to what it was in the
old days, when a libel was defined to be anything that was in the slight-
est degree disagreeable to anybody. Surely any person who is cen-
sured at all is thereby made less comfortable in Society. Even you
yourself, my Erle, who are one of the most rational and sensible, and
also one of the goodest and kindest men going, will be (momentarily
only, I hope) rendered less comfortable in Society by knowing that I
have signified incomplete satisfaction with one of your dicta. Yet, you
would not come down on me as a libeller, my dear fellow, would you ?
Besides, ought not even a rational and sensible person who does an
absurd thing (ol course you and I don’t talk of women as rational or
sensible) to be visited with castigation and discomfort, in his own
interest and that of society ?
Besides, again, is not the comfort of society to be considered, and
“ what thing is more delightful,” as Cicero says, than the seeing an j
acquaintance’s goose artfully cooked ? The greatest happiness of the j
greatest number, my dear Erle.
Just reconsider your definition, will you, and come and tell me that
you have done so—dinner at 7 sharp.
Ever yours, my dear L. C. J.,
Most affectionately,
To the Lord Chief Justice Erle,
Spc., 8gc.
Misapplication of Peter’s Pence.
The Lamoriciere Sword Fund has, at General Lamoriciere’s re-
quest, been handed over to the “ Peter’s Pence Association.” According
to the Tablet, the Secretary to the Lamoriciere Testimonial Committee
has disappeared, and there is “ a very considerable difference between |
the amount acknowledged by advertisements in the newspapers, and
the amount forthcoming.” If Peter’s Pence have been appropriated by j
somebody else, we fear it will turn out that the party has not been
robbing Peter to pay Paul. But suppose the pence had all reached
Rome. Would Peter not have been robbed to pay Chiavone ?
Britannia’s Shield
The good old lady has sent it to Vulcan to have it instantly iron-
plated with good four-inch iron-plate at least. She has sufficient sense
to understand that, if the waves are to be ruled, it will be done for the
future with an iron ruler. England’s best shield is Iron. You see |
Britannia is no fool in the main.
The Last Report of the Python.—“ Left Sitting.”
JOHN TOMKINS AND ’AERY BLOATER.
NO MORE ARMSTRONG GUNS !
The Great Exhibition of 1862 is destined to cement the
whole human brotherhood. That of 1851 was to have done
so, but did not ; for it was soon followed by the Russian I
War and Indian Mutiny, and lastly by hostilities with
China. In regard to China, however, arrangements have
been made with Poo-Loo to repair every breach, as well
as to unite any other fracture that may occur elsewhere.
To promote the fraternisation of mankind it is proposed
to set the world an example, which cannot but conduce to
that desirable result. Measures are in active progress for
the _ embellishment of our public places with the statues of
distinguished foreigners.
The statues of Dante, Tasso, Goethe, Schiller,
Racine, Moliere, Corneille, and Beranger, will be
put up in Westminster Abbey, if there is room for them >
there; if not they will be placed, with other European j
celebrities,_ in Trafalgar Square, that being confessedly the
finest site in Europe. In tliis situation also will be stationed 1
those of Charles the Twelfth,'Frederick the Great,
Massena, Soult, and a few more of Napoleon’s Generals.
With a view to paying a delicate compliment, the statue !
of Napoleon himself will be set in Waterloo Place.
The Houses of Parliament will be decorated with statues i
of Yoltaire, Rousseau, Mirabeau, Danton, Marat, j
and Robespierre; Pozzo di Borgo, Metternich, Nes-
selrode, and other Continental statesmen and philosophers, j
Bossuet will have a statue in Sinithfield.
The statues of as many other illustrious strangers as time j
and money will allow will be reared in various parts of the S
Metropolis, which will thus acquire quite a cosmopolitan I
character. The inauguration of these statues will doubtless
inaugurate the reign of universal peace in the family of !
Man, and impel the peoples, now armed to the teeth against
each other, to discard their armaments and rush into each
other’s arms. The only possible objection to the proposed j
sculptures will be obviated by getting them executed by 1
foreign artists; for if we, employed native talent to make
them, they might, unfortunately, chance to be mistaken for
caricatures.
N.B. Mr. Punch, of 85, Eleet Street, will take care of
any money which may be sent to him as a subscription
towards the contemplated statues.
Time of Queen Victobia, 1862—not at all scarce
’Arry (in the Boots of the Period). “Yes, they’re Dooced Comfortable, and they
give one a Military and rather Sporting Appearance, I fancy.”
Revival of an old Adelphi Piece at Drury
Lane.—Shalcspeare's House to Let.
PUNCH TO LORD CHIEF JUSTICE ERLE.
My dear Erle, 85, Fleet Street, April 8th.
I am always glad of any opportunity that brings you and me
into communication, for you are, as 1 have had or made occasion to tell
you before, no end of a Brick.
But I am not quite clear that I am satisfied with the definition you
laid down on Friday, in the case of the Morning Post and the lady who
did not like to be laughed at about that dog business. The result of
the trial, and the Farthing for the ill-advised lady, were all right, and
would leave nothing to regret, but that the Post has to pay its own
heavy costs, and that you, my dear Erle, have emitted the unsatis-
factory definition.
Definitions are difficult things. Shakspeare intimates that only
very scholarly minds should undertake them, wrhen he makes Armado
say to Moth, “Define, define, well-educated infant.”
You say, my dear Erle, that a legitimate press criticism is one which
does not make “ a rational and sensible person less comfortable in
Society.”
My dear L. C. J., surely you must see that this is to put down all
press criticism, and to bring back the law of libel to what it was in the
old days, when a libel was defined to be anything that was in the slight-
est degree disagreeable to anybody. Surely any person who is cen-
sured at all is thereby made less comfortable in Society. Even you
yourself, my Erle, who are one of the most rational and sensible, and
also one of the goodest and kindest men going, will be (momentarily
only, I hope) rendered less comfortable in Society by knowing that I
have signified incomplete satisfaction with one of your dicta. Yet, you
would not come down on me as a libeller, my dear fellow, would you ?
Besides, ought not even a rational and sensible person who does an
absurd thing (ol course you and I don’t talk of women as rational or
sensible) to be visited with castigation and discomfort, in his own
interest and that of society ?
Besides, again, is not the comfort of society to be considered, and
“ what thing is more delightful,” as Cicero says, than the seeing an j
acquaintance’s goose artfully cooked ? The greatest happiness of the j
greatest number, my dear Erle.
Just reconsider your definition, will you, and come and tell me that
you have done so—dinner at 7 sharp.
Ever yours, my dear L. C. J.,
Most affectionately,
To the Lord Chief Justice Erle,
Spc., 8gc.
Misapplication of Peter’s Pence.
The Lamoriciere Sword Fund has, at General Lamoriciere’s re-
quest, been handed over to the “ Peter’s Pence Association.” According
to the Tablet, the Secretary to the Lamoriciere Testimonial Committee
has disappeared, and there is “ a very considerable difference between |
the amount acknowledged by advertisements in the newspapers, and
the amount forthcoming.” If Peter’s Pence have been appropriated by j
somebody else, we fear it will turn out that the party has not been
robbing Peter to pay Paul. But suppose the pence had all reached
Rome. Would Peter not have been robbed to pay Chiavone ?
Britannia’s Shield
The good old lady has sent it to Vulcan to have it instantly iron-
plated with good four-inch iron-plate at least. She has sufficient sense
to understand that, if the waves are to be ruled, it will be done for the
future with an iron ruler. England’s best shield is Iron. You see |
Britannia is no fool in the main.
The Last Report of the Python.—“ Left Sitting.”