DOI Heft:
May 3, 1862
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16869#0182
174
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[May 3, 1862.
Maiden Aunt (sweetly). “Run away, Harry, darling, and get me my Work-box,
and I’ll give you a Kiss.”
Habry, darling. “ Then I won’t go.”
OUR ANCHOR AT THE EXHIBITION.
A Russian War, an Indian Mutiny
By strong arm, fire, and crushing steel suppressed,
The fight for Freedom waged in Italy,
Which Austria’s Vulture partly dispossessed,
And now America’s inhuman strife,
Brothers with brothers warring to the knife.
These horrors, following on our first World’s Fair,
When sanguine prophets bade us to prepare
For the Millennium’s near approaching reign.
Forbid us to predict the like again.
No talk of Universal Brotherhood,
To date from this, our second vast Work-Show 1
For evil still divides this world with good,
As when Cain murdered Abel long ago.
Nay, rather come, ye Nations, and behold
Our shattered target, plated manifold,
Amd take a hint from that Cyclopean gun.
And thunderbolt, wherewith such wrack is done.
That Peace may gather all the hope it can
From their impression on our Fellow-man.
Yet did we fail so utterly before,
As Earth, of violence full, would seem to say P
Much misery and blood might have been more;
We still have tried to lead the better way.
Of peaceful toil the fruit if we have lost.
What fruit below is safe from blight ana frost ?
Our little efforts must at tillage stop ;
We plough, sow, irrigate—implore the crop.
At last the needful aid we may obtain,
And find that we worked not all in vain,
Hard though the labour be.
In Nomine Domini.
“ Delirant Reges, plectuntur Achivi."
King Otho has made such a mess of Greece, in the con-
stant broils in which he has been engaged with his sub-
jects, that one is not surprised to find at last that “ all the
fat is in the fire,” or, in other words, that Greece is flaring
up against its Bavarian ruler. The Almanack de Gotha
informs us he is of the family of Wittolsbach. Surely this
must be an error of the press. Otho’s real family is that
of Wittol’s-head.
ESSAYS AND REMARKS.
Appearance.—Ml appearance finer than what you would sport if
you were Robinson Crusoe, with no Friday for a spectator, is not,
perhaps, mere ostentation. Other motives than vanity may induce a
man to keep up a preposterous or extravagant appearance; for he may
be a kind husband, and loth to grieve his wife. Or, although single,
he may have to get his living by customers, clients, or patients, who
are attracted by splendour as moths are allured by a candle. If he
were to reduce his appearance to reasonable plainness, they would think
his business was decreasing, and accordingly forsake him; for most
people are apt to be quick in getting out of the way of anybody who seems
going to the dogs. Many a poor and prudent person, whose calling is
genteel, is obliged to maintain a corresponding appearance, which
subjects him to be surcharged for Income-Tax; because if it were as
shabby as it ought to be, he would earn no income at all.
_ Be sure to cultivate a professional appearance if you are a prac-
tising member of any profession, unless you want to get rid of your
practice. Particularly observe this rule if your profession is the medi-
cal, and, for example, do not go about in a shooting-jacket and a cap
or a wide-awake ; for people employ you not so much for you to cure
them as to worship them, and they will be offended with your appear-
ance if they imagine it to show unconcern about their opinion amount-
ing to unconsciousness of dependence on their favour.
An excessively sumptuous appearance is not always so necessary for
purposes of business as people who are fond of display persuade them-
selves that it is. Beware of outshining those whom you wish to con-
ciliate, for they will either account for your magnificence by supposing
that you are very rich, and then they will envy you, and, what is worse,
perhaps want you to lend them money; or if they know that you are
not rich, they will impute jour display to vanity and folly, and, if they
are nettled by the superiority of your style to their own, they will
perhaps also regard it as the expression of insolence, which they will
resent.
A philosopher adapts his appearance to his circumstances if he can
do so without taking any trouble. If he is wealthy, his appearance, if
not splendid is at least decent; for it is easier to show good taste than
to affect bad, besides that anybody capable of affecting bad taste would
be an uncommon fool. A rich philosopher, then, will employ the best
tailor that he knows of; a poor one will be content to clothe himself
with the strongest slops he can buy. He will dress with a simple
view to cheapness and convenience, regardless of every other consider-
ation. His clothes will last him as long as they are comfortable, and,
for some considerable time before they are worn out, will give him an
appearance which will have the advantage of exempting him from the
annoyance of finding his meditations, during his walks, interrupted by
beggars.
It will also ensure him against being treated with obsequious or even
ordinary politeness by shopkeepers, railway-clerks and other servants,
except waiters, who know that civility costs nothing, whereas incivility
will forfeit the chance of a penny. It will, to be sure, render him liable
to be occasionally asked to hold a gentleman’s horse. _ When at length
he comes out in a new suit, the lower orders will cringe to him, and
the superior classes will treat him with some respect; and he will
sometimes find a change in people’s demeanour towards him produced
merely by the glossy appearance exhibited by an old hat, not too much
battered, that has been carefully wiped and put by after having been
drenched with rain.
“ How will it look ? ” is a woman’s question, which you may as well
consider when it does not imply, as it not seldom does, discontent with
an appearance as fine as you can afford. But women really do not
consider this question half so much as men fancy they do. They are
anxious that whatever they wear should look fashionable, but for the
most part do not care a pin if it also looks ridiculous, so that they are
in a great measure regardless of appearance, such as that presented by
Crinoline.
Tautology at Brighton.—Calling certain volunteer Lawyers, the
Devil’s Own, and The enemy.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[May 3, 1862.
Maiden Aunt (sweetly). “Run away, Harry, darling, and get me my Work-box,
and I’ll give you a Kiss.”
Habry, darling. “ Then I won’t go.”
OUR ANCHOR AT THE EXHIBITION.
A Russian War, an Indian Mutiny
By strong arm, fire, and crushing steel suppressed,
The fight for Freedom waged in Italy,
Which Austria’s Vulture partly dispossessed,
And now America’s inhuman strife,
Brothers with brothers warring to the knife.
These horrors, following on our first World’s Fair,
When sanguine prophets bade us to prepare
For the Millennium’s near approaching reign.
Forbid us to predict the like again.
No talk of Universal Brotherhood,
To date from this, our second vast Work-Show 1
For evil still divides this world with good,
As when Cain murdered Abel long ago.
Nay, rather come, ye Nations, and behold
Our shattered target, plated manifold,
Amd take a hint from that Cyclopean gun.
And thunderbolt, wherewith such wrack is done.
That Peace may gather all the hope it can
From their impression on our Fellow-man.
Yet did we fail so utterly before,
As Earth, of violence full, would seem to say P
Much misery and blood might have been more;
We still have tried to lead the better way.
Of peaceful toil the fruit if we have lost.
What fruit below is safe from blight ana frost ?
Our little efforts must at tillage stop ;
We plough, sow, irrigate—implore the crop.
At last the needful aid we may obtain,
And find that we worked not all in vain,
Hard though the labour be.
In Nomine Domini.
“ Delirant Reges, plectuntur Achivi."
King Otho has made such a mess of Greece, in the con-
stant broils in which he has been engaged with his sub-
jects, that one is not surprised to find at last that “ all the
fat is in the fire,” or, in other words, that Greece is flaring
up against its Bavarian ruler. The Almanack de Gotha
informs us he is of the family of Wittolsbach. Surely this
must be an error of the press. Otho’s real family is that
of Wittol’s-head.
ESSAYS AND REMARKS.
Appearance.—Ml appearance finer than what you would sport if
you were Robinson Crusoe, with no Friday for a spectator, is not,
perhaps, mere ostentation. Other motives than vanity may induce a
man to keep up a preposterous or extravagant appearance; for he may
be a kind husband, and loth to grieve his wife. Or, although single,
he may have to get his living by customers, clients, or patients, who
are attracted by splendour as moths are allured by a candle. If he
were to reduce his appearance to reasonable plainness, they would think
his business was decreasing, and accordingly forsake him; for most
people are apt to be quick in getting out of the way of anybody who seems
going to the dogs. Many a poor and prudent person, whose calling is
genteel, is obliged to maintain a corresponding appearance, which
subjects him to be surcharged for Income-Tax; because if it were as
shabby as it ought to be, he would earn no income at all.
_ Be sure to cultivate a professional appearance if you are a prac-
tising member of any profession, unless you want to get rid of your
practice. Particularly observe this rule if your profession is the medi-
cal, and, for example, do not go about in a shooting-jacket and a cap
or a wide-awake ; for people employ you not so much for you to cure
them as to worship them, and they will be offended with your appear-
ance if they imagine it to show unconcern about their opinion amount-
ing to unconsciousness of dependence on their favour.
An excessively sumptuous appearance is not always so necessary for
purposes of business as people who are fond of display persuade them-
selves that it is. Beware of outshining those whom you wish to con-
ciliate, for they will either account for your magnificence by supposing
that you are very rich, and then they will envy you, and, what is worse,
perhaps want you to lend them money; or if they know that you are
not rich, they will impute jour display to vanity and folly, and, if they
are nettled by the superiority of your style to their own, they will
perhaps also regard it as the expression of insolence, which they will
resent.
A philosopher adapts his appearance to his circumstances if he can
do so without taking any trouble. If he is wealthy, his appearance, if
not splendid is at least decent; for it is easier to show good taste than
to affect bad, besides that anybody capable of affecting bad taste would
be an uncommon fool. A rich philosopher, then, will employ the best
tailor that he knows of; a poor one will be content to clothe himself
with the strongest slops he can buy. He will dress with a simple
view to cheapness and convenience, regardless of every other consider-
ation. His clothes will last him as long as they are comfortable, and,
for some considerable time before they are worn out, will give him an
appearance which will have the advantage of exempting him from the
annoyance of finding his meditations, during his walks, interrupted by
beggars.
It will also ensure him against being treated with obsequious or even
ordinary politeness by shopkeepers, railway-clerks and other servants,
except waiters, who know that civility costs nothing, whereas incivility
will forfeit the chance of a penny. It will, to be sure, render him liable
to be occasionally asked to hold a gentleman’s horse. _ When at length
he comes out in a new suit, the lower orders will cringe to him, and
the superior classes will treat him with some respect; and he will
sometimes find a change in people’s demeanour towards him produced
merely by the glossy appearance exhibited by an old hat, not too much
battered, that has been carefully wiped and put by after having been
drenched with rain.
“ How will it look ? ” is a woman’s question, which you may as well
consider when it does not imply, as it not seldom does, discontent with
an appearance as fine as you can afford. But women really do not
consider this question half so much as men fancy they do. They are
anxious that whatever they wear should look fashionable, but for the
most part do not care a pin if it also looks ridiculous, so that they are
in a great measure regardless of appearance, such as that presented by
Crinoline.
Tautology at Brighton.—Calling certain volunteer Lawyers, the
Devil’s Own, and The enemy.