DOI issue:
June 14, 1862
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16869#0244
236
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[June 14, 1862.
A FACT.
Swell. “Boy! Who’s Cab’s this?"
Boy. “What odds is that to you? Do you ’spose my Gov’n’r gives me Board Wages to tell who belongs to us?
LETTER EROM MR. PUNCH’S SON,
describing the late scene at dr. birch’s school, and asking his
father’s forgiveness for the youth’s share in the matter.
“My dear Papa
“ I hope that you are quite well I hope that you will not
be angry with me because it was not my fault and I am very
sorry lor what I have done but the Doctor has been so kind as to
forgive me and I hope that you will do the same but you will say what
is it my boy well I will tell you in a few words because 1 do not like to
think of my fault well you must know Master B. Dizzy who is cock
of our walk had been telling us so much about how he had chaffed the
masters in other halves and saying that the Doctor was too precious
cocky by half and wanted to be taken down a peg that we all thought
it would be a very fine thing to do, but when we came to the time
Master D said that we must go the whole hog if you please to excuse
the words and that we might look out for expulsions which was not
what we meant and I am not a bad boy my dear papa and I would not
grieve you by that but we had said so much that we felt it would be
sneaking not to do something so we said we would make a speech to
the Doctor and tell him that too much pocket money was stopped to
pay for broken windows and for fines for buying gunpowder and
Master Walpole who speaks very well and you should hear him
recite Cicero’s Orationes Selectee well we chose him to speak and he
said he would which made Master Dizzy very crabby because he
thought he ought to have been chosen but we thought that he would say
too much and be rude to the Doctor being a big boy and not liking the
Doctor which we do So when we came into school on Tuesday the
Doctor left his chair and before Master Walpole could speak the
Doctor ordered us all to be silent and he said that he had received our
letter for I forgot to tell you that we wrote down that we were going
to complain and before anybody spoke we had better hear him He
said that he was master of the nchool and master he meant to be so long
as he filled that chair and he owed no account to us but only to our
parents and that he did what he thought was right about money and
that he was not going to have us catching cold by having broken
windows round the house and as for gunpowder he had found there was
but one way of preventing that from being burned and what he said he
should stick to and if after saying that we kept to our plan of speaking
to him about it he should send us all home to our parents to ask them
whether they thought he was right or wrong Well my dear papa you
must know this made a good many boys cry and Master Walpole
said he had not meant anything disrespectful and that we all loved the
Doctor and only Master'Dizzy and Master Whiteside who is an
Irish boy and Very quarrelsome said we were sneaks and I think
Master Walpole will have to fight Master Dizzy very soon only the
head usher Mr. Derby says he will have no fights well my dear papa
we all cried out that we did not mean to be rude and the Doctor
laughed in his good natured way and said he was very glad to hear it
and so he would say no more but gave us a holiday to go to Epsom Eair
and a jolly day we had but I must tell you that when he went out of
the room we all went out after him, three hundred and sixty-six ol
us and hoorayed which pleased him very much and all is serene my
dear papa but I could not be happy till I had told you I must now
conclude so no more from
“ Your affectionate son
“ To Mr. Punch, Esq. “ Epaminondas Punch ”
The Wreath for Wrinkles.
“ If,” says our elegant contemporary, Le Follet, “ dowers are worn
as ornaments for the dress, those in the hair should, of course, be of the
same kind; for elderly ladies they can be intermixed with lace or
feathers.” Very well. If elderly ladies must wear flowers in their
hair, and would choose appropriate flowers, they should decorate it
with elder-flowers. The lace with which those flowers are intermixed
should be antique, and the only feathers to match are those of a goose.
The Height of Liberality.—Professor Holloway takes a box
of Morison’s Pills, and believing that he has been cured by them,
sends a testimonial to the proprietors.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[June 14, 1862.
A FACT.
Swell. “Boy! Who’s Cab’s this?"
Boy. “What odds is that to you? Do you ’spose my Gov’n’r gives me Board Wages to tell who belongs to us?
LETTER EROM MR. PUNCH’S SON,
describing the late scene at dr. birch’s school, and asking his
father’s forgiveness for the youth’s share in the matter.
“My dear Papa
“ I hope that you are quite well I hope that you will not
be angry with me because it was not my fault and I am very
sorry lor what I have done but the Doctor has been so kind as to
forgive me and I hope that you will do the same but you will say what
is it my boy well I will tell you in a few words because 1 do not like to
think of my fault well you must know Master B. Dizzy who is cock
of our walk had been telling us so much about how he had chaffed the
masters in other halves and saying that the Doctor was too precious
cocky by half and wanted to be taken down a peg that we all thought
it would be a very fine thing to do, but when we came to the time
Master D said that we must go the whole hog if you please to excuse
the words and that we might look out for expulsions which was not
what we meant and I am not a bad boy my dear papa and I would not
grieve you by that but we had said so much that we felt it would be
sneaking not to do something so we said we would make a speech to
the Doctor and tell him that too much pocket money was stopped to
pay for broken windows and for fines for buying gunpowder and
Master Walpole who speaks very well and you should hear him
recite Cicero’s Orationes Selectee well we chose him to speak and he
said he would which made Master Dizzy very crabby because he
thought he ought to have been chosen but we thought that he would say
too much and be rude to the Doctor being a big boy and not liking the
Doctor which we do So when we came into school on Tuesday the
Doctor left his chair and before Master Walpole could speak the
Doctor ordered us all to be silent and he said that he had received our
letter for I forgot to tell you that we wrote down that we were going
to complain and before anybody spoke we had better hear him He
said that he was master of the nchool and master he meant to be so long
as he filled that chair and he owed no account to us but only to our
parents and that he did what he thought was right about money and
that he was not going to have us catching cold by having broken
windows round the house and as for gunpowder he had found there was
but one way of preventing that from being burned and what he said he
should stick to and if after saying that we kept to our plan of speaking
to him about it he should send us all home to our parents to ask them
whether they thought he was right or wrong Well my dear papa you
must know this made a good many boys cry and Master Walpole
said he had not meant anything disrespectful and that we all loved the
Doctor and only Master'Dizzy and Master Whiteside who is an
Irish boy and Very quarrelsome said we were sneaks and I think
Master Walpole will have to fight Master Dizzy very soon only the
head usher Mr. Derby says he will have no fights well my dear papa
we all cried out that we did not mean to be rude and the Doctor
laughed in his good natured way and said he was very glad to hear it
and so he would say no more but gave us a holiday to go to Epsom Eair
and a jolly day we had but I must tell you that when he went out of
the room we all went out after him, three hundred and sixty-six ol
us and hoorayed which pleased him very much and all is serene my
dear papa but I could not be happy till I had told you I must now
conclude so no more from
“ Your affectionate son
“ To Mr. Punch, Esq. “ Epaminondas Punch ”
The Wreath for Wrinkles.
“ If,” says our elegant contemporary, Le Follet, “ dowers are worn
as ornaments for the dress, those in the hair should, of course, be of the
same kind; for elderly ladies they can be intermixed with lace or
feathers.” Very well. If elderly ladies must wear flowers in their
hair, and would choose appropriate flowers, they should decorate it
with elder-flowers. The lace with which those flowers are intermixed
should be antique, and the only feathers to match are those of a goose.
The Height of Liberality.—Professor Holloway takes a box
of Morison’s Pills, and believing that he has been cured by them,
sends a testimonial to the proprietors.