DOI Heft:
[July] 11, 1862
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16870#0019
January 11, 1862.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
11
ENTERTAINMENT FOR AN ORGAN-GRINDING RUFFIAN.
Disturbing a Street and Frightening a Servant Girl into Fits, for which he has
to fay 10s. only.—(See Police Report, Jan. 1, 1862.)
A PRIZE INCOME-TAX FOR 1862.
Why should the Exhibition of 1862 be limited
to material articles ? If it included political
and social inventions, it would conduce to the
promotion of objects at least as important
as Art and Manufacture. Contributions of a
moral and scientific character would have the
great recommendation of taking up very little
room.
Whilst there is time, therefore, let the world
be advertised that the Exhibition will be open
to receive things of that sort; constitutions,
forms of government, laws, statutes, and so
forth.
In particular, let Europe be invited to send
in schemes of taxation framed on the principle
of equal and insensible pressure,, so as to incom-
mode everybody as little as possible, and to cheat
nobody at all.
A prize might be founded by subscription
to reward the producer of an equitable Income-
Tax, or, if that is impossible, some other tax
which shall be a substitute for that. Is
there no financier, arithmetician, or mathema-
tician on the face of this earth able to solve
the problem of taxing everybody in proportion to
his means ?
Even if a war with America should be averted,
the preparations for the event of that war already
made will probably entail upon us some aggrava-
tion of the national curse under which we are
assured by eminent authorities that we shall
have to groan hopelessly for ever. We might
as well at least have the load of everlasting-
calamity impartially distributed, and rendered
as tolerable as such an eternal bore can any-
how be.
THE JONATHAN LUNACY CASE.
The inquiry was resumed tins morning. Mr. Pam, Q.C., instructed
by Mr. Punch, appearing for the Bull family, whilst Mr. Bright
watched the case for the alleged lunatic.
The first witness called was Mrs. Bull, examined by Mr. Pam :
said she had known Mr. Jonathan for many years. He used to shout
about the house, swear a great deal, and make a noise like an ophicleide
She considered, him decidedly incapable of managing his own affairs.
He was fond of assuming military rank and would call himself Colonel
Jonathan, General Jonathan, and so on. Could not give much
information respecting Mr. Jonathan’s marriage with Miss Virginia
South; but knew that at present there were domestic quarrels. The
lady wished for a separation, but Mr. Jonathan would not hear of it,
and got dreadfully excited whenever the subject was alluded to.
One ol his fancies was to dress like a policeman, and in this disguise
he was often very mischievous. On several occasions he has torn the
cotton dress witness was in the habit of wearing off her back, and using
very bad language, has sworn he would whip her. Recently he had
dressed himself up like a sort of sea-captain, and taken into custody
two friends of Miss V. South’s, who were coming on a visit to wit-
ness. Could not say that she had seen him drunk, but he was very
fond of tippling (or liquoring as he called it), and would threaten to
shoot any one who declined to drink with him. He would sing snatches
of nigger melodies, such as Old Ban Tucker, and finish by cutting at a
piece of stick he always carried in his pocket.
The next witness called was Mons. Louis, examined by Mr. Punch.
“ I keep a large pension and garnished lodgings. I have known
Mr. Jonathan since many years. I should say that he was what we
call timbre. I have had the habitude of furnishing him with wine.
He seems to not know the use of money. He sometimes will fling his
dollars about, and then he will borrow large sums He thinks
himself the richest proprietaire in the world. He has quarrelled with
his dear half, Mrs. Jonathan, nSe Virginie South, and is in a
great anger because Madame Bull will not interfere in his menage
Two milords, Sir Worldly and Sir Ebony, have had the happy
idea to make the peace between M. Jonathan and Madame Bull-
but M. Jonathan will have no arbitration, no more as for that will
Madame B. M. Jonathan has shown himself of great politeness
towards me lately, but I regard him as a great silly, and if I were in
the place of Madame Bull, I would shut him up.”
The inquiry was again adjourned.
A THUMB FOR A TRIFLE.
If the proverb, “ Set a thief to catch a thief” is true, we may, with
equal truth perhaps, say “ Set a ruffian to collar a ruffian.” In that
case the prisoner named in the subjoined police-report is a very fit
person for the office which he aspires to undertake:—
“ Hammersmith.—James Shee, a young Irish labourer, who it was stated is a
candidate for the police, was charged with committing a savage assault.
‘‘ It appeared from the evidence that on the night of Saturday, the 14th ult., the
complainant, William Kenny, and some friends were together at the bar of the
George public-house, in the Broadway. The prisoner began to quarrel with a man
named Maloney, upon which the complainant went up and endeavoured to pacify
the disputants. On his doing so, the prisoner caught hold of the complainant’s
thumb between his teeth and bit the top completely off. It was found necessary at
the West London Hospital to amputate the thumb at the first joint.
“ Mr. Ingham sentenced the prisoner to a fine of &i and 6s. costs, or to four
weeks’ imprisonment, with hard labour.
“ The prisoner was locked up in default.”
But really thumbs are very moderate at the rate of only £4 6s., or
four weeks at the treadmill. A pocket handkerchief could hardly have
been appraised at a lower rate, bad Mr. Shee filched oue instead of
biting a man’s thumb off. He not only. bites off a thumb like a dog,
but lie does it dog-cheap. Some peculiarity in this case not reported
must be supposed to account for the Magistrate’s exceedingly low
valuation of the member by which the human band is distinguished
from that of the monkey, or else his Worship computed the cost of that
member by a most inadequate rule of thumb.
Questions in Lunacy Cases
Q. Did the Party ever drive an Engine on the Eastern Counties Line ?
A. I don’t know.
Q. Did be ever travel on that line if he could help it P
A. Yes, he did.
Judge. Gentlemen, the lunacy is clearly made out.
All is Serene.
The latest telegram from Bombay has two announcements:—
“ Nana Sahib has been detected and captured.”
“ Hemp is in demand.”
The news seems exceedingly satisfactory, and is, we hope, authentic.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
11
ENTERTAINMENT FOR AN ORGAN-GRINDING RUFFIAN.
Disturbing a Street and Frightening a Servant Girl into Fits, for which he has
to fay 10s. only.—(See Police Report, Jan. 1, 1862.)
A PRIZE INCOME-TAX FOR 1862.
Why should the Exhibition of 1862 be limited
to material articles ? If it included political
and social inventions, it would conduce to the
promotion of objects at least as important
as Art and Manufacture. Contributions of a
moral and scientific character would have the
great recommendation of taking up very little
room.
Whilst there is time, therefore, let the world
be advertised that the Exhibition will be open
to receive things of that sort; constitutions,
forms of government, laws, statutes, and so
forth.
In particular, let Europe be invited to send
in schemes of taxation framed on the principle
of equal and insensible pressure,, so as to incom-
mode everybody as little as possible, and to cheat
nobody at all.
A prize might be founded by subscription
to reward the producer of an equitable Income-
Tax, or, if that is impossible, some other tax
which shall be a substitute for that. Is
there no financier, arithmetician, or mathema-
tician on the face of this earth able to solve
the problem of taxing everybody in proportion to
his means ?
Even if a war with America should be averted,
the preparations for the event of that war already
made will probably entail upon us some aggrava-
tion of the national curse under which we are
assured by eminent authorities that we shall
have to groan hopelessly for ever. We might
as well at least have the load of everlasting-
calamity impartially distributed, and rendered
as tolerable as such an eternal bore can any-
how be.
THE JONATHAN LUNACY CASE.
The inquiry was resumed tins morning. Mr. Pam, Q.C., instructed
by Mr. Punch, appearing for the Bull family, whilst Mr. Bright
watched the case for the alleged lunatic.
The first witness called was Mrs. Bull, examined by Mr. Pam :
said she had known Mr. Jonathan for many years. He used to shout
about the house, swear a great deal, and make a noise like an ophicleide
She considered, him decidedly incapable of managing his own affairs.
He was fond of assuming military rank and would call himself Colonel
Jonathan, General Jonathan, and so on. Could not give much
information respecting Mr. Jonathan’s marriage with Miss Virginia
South; but knew that at present there were domestic quarrels. The
lady wished for a separation, but Mr. Jonathan would not hear of it,
and got dreadfully excited whenever the subject was alluded to.
One ol his fancies was to dress like a policeman, and in this disguise
he was often very mischievous. On several occasions he has torn the
cotton dress witness was in the habit of wearing off her back, and using
very bad language, has sworn he would whip her. Recently he had
dressed himself up like a sort of sea-captain, and taken into custody
two friends of Miss V. South’s, who were coming on a visit to wit-
ness. Could not say that she had seen him drunk, but he was very
fond of tippling (or liquoring as he called it), and would threaten to
shoot any one who declined to drink with him. He would sing snatches
of nigger melodies, such as Old Ban Tucker, and finish by cutting at a
piece of stick he always carried in his pocket.
The next witness called was Mons. Louis, examined by Mr. Punch.
“ I keep a large pension and garnished lodgings. I have known
Mr. Jonathan since many years. I should say that he was what we
call timbre. I have had the habitude of furnishing him with wine.
He seems to not know the use of money. He sometimes will fling his
dollars about, and then he will borrow large sums He thinks
himself the richest proprietaire in the world. He has quarrelled with
his dear half, Mrs. Jonathan, nSe Virginie South, and is in a
great anger because Madame Bull will not interfere in his menage
Two milords, Sir Worldly and Sir Ebony, have had the happy
idea to make the peace between M. Jonathan and Madame Bull-
but M. Jonathan will have no arbitration, no more as for that will
Madame B. M. Jonathan has shown himself of great politeness
towards me lately, but I regard him as a great silly, and if I were in
the place of Madame Bull, I would shut him up.”
The inquiry was again adjourned.
A THUMB FOR A TRIFLE.
If the proverb, “ Set a thief to catch a thief” is true, we may, with
equal truth perhaps, say “ Set a ruffian to collar a ruffian.” In that
case the prisoner named in the subjoined police-report is a very fit
person for the office which he aspires to undertake:—
“ Hammersmith.—James Shee, a young Irish labourer, who it was stated is a
candidate for the police, was charged with committing a savage assault.
‘‘ It appeared from the evidence that on the night of Saturday, the 14th ult., the
complainant, William Kenny, and some friends were together at the bar of the
George public-house, in the Broadway. The prisoner began to quarrel with a man
named Maloney, upon which the complainant went up and endeavoured to pacify
the disputants. On his doing so, the prisoner caught hold of the complainant’s
thumb between his teeth and bit the top completely off. It was found necessary at
the West London Hospital to amputate the thumb at the first joint.
“ Mr. Ingham sentenced the prisoner to a fine of &i and 6s. costs, or to four
weeks’ imprisonment, with hard labour.
“ The prisoner was locked up in default.”
But really thumbs are very moderate at the rate of only £4 6s., or
four weeks at the treadmill. A pocket handkerchief could hardly have
been appraised at a lower rate, bad Mr. Shee filched oue instead of
biting a man’s thumb off. He not only. bites off a thumb like a dog,
but lie does it dog-cheap. Some peculiarity in this case not reported
must be supposed to account for the Magistrate’s exceedingly low
valuation of the member by which the human band is distinguished
from that of the monkey, or else his Worship computed the cost of that
member by a most inadequate rule of thumb.
Questions in Lunacy Cases
Q. Did the Party ever drive an Engine on the Eastern Counties Line ?
A. I don’t know.
Q. Did be ever travel on that line if he could help it P
A. Yes, he did.
Judge. Gentlemen, the lunacy is clearly made out.
All is Serene.
The latest telegram from Bombay has two announcements:—
“ Nana Sahib has been detected and captured.”
“ Hemp is in demand.”
The news seems exceedingly satisfactory, and is, we hope, authentic.