DOI Heft:
October 18, 1862
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16870#0164
CUTTING-VERY.
“ So Mary Jane, your Policeman has been taken off this beat/ Ms you’re fond of Low Company, you had better ask the new ’un to Supper.'
SYKES ON THE SPIKES.
It is extremely easy to find fault with people, who have done much
lor not doing more, but Punch has seldom seen a case in which this
pleasing duty was more coolly performed than by Colonel Sykes at
the British Institution. The discourse was on Mk. Glaishek’s
balloon ascents, and that gentleman had modestly detailed his per-
formance with Mil. Coxwell, and how they had been almost frozen
to death at a height of six miles, beyond which he did not believe it,
safe to ascend. “Oh, bother,” says Colonel Sykes, “people may go
up at least seven miles and a half. You two fellows may have felt cold,
perhaps, but then I dare say you’re a chilly lot. Don’t limit folks by
your own personal feelings.” Hearing this. Punch naturally began to
consider who the brave Sykes was, and remembered that he was a
gentleman of 72, who had been a gallant soldier in India, variously dis-
tinguished in civil matters, and who sat for Aberdeen. But Mr. Lunch
was unable to discover any particular motive for the Colonel’s scoff at the
aeronauts, until, looking to Dod, the former read, “ Served gratuitously
as a Koyal Commissioner in Lunacy.” A gentleman who would attend
to lunatic matters for nothing may be permitted wild ideas about the
ease of approaching the moon.
The American Chess-Players.
Although of conquest Yankee North despairs,
His brain for some expedient wild he racks.
And thinks that having failed on the white squares,
He can’t do worse by moving on the Blacks.
MONSIEUR JACK KETCH, HOMME DE LETTRES.
The Erencli are great devourers oi Memoires, we are well aware, but
we little suspected that their taste would ever sink so low as to devour
Les Memoires de Mons. Sanson. The Sansons have held in France
the hereditary post of public executioner for ages past. Long before
the Reign of Terror, the Calcraet of France was represented by a
Sanson. It would seem, however, that business has lately been so
bad—the stereotyped tag of circonstances attenuantes which a French
jury almost invariably appends to its verdict, even in the most flagrant
cases, has robbed the executioner of so many of his dread perquisites—
i hat the lamily has in despair been compelled to send in its r signation.
Distress has driven the Sansons to adopt as their motto “Live and
let Live; ” and hence, by way of eking out a living, the publication of
these revolting memoirs. At one time we had our Newgate school of
literature that made heroes ol thieves and highwaymen. In the like
manner, it would seem that the literature of France, after frequenting
the lowest of low haunts, and revelling in every possible profligacy and
vice, has at last gone to the gallows. It has received its final coup de
grace horn the guillotine. Does it not appear oidy a just gradation,
and fit termination, iu scaling the ladder of immorality, that writers
like Dumas./i/s and the authors of Fanny and Madame de Bovary, should
be succeeded by a Sanson ? It is the crowning degradation. The last,
act ol justice that Mons. Sanson, before retiring from office, should
have performed, ought to have been to burn his own Memoires.
Soon Done with Him.
The following advertisement appears in the Times, and admits of the
promptest answer:—
TIME AND CAPITAL.—A gentleman, having £500 at his command,
is anxious to employ that and his time advantageously. Address, &e.
Let him call at 85, Fleet Street, hand the £500 to the publisher,
receive in return the back volumes of Punch, and occupy himself in
reading those books until the end of what will thus be made a happy life.
A QUESTION EOB, CATTLE CLUBS.
A Farmer, in the neighbourhood of Lyons is said to have discovered
an expeditious method of fattening cattle, which consists in giving them
cod-liver oil. Perhaps the good done by this substance in phthisis
pulmonalis is more apparent than real; but experience will show
whether its administration tends to promote or arrest the consumotion
of butcher’s meat.
“ So Mary Jane, your Policeman has been taken off this beat/ Ms you’re fond of Low Company, you had better ask the new ’un to Supper.'
SYKES ON THE SPIKES.
It is extremely easy to find fault with people, who have done much
lor not doing more, but Punch has seldom seen a case in which this
pleasing duty was more coolly performed than by Colonel Sykes at
the British Institution. The discourse was on Mk. Glaishek’s
balloon ascents, and that gentleman had modestly detailed his per-
formance with Mil. Coxwell, and how they had been almost frozen
to death at a height of six miles, beyond which he did not believe it,
safe to ascend. “Oh, bother,” says Colonel Sykes, “people may go
up at least seven miles and a half. You two fellows may have felt cold,
perhaps, but then I dare say you’re a chilly lot. Don’t limit folks by
your own personal feelings.” Hearing this. Punch naturally began to
consider who the brave Sykes was, and remembered that he was a
gentleman of 72, who had been a gallant soldier in India, variously dis-
tinguished in civil matters, and who sat for Aberdeen. But Mr. Lunch
was unable to discover any particular motive for the Colonel’s scoff at the
aeronauts, until, looking to Dod, the former read, “ Served gratuitously
as a Koyal Commissioner in Lunacy.” A gentleman who would attend
to lunatic matters for nothing may be permitted wild ideas about the
ease of approaching the moon.
The American Chess-Players.
Although of conquest Yankee North despairs,
His brain for some expedient wild he racks.
And thinks that having failed on the white squares,
He can’t do worse by moving on the Blacks.
MONSIEUR JACK KETCH, HOMME DE LETTRES.
The Erencli are great devourers oi Memoires, we are well aware, but
we little suspected that their taste would ever sink so low as to devour
Les Memoires de Mons. Sanson. The Sansons have held in France
the hereditary post of public executioner for ages past. Long before
the Reign of Terror, the Calcraet of France was represented by a
Sanson. It would seem, however, that business has lately been so
bad—the stereotyped tag of circonstances attenuantes which a French
jury almost invariably appends to its verdict, even in the most flagrant
cases, has robbed the executioner of so many of his dread perquisites—
i hat the lamily has in despair been compelled to send in its r signation.
Distress has driven the Sansons to adopt as their motto “Live and
let Live; ” and hence, by way of eking out a living, the publication of
these revolting memoirs. At one time we had our Newgate school of
literature that made heroes ol thieves and highwaymen. In the like
manner, it would seem that the literature of France, after frequenting
the lowest of low haunts, and revelling in every possible profligacy and
vice, has at last gone to the gallows. It has received its final coup de
grace horn the guillotine. Does it not appear oidy a just gradation,
and fit termination, iu scaling the ladder of immorality, that writers
like Dumas./i/s and the authors of Fanny and Madame de Bovary, should
be succeeded by a Sanson ? It is the crowning degradation. The last,
act ol justice that Mons. Sanson, before retiring from office, should
have performed, ought to have been to burn his own Memoires.
Soon Done with Him.
The following advertisement appears in the Times, and admits of the
promptest answer:—
TIME AND CAPITAL.—A gentleman, having £500 at his command,
is anxious to employ that and his time advantageously. Address, &e.
Let him call at 85, Fleet Street, hand the £500 to the publisher,
receive in return the back volumes of Punch, and occupy himself in
reading those books until the end of what will thus be made a happy life.
A QUESTION EOB, CATTLE CLUBS.
A Farmer, in the neighbourhood of Lyons is said to have discovered
an expeditious method of fattening cattle, which consists in giving them
cod-liver oil. Perhaps the good done by this substance in phthisis
pulmonalis is more apparent than real; but experience will show
whether its administration tends to promote or arrest the consumotion
of butcher’s meat.