Punch (43.1862)

December 13, 1862.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 237 ,

PROTECTION FOR PEDESTRIANS.

If, in spite of penal servitude, these street outrages continue, it is clear that
we must arm ourselves against garotting ruffians, and that our weapons tor the
warfare must consist of something more than a cane or an umbrella, a doorkey or a
toothpick. In the savage days when London was infested by the Mohawks, gentle-
men wore swords, and knew how to use ihern : and clearly some such fashion as
this must be revived, if we would escape being either maimed or murdered. Metal
collars with long spikes must be worn instead of paper ones, and great coats made
a-la-porcupine must be likewise introduced, w'itk spring daggers at the elbows and
sharp spikes all up the back, ready to start out and stab the Thugs who may attack
us. The Anti-Garotte suit will be advertised by tailors, and gentlemen when
dressing for suburban eveidng parties will be advised to make a trial of Snip and
Co.’s steel helmet, or recommended to provide themselves with Snooks’s coat of
mail. Nobody will deem his costume as complete without having a life preserver
or stout bludgeon to his wrist, and belting round his waist a cutlass or a broad-
sword. Tailors will turn armourers and swordmakers and gunsmiths ; and to their
question of “ Any other article to-day Sir F ” they will add the wish that you would
try their razor bowie-knives, or will beg you just to look at their bayonet-
revolvers, or will say they have invented a sweet thing in the bludgeon way and the
neatest pair of knuckle-dusters that have yet come out.

Really from the outrages which have been lately perpetrated, one might think
that one was living now in London as it used to be a hundred, years ago : and one
expects to see the managers of theatres and concert-rooms give notice as of old,
that stout, fellows armed with cudgels will be in waiting nightly, to escort such of
the audience as wish it to their homes.

dimensions, according to the authority above cited, are
“ from 11 to 15 metres wide on the water line, and two
metres deep,” at present; “ but a casual simoom may at any
time reclose the thoroughfare.” The compulsory toiffi of
the Danaides, and the penal servitude of the demon whom
the magician set to work in making ropes of sand appear
to have found their match in the unproductive labour of
those pitiable fellahs who are so pitilessly fagged at the
requisition of M. Lesseps, for no good.

THE POOL GAROTTER.

The poor Garotter, fierce, and rude.

How shall we soften that man’s mind,
Reclaim him to a milder mood,

And teach him to be good and kind ?

Oh ! let us send him to a place.

Of refuge, not to call it gaol,

And treat with gentleness his case,

Tor fear severity might fail.

We ’ll clothe him warm, and feed him well.

If not on sausages and tripe,

Though against beer we close his cell,

.And wean him from his nasty pipe :

Give him good books and tracts to read,

And teach him texts on texts to string,
Repeat his prayers, recite his creed.

And psalms and hymns with unction sing.

We ’ll practise him in heaving sighs
Remorseful, and compunctious groans.

We ’ll school him to upturn his eyes,

In going on his marrowbones,

To use the pocket-handkerchief.

Snuffle, and blow his nose, and weep,

And trust we’ve changed this blessed thief
Out of a wolf into a sheep.

In healthy, not excessive, toil.

His streugth we ’ll use him to exert.

His easy labour shall not spoil

His hands; for he must not be hurt.

And oh! on no account the Cat
Across his shoulders would we lay.

Score naughty soldiers’ backs with that;

The poor Garotter never flay.

Corrected, chastened, and subdued,
Converted, rendered meek and mild.
Repentant, humbled and renewed.

In brawny form a little child,

The period of his sentence o’er
Not half, we’ll pity and forgive.

Bidding him go and rob no more,

But like a Saint in future live.

Ah! what if he resume the track
Of crime, which he before had trod.

And if again we have him back,

Within a month or so, in Quod F
Then, how are we, whose hearts have gushed
Towards this brute, with overflow,

To cure the throat his gripe has crushed.

Or cranium fractured with his blow F

TO GAROTTERS.—“ CAVE TOMKINS.”

INNOCENT OR GUILTY F

Tomkins (log.). “ Let 'em try it on again, that's all.”

A Street Dialogue.

EGYPTIAN BONDAGE.

In a communication from Alexandria giving an account of the progress, if that
is a proper expression, of M. Lesseps’s Suez . Canal, the number of labourers
employed on that desperate undertaking is estimated at 40,000 fellahs; and, we
are toid:—

“ These labourers are paid by piecework under their respective sheikhs. Government collects
and conveys the men to the spot, punishing all fugitives with hard labour in chains, which
proves that the service is not voluntary.”

Poor fellahs! Part of so little of the cutting as has been already made,
extends through a tract of drift-sand, and amounts to a ditch, whereof the

Brown. Ah, Jones, how de doo F So Sir George Grey
wouldn’t hang that sweep, eh F

Jones. No, certainly not. Sir George believed that he
didn’t kill his wife.

Brown. But he has given him penal servitude for life.

Jones ’. Well, what thenf

Brown. Why—if you put it that way—to be sure I’m a
bachelor and don’t profess to be a judge of such matters,
—but doesn’t it seem to be a good deal to give a fellow
for not killing his wife.

Jones. You must settle that with Sir George Grey.

[Extf.

Vol. 43.

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