DOI issue:
August 30, 1862
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16870#0091
August 30, 1862.]
83
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Fond Mother (alluding to the little Prodigy in the pork-pie hat, who will insist on frater-
nising with Jones). “ Bless her little heart, she is so fond of boys, she is."
[No wonder Jones and his cigar disagree after that!
ATROCITIES OF THE LAW
The Times, with good reason, traces Hod pell’s
career of crime to the original moral error com-
mitted by his father in marrying his mother too
late. That error, however, might have been
rectified but for the law which prevented old
Koupell from repairing it. The law of Scot-
land would have enabled hifn to make the neces-
sary reparation. That law works well there,
and there is nothing to forbid its establishment
in England but the pigheadedness which cries
Nolumus leges Anglice mutari, right or wrong,
and the abstract love of injustice which has re-
sisted so many reforms, which taxes earnings
at the same rate as interest, and empowers a
laudlord whose rent is unpaid to seize the goods
of his tenant’s lodger.
Evident, Per Se.
Would Mr. Cowper make a good Chancellor
of the Exchequer ?
Certainly.
What makes you think so P
Because he would always be able to make both
ends meet.
How so ?
Because he never opens his mouth without
putting his foot in it.
Ah!
A Heal Blockade.—That which is keeping
patriots in America.
A Paper Blockade.—That which is keeping
truths out of America.
NEWS AT LAST FROM AMERICA.
From a recent number of the New York Herald, we take the Allowing
astounding piece of intelligence :—
They (the American people) know that when this rebellion began the aristocrats
of England took advantage of the chance to destroy us, and joined heart and hand
with the slaveholding rebels. They know that this rebellion was bom in Exeter
Hall, nurtured by the English aristocracy, armed from English arsenals, and sup-
ported by English sympathy and assistance.”
This is the first genuine bit of news we have received from America
since the war broke out. It is all news, for we must confess that every
item it alludes to is to us completely new—so much so, that if it had
not been for the kindness of the New York Herald, we probably never
should have heard a word about it. For the future, we shall rely on
I American papers only for our supply of English intelligence. They con-
tain a great deal more than our stupid hum-drum home-grown journals,
that slavishly restrict themselves to the truth. How true it is that one
must go abroad to learn the news ! We wish that our Scotch-American
iriend, the Herald, had carried its kindness a little further. We should
like to have been furnished with the names of these same “ aristocrats
of England,” who are so anxious to “destroy” the Northerners, and it
would also have pleased us to have been told who are the same “ rebels ”
that they are-accused of being joined “beast andhaud” with; for it
strikes us that their hands and hearts, to be able tc stretch so far, must
have properties of expansion not less elastic than the principles of truth
such as are generally observed in an American newspaper-office, like the
one we have gratefully quoted from above. Other interesting particu-
lars are similarly wanting, the absence of which leaves the information
sadly incomplete. Why not have let us into the secret as to who were
the nurses and anxious parents who assisted at Exeter Hall at the birth
of the above-mentioned “ rebellion ? ” Exeter Hall has many wicked,
reprehensible things to answer for, but we little suspected that anything
could be laid at its doors that was half so monstrous ns the civil war
that is at present casting a blot on America almost as black as that of
slavery itself 1 Then, who are the members of “ the English aristocracy,”
we are anxious to learn, who so fondly nurtured this rebellion P Out of
justice to the House of Lords, their names should not be kept unre-
vealed, any more than “the English arsenals,” which supplied the
arms, should be shielded from public obloquy. The information might
be pointedly conveyed through the medium of a Who killed Cock Robin ?
ballad, and such a poetic form would admit of the additional richness of
illustration. In some future edition, we hope that Mr. Gordon
Bennett will fill up these disappointing lacunes, and we will promise
him that they will produce in England an effect fully equal to that, of
any sensation paragraph that was ever spiced up at New York to
meet a depraved appetite in his highly-seasoned columns.
We trust these omissions will shortly be supplied, as we should be
sorry to look upon the above startling information as having no more
value or reliability attached to it than if it were a common Government
despatch, or a war bulletin, or “Another Glorious Victory” con-
cocted in some back-office in the Broadway. In addition to the other
calamities inflicted on the country by the war, we hope that the sound
of the cannon has not startled the Truth out of America. The next
mail will bring us comforting assurance that she is still tarrying yet
awhile in the Editor’s room of the New York Herald.
SOME GOOD ACTING.
A Good Man struggling with difficulties is said by the ancients to be a
sight the gods loved. It served such ill-natured deities right to be
abolished. But what shall be said of the sight of a good Woman in such
a condition P Not only the gods of our time, but the pit and boxes also,
revel in the spectacle. Mr. Punch owns to having enjoyed it also, and
mentions the St. James’s Theatre as the locale, and Mrs. Frank
Matthews as the Woman. Go and see her. She has been fitted, and
very dexterously, from a French store-house, with a part in which a
woman’s gallant struggle against a wife’s sacred duty ot submission, is
so set out, that, although the accident which gives the rebellious female
a temporary triumph brings disaster tp her innocent lord, you cannot
grudge her the victorious innings for which she has worked so well, and
you are with her, even in the moment when the truth comes out and
she is repentant—or as repentant as a defeated and therefore injured
woman can be. The contest for mastery is well waged, and the majestic
and elaborate eloquence of her spouse, if it does not silence her, at least
keeps her in check—but in an evil moment he becomes love’s ambassador
for a peccant friend—and the battle is given to the hands of his wife.
It is worth going to the play for the sake of hearing one speech of
intensely condensed vindictiveness. “That you were a Brute, Mr.
Kerr Mudgeon, I have long known. That your personal appearance
is the reverse of attractive is beyond dispute. But I did—yes—I did
believe that you had Morals.” Mr. Punch has not the faintest hesitation
in penning a paragraph wliieh is not only a Puff, but meant to be, and
designed to send people to see Bristol Diamonds, and with the same
unshrinking courage he begs to return thanks to Mrs. Frank, and to
her brave but unfortunate husband, for some of the best comic acting
he has seen for many a night. He has praised Endymion before, but a
silvery vision of Diana, or Miss Herbert, or both, has been gliding
through his dreams, and rendering them extra-beatific.
83
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Fond Mother (alluding to the little Prodigy in the pork-pie hat, who will insist on frater-
nising with Jones). “ Bless her little heart, she is so fond of boys, she is."
[No wonder Jones and his cigar disagree after that!
ATROCITIES OF THE LAW
The Times, with good reason, traces Hod pell’s
career of crime to the original moral error com-
mitted by his father in marrying his mother too
late. That error, however, might have been
rectified but for the law which prevented old
Koupell from repairing it. The law of Scot-
land would have enabled hifn to make the neces-
sary reparation. That law works well there,
and there is nothing to forbid its establishment
in England but the pigheadedness which cries
Nolumus leges Anglice mutari, right or wrong,
and the abstract love of injustice which has re-
sisted so many reforms, which taxes earnings
at the same rate as interest, and empowers a
laudlord whose rent is unpaid to seize the goods
of his tenant’s lodger.
Evident, Per Se.
Would Mr. Cowper make a good Chancellor
of the Exchequer ?
Certainly.
What makes you think so P
Because he would always be able to make both
ends meet.
How so ?
Because he never opens his mouth without
putting his foot in it.
Ah!
A Heal Blockade.—That which is keeping
patriots in America.
A Paper Blockade.—That which is keeping
truths out of America.
NEWS AT LAST FROM AMERICA.
From a recent number of the New York Herald, we take the Allowing
astounding piece of intelligence :—
They (the American people) know that when this rebellion began the aristocrats
of England took advantage of the chance to destroy us, and joined heart and hand
with the slaveholding rebels. They know that this rebellion was bom in Exeter
Hall, nurtured by the English aristocracy, armed from English arsenals, and sup-
ported by English sympathy and assistance.”
This is the first genuine bit of news we have received from America
since the war broke out. It is all news, for we must confess that every
item it alludes to is to us completely new—so much so, that if it had
not been for the kindness of the New York Herald, we probably never
should have heard a word about it. For the future, we shall rely on
I American papers only for our supply of English intelligence. They con-
tain a great deal more than our stupid hum-drum home-grown journals,
that slavishly restrict themselves to the truth. How true it is that one
must go abroad to learn the news ! We wish that our Scotch-American
iriend, the Herald, had carried its kindness a little further. We should
like to have been furnished with the names of these same “ aristocrats
of England,” who are so anxious to “destroy” the Northerners, and it
would also have pleased us to have been told who are the same “ rebels ”
that they are-accused of being joined “beast andhaud” with; for it
strikes us that their hands and hearts, to be able tc stretch so far, must
have properties of expansion not less elastic than the principles of truth
such as are generally observed in an American newspaper-office, like the
one we have gratefully quoted from above. Other interesting particu-
lars are similarly wanting, the absence of which leaves the information
sadly incomplete. Why not have let us into the secret as to who were
the nurses and anxious parents who assisted at Exeter Hall at the birth
of the above-mentioned “ rebellion ? ” Exeter Hall has many wicked,
reprehensible things to answer for, but we little suspected that anything
could be laid at its doors that was half so monstrous ns the civil war
that is at present casting a blot on America almost as black as that of
slavery itself 1 Then, who are the members of “ the English aristocracy,”
we are anxious to learn, who so fondly nurtured this rebellion P Out of
justice to the House of Lords, their names should not be kept unre-
vealed, any more than “the English arsenals,” which supplied the
arms, should be shielded from public obloquy. The information might
be pointedly conveyed through the medium of a Who killed Cock Robin ?
ballad, and such a poetic form would admit of the additional richness of
illustration. In some future edition, we hope that Mr. Gordon
Bennett will fill up these disappointing lacunes, and we will promise
him that they will produce in England an effect fully equal to that, of
any sensation paragraph that was ever spiced up at New York to
meet a depraved appetite in his highly-seasoned columns.
We trust these omissions will shortly be supplied, as we should be
sorry to look upon the above startling information as having no more
value or reliability attached to it than if it were a common Government
despatch, or a war bulletin, or “Another Glorious Victory” con-
cocted in some back-office in the Broadway. In addition to the other
calamities inflicted on the country by the war, we hope that the sound
of the cannon has not startled the Truth out of America. The next
mail will bring us comforting assurance that she is still tarrying yet
awhile in the Editor’s room of the New York Herald.
SOME GOOD ACTING.
A Good Man struggling with difficulties is said by the ancients to be a
sight the gods loved. It served such ill-natured deities right to be
abolished. But what shall be said of the sight of a good Woman in such
a condition P Not only the gods of our time, but the pit and boxes also,
revel in the spectacle. Mr. Punch owns to having enjoyed it also, and
mentions the St. James’s Theatre as the locale, and Mrs. Frank
Matthews as the Woman. Go and see her. She has been fitted, and
very dexterously, from a French store-house, with a part in which a
woman’s gallant struggle against a wife’s sacred duty ot submission, is
so set out, that, although the accident which gives the rebellious female
a temporary triumph brings disaster tp her innocent lord, you cannot
grudge her the victorious innings for which she has worked so well, and
you are with her, even in the moment when the truth comes out and
she is repentant—or as repentant as a defeated and therefore injured
woman can be. The contest for mastery is well waged, and the majestic
and elaborate eloquence of her spouse, if it does not silence her, at least
keeps her in check—but in an evil moment he becomes love’s ambassador
for a peccant friend—and the battle is given to the hands of his wife.
It is worth going to the play for the sake of hearing one speech of
intensely condensed vindictiveness. “That you were a Brute, Mr.
Kerr Mudgeon, I have long known. That your personal appearance
is the reverse of attractive is beyond dispute. But I did—yes—I did
believe that you had Morals.” Mr. Punch has not the faintest hesitation
in penning a paragraph wliieh is not only a Puff, but meant to be, and
designed to send people to see Bristol Diamonds, and with the same
unshrinking courage he begs to return thanks to Mrs. Frank, and to
her brave but unfortunate husband, for some of the best comic acting
he has seen for many a night. He has praised Endymion before, but a
silvery vision of Diana, or Miss Herbert, or both, has been gliding
through his dreams, and rendering them extra-beatific.