DOI issue:
August 30, 1862
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16870#0092
84
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 30, 1862.
A MANUFACTURED ARTICLE.
If it had been red ink now—Sanguinary Mary—ha!
improve, he will improve.
Number 2. This comes from Manchester, and in the corner
Come, Public, this is
the slack season, and
turn about is fair
play. Mr. Punch has
been working joyfully
for you all the year,
and now the Immor-
tal wants to sit on
the beach and throw
harmless stones into
smiling waves. Sup-
pose you work fur
him a little. You are
always sending him
tons of contributions
and suggestions (by
reason whereof seven
of his buttermen have
successively retired
with large fortunes),
and now he will over-
haul a handful of the
day’s letters from you.
This is the first that
comes to hand :—
“Sir,—I send for the
first time a contribution
to your journal: ‘ His-
tory of England. ’—A
schoolboy whilst writing
out the reign of Mary
the First, made a blot
on the paper with his
pen, and said, ‘ There’s a
dark stain on the History
of England.’—G J. R.”
A very nice boy, and
we shall be glaa to
hear of him again,
ha! ha! but he will
of the note is a
for the mysterious
pair of compasses straddling over a square, which accounts
character of the communication. We print it intact:—
“ Facetious Swell (taking his morning’s gill). Your beer is rather tart, old fellaw.
“ Landlord. It’s the hage, and not the weathaw (? weather.) ”
Punch has not the faintest idea as to what his correspondent means, but perhaps
readers may be more lucky. Gills used to mean collars, but we don’t understand
what beer has to do with collars. But we did not sit down to think, but to make
an article.
Prom Manchester to Liverpool is but a step, we believe, and the next we take up
is dated from the latter city.
“STREET SCENE.
“ Place.—Musical Instrument Shop, -- Street, Liverpool.
“Time.—Friday, August 21st, 1862.
“ Enter Customer. Ah ! Have you any first class instruments ?
“Shopkeeper. Oh, yes Sir, best stock in town, can’t be beat, Sir.
“ Customer. Can’t be beat? Ob, then, you won’t suit me, for I want a drum.
“ [Shopkeeper’s surprise may he imagined.”
Please to imagine it until you are tired, and then you can leave off. Another
correspondent:—
“Sir,—I beg to offer the enclosed incident for your inspection, hoping to see it in Punch if it is
found suitable.”
Well, let us inspect the incident. What is it ?
“ Scene.—Donnybrook Fair, or any other place where rival factions can meet.
“ True Blue. Down with the Pope !
“ Roman Catholic. Who said that?
“ True Blue. Shure meself it was.
“ Roman Catholic. Take that then. [Hits him on the head with his shillelagh.”
A very pleasant incident, and we are happy to have inspected it. The writer’s
hope is gratified, and as he is in our debt, perhaps he will allow us to request a
gratification in return, namely, a cessation of his valuable correspondence.
Our next correspondent is good enough to supply us with a hint for an engraving,
which he considers “ may tend to put down that which endangers the lives and
persons of the community.” Mr. Punch would be more than happy to supply the
picture, but the iact is that all his artistic young men are out of towu, and he
is unwilling to lose a moment in producing a remedy for a crying evil:—
“ My suggestion is John Bull in fear of the Garotter.—A conveyance drawn by a pair, marked
‘ Garotter, a garotter inside. In the distance a grotto of oyster-shells and a child crying out
‘ Please, Remember the Grotto, G-rotter. The Garotter.’ I think it would be apropos to the
season, and with your assistance, accompanied by the assistance of one of your celebrated artists,
would please the public, at the same time caution them.’
Punch has made his apology for the absence of the assistance of one of his cele-
brated artists, and feels that the idea of his correspondent
is so vigorous that it needs no pictorial illustration. He
trusts to hear that garotting is at an end. Who comes
next ?
A Poet. Ha! Let us see. Poetry is acceptable at this
season.
“ RHYMES ON THE POACHING BILL.
“ And now I have a song to sing, a song I ’ll sing to you,
Of occurrences that happened in eighteen-sixty-two ;
Of a Bill in fact that was brought in towards the close of session,
Of course, for the man who brought it in was called Sir Baldwin
Leighton (late one).”
Hm ! Well—yes—and there are three pages more. On
the whole, perhaps, we ’ll only taste the Pierian spring this
time, with thanks to the Yorkshire lad who has turned it on.
Ah ! this is something like a correspondent. He supplies
both picture and wit. Bless him! We can’t well use his
picture, and regret it, for the work is grand in conception
and conscientious in execution. It represents a butcher’s
boy leaning on a tray, and another boy behind him, pinching
him. The letter-press is to be as follows :—
“ First Boy singing the song of ‘ The Lively Flea,’ and at the same
time pinching the Second Boy. Second Boy was peaceably 1 ooking
into the window of a shop when the First Boy came up and com-
menced pinching him as hard as he could, crying out that it was only
a lively flea.”
Ha! ha! ha! Very smart, indeed. Happy to hear from
W, P. H. again. Now come a lot of advertisements. Eh,
what’s this ? It’s genuine and cut from some local priut
WEMALE wanted, with exceedingly thick full lips (it will
a he quite useless for any others to apply), as Attendant upon, and
Model to a Gentleman Artist; a coloured woman, or a poor widow
preferred; good wages given. Apply by letter only, stating agJ(
address, and particulars to, &c.
Would not the Cleopatra in the International answer
the gentleman’s purpose. She is uot, like her neighbour
the Venus, a coloured woman, and Cleopatra was rather
a rich than a poor widow; but the coveted lips are there.
Another advertisement, all the way from Central India
(thank you, Lieutenant E., and how is the beer at S. ?)—
“ A Meeting of the Vaywahar Oopyogee Dnyan Vurdhue Subha
will be held this evening, at half-past 7 p.m., in the hall of the Khet-
wady Reading Room and Library, when Mr. Kekhusroo Nowrojee
will read his paper in Guzeratee, on ‘ Man and Woman compared.’
The attendance of the public is requested.”
Our correspondent wants to know the meaning of the
above. We have sent a copy to Sir Charles Wood, with
orders to explain in a private letter: if he does not, or if,
as is more probable, his explanation is ten times more
puzzling than the text, he will hear from us in a way he
won’t like.
Seventeen correspondents to-day, twenty yesterday, and
about a hundred previously, have sent us an advertise-
ment in which—here it is :—
1LTATRIMONY.—A Lady of Rank, having, under peculiar
J-VJL circumstances, been asked by the friends of a handsome
fashionable, and amiable young gentleman of distinction to effect a
marriage, will be glad to hear, confidentially, from a lady of fortune
wishing a really good and happy position.—Lady XX., Poste
Restante, foe.
Mr. Punch himself, or rather Mrs. Punch, inserted the
advertisement, wishing to marry off and settle one of their
young men who was getting a little too fond of his club, and
our friend Paddy Green. The result has been most for-
tunai e, a very beautiful girl was selected by Mr. Punch, out
of a garland of twenty-seven who answered the invitation,
and the marriage was solemnised straight off and will
be found announced in the Times of Saturday last. He is
sorry to have given his correspondents so much trouble, but
lias charged himself with the interests of the other twenty-
six young ladies, and is open to receive proposals for their
hands—they all have money, and eleven of them have brown
hair—correspondents will specify the colour they admire.
Mr. Punch at the same time inserted the following adver-
tisement, which has also been sent to him by scores of
astounded friends:—
A LADY of High Birth and Title, will AFFORD any Lady
-OL of adequate fortune, desirous to become settled in a good posi-
tion in society, the BENEFIT of peculiarly advantageous INTRO-
DUCTIONS to exclusive circles.—Name and particulars (in confi-
dence) indispensable. LadyV., &c.
Mr. Punch is restrained by peculiar considerations from
stating as yet the result of this announcement, but “ Lady
V.” (Mrs. Punch) has had numerous applications in reply,
and has had to decline several propositions on the part of
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 30, 1862.
A MANUFACTURED ARTICLE.
If it had been red ink now—Sanguinary Mary—ha!
improve, he will improve.
Number 2. This comes from Manchester, and in the corner
Come, Public, this is
the slack season, and
turn about is fair
play. Mr. Punch has
been working joyfully
for you all the year,
and now the Immor-
tal wants to sit on
the beach and throw
harmless stones into
smiling waves. Sup-
pose you work fur
him a little. You are
always sending him
tons of contributions
and suggestions (by
reason whereof seven
of his buttermen have
successively retired
with large fortunes),
and now he will over-
haul a handful of the
day’s letters from you.
This is the first that
comes to hand :—
“Sir,—I send for the
first time a contribution
to your journal: ‘ His-
tory of England. ’—A
schoolboy whilst writing
out the reign of Mary
the First, made a blot
on the paper with his
pen, and said, ‘ There’s a
dark stain on the History
of England.’—G J. R.”
A very nice boy, and
we shall be glaa to
hear of him again,
ha! ha! but he will
of the note is a
for the mysterious
pair of compasses straddling over a square, which accounts
character of the communication. We print it intact:—
“ Facetious Swell (taking his morning’s gill). Your beer is rather tart, old fellaw.
“ Landlord. It’s the hage, and not the weathaw (? weather.) ”
Punch has not the faintest idea as to what his correspondent means, but perhaps
readers may be more lucky. Gills used to mean collars, but we don’t understand
what beer has to do with collars. But we did not sit down to think, but to make
an article.
Prom Manchester to Liverpool is but a step, we believe, and the next we take up
is dated from the latter city.
“STREET SCENE.
“ Place.—Musical Instrument Shop, -- Street, Liverpool.
“Time.—Friday, August 21st, 1862.
“ Enter Customer. Ah ! Have you any first class instruments ?
“Shopkeeper. Oh, yes Sir, best stock in town, can’t be beat, Sir.
“ Customer. Can’t be beat? Ob, then, you won’t suit me, for I want a drum.
“ [Shopkeeper’s surprise may he imagined.”
Please to imagine it until you are tired, and then you can leave off. Another
correspondent:—
“Sir,—I beg to offer the enclosed incident for your inspection, hoping to see it in Punch if it is
found suitable.”
Well, let us inspect the incident. What is it ?
“ Scene.—Donnybrook Fair, or any other place where rival factions can meet.
“ True Blue. Down with the Pope !
“ Roman Catholic. Who said that?
“ True Blue. Shure meself it was.
“ Roman Catholic. Take that then. [Hits him on the head with his shillelagh.”
A very pleasant incident, and we are happy to have inspected it. The writer’s
hope is gratified, and as he is in our debt, perhaps he will allow us to request a
gratification in return, namely, a cessation of his valuable correspondence.
Our next correspondent is good enough to supply us with a hint for an engraving,
which he considers “ may tend to put down that which endangers the lives and
persons of the community.” Mr. Punch would be more than happy to supply the
picture, but the iact is that all his artistic young men are out of towu, and he
is unwilling to lose a moment in producing a remedy for a crying evil:—
“ My suggestion is John Bull in fear of the Garotter.—A conveyance drawn by a pair, marked
‘ Garotter, a garotter inside. In the distance a grotto of oyster-shells and a child crying out
‘ Please, Remember the Grotto, G-rotter. The Garotter.’ I think it would be apropos to the
season, and with your assistance, accompanied by the assistance of one of your celebrated artists,
would please the public, at the same time caution them.’
Punch has made his apology for the absence of the assistance of one of his cele-
brated artists, and feels that the idea of his correspondent
is so vigorous that it needs no pictorial illustration. He
trusts to hear that garotting is at an end. Who comes
next ?
A Poet. Ha! Let us see. Poetry is acceptable at this
season.
“ RHYMES ON THE POACHING BILL.
“ And now I have a song to sing, a song I ’ll sing to you,
Of occurrences that happened in eighteen-sixty-two ;
Of a Bill in fact that was brought in towards the close of session,
Of course, for the man who brought it in was called Sir Baldwin
Leighton (late one).”
Hm ! Well—yes—and there are three pages more. On
the whole, perhaps, we ’ll only taste the Pierian spring this
time, with thanks to the Yorkshire lad who has turned it on.
Ah ! this is something like a correspondent. He supplies
both picture and wit. Bless him! We can’t well use his
picture, and regret it, for the work is grand in conception
and conscientious in execution. It represents a butcher’s
boy leaning on a tray, and another boy behind him, pinching
him. The letter-press is to be as follows :—
“ First Boy singing the song of ‘ The Lively Flea,’ and at the same
time pinching the Second Boy. Second Boy was peaceably 1 ooking
into the window of a shop when the First Boy came up and com-
menced pinching him as hard as he could, crying out that it was only
a lively flea.”
Ha! ha! ha! Very smart, indeed. Happy to hear from
W, P. H. again. Now come a lot of advertisements. Eh,
what’s this ? It’s genuine and cut from some local priut
WEMALE wanted, with exceedingly thick full lips (it will
a he quite useless for any others to apply), as Attendant upon, and
Model to a Gentleman Artist; a coloured woman, or a poor widow
preferred; good wages given. Apply by letter only, stating agJ(
address, and particulars to, &c.
Would not the Cleopatra in the International answer
the gentleman’s purpose. She is uot, like her neighbour
the Venus, a coloured woman, and Cleopatra was rather
a rich than a poor widow; but the coveted lips are there.
Another advertisement, all the way from Central India
(thank you, Lieutenant E., and how is the beer at S. ?)—
“ A Meeting of the Vaywahar Oopyogee Dnyan Vurdhue Subha
will be held this evening, at half-past 7 p.m., in the hall of the Khet-
wady Reading Room and Library, when Mr. Kekhusroo Nowrojee
will read his paper in Guzeratee, on ‘ Man and Woman compared.’
The attendance of the public is requested.”
Our correspondent wants to know the meaning of the
above. We have sent a copy to Sir Charles Wood, with
orders to explain in a private letter: if he does not, or if,
as is more probable, his explanation is ten times more
puzzling than the text, he will hear from us in a way he
won’t like.
Seventeen correspondents to-day, twenty yesterday, and
about a hundred previously, have sent us an advertise-
ment in which—here it is :—
1LTATRIMONY.—A Lady of Rank, having, under peculiar
J-VJL circumstances, been asked by the friends of a handsome
fashionable, and amiable young gentleman of distinction to effect a
marriage, will be glad to hear, confidentially, from a lady of fortune
wishing a really good and happy position.—Lady XX., Poste
Restante, foe.
Mr. Punch himself, or rather Mrs. Punch, inserted the
advertisement, wishing to marry off and settle one of their
young men who was getting a little too fond of his club, and
our friend Paddy Green. The result has been most for-
tunai e, a very beautiful girl was selected by Mr. Punch, out
of a garland of twenty-seven who answered the invitation,
and the marriage was solemnised straight off and will
be found announced in the Times of Saturday last. He is
sorry to have given his correspondents so much trouble, but
lias charged himself with the interests of the other twenty-
six young ladies, and is open to receive proposals for their
hands—they all have money, and eleven of them have brown
hair—correspondents will specify the colour they admire.
Mr. Punch at the same time inserted the following adver-
tisement, which has also been sent to him by scores of
astounded friends:—
A LADY of High Birth and Title, will AFFORD any Lady
-OL of adequate fortune, desirous to become settled in a good posi-
tion in society, the BENEFIT of peculiarly advantageous INTRO-
DUCTIONS to exclusive circles.—Name and particulars (in confi-
dence) indispensable. LadyV., &c.
Mr. Punch is restrained by peculiar considerations from
stating as yet the result of this announcement, but “ Lady
V.” (Mrs. Punch) has had numerous applications in reply,
and has had to decline several propositions on the part of