Punch (43.1862)

22

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[January 18, 1862.

FACIT INDIGNATIO VERSUM.

Mr. Bright and Mr.
Cobden have been
publishing poetry in
their respected or-
gan, and that of
America, the Morn-
ing Star. The Ame-
rican crisis has
brought out the
poetical powers of
the two gentlemen,
and they naturally
assail the English
journals that have
taken the English
view of the late diffi-
culty. To this course
there can be no fair
objection; the Star
and the New York
Herald are as much
entitled to their side
of the question as
English newspapers
are to their own t
views. In all fair
play Mr. Punch offers |
the advantage of his
vast circulation to

the poetical effusions of Messrs. Bright and Cobden, which otherwise might be
read only in a limited and uneducated circle. He regrets that he has not space for
the whole of the poems, but has selected the very best verses. The one poet
attacks the Times the other ventures upon Mr. Punch. We give the pas to Mr.
Bright’s onslaught upon the elder journal

“WAR.

“ Morning Star, January 7.

“ Last year it was the Frank,

Lay like a couchant pard,

To leap upon our flank,

If he caught us off our guard.

“ The frenzy came and went,

And now we ’re hounded on,

Our annual bile to vent

On prostrate Jonathan (thon).

“ Blood ! give us blood to taste !

No matter what the cost!

Allowances must be made for a middle-aged gentleman, but a young poet. The
rhyming “on” to “Jonathan,” and “blood” to “shud,” may be referred to the
provincial dialect, but “complain” with “plain” is less defensible. But these are
spots upon the sun, or rather upon the Star j and as Mr. Charles Dance has
observed, in one of his wittiest burlesques :—

“ Though millions run to waste !

And thousand lives are lost!

“ Yet blood ! blood ! blood ;

Screams the sanguinary Times !

Oh God i that miscreants should (shud)
Grow rich upon their crimes I

“ And when the poor complain,

With cheeks and fingers blue,

Lay them upon the plain,

Of another Peterloo I ”

“ 0, Madam, when a man is in a flurry,

He hasn’t time to think of Lindley Murray.”

The delicacy and grace of the poem, its truthfulness, and its logic, are worthy of
the school whence it emanates, and should elevate it above the sphere of aristo-
cratic criticism, which fastidiously refuses, as George Herbert says, “to pick
out treasures from an earthen pot,” and distrusts sentiment clothed in bad grammar.
Congratulating Mr. Bright on his poetical success, let us pass on to the more
cheery and humorous strains of his friend Mr. Cobden, who, justly regarding
Mr. Punch as addicted to fun, deems it proper to be funny in remonstrating with
him.

“ THE COUNTRY COUSIN’S ADDRESS TO PUNCH.

“ Morning Star, January 9.

“ Why, Punch, what makes you foam and rile
About the Yankees so ?

Sure you have got a fit of bile,

That makes you furious, oh !

“ Have you been bitten by the Times,

Or what has raised your choler ?

Now take it easy, Punch, my boy,

And do not rave and holler.

“ Your fun has into brimstone turn’d,
Hence all your fulminations ;

Will nothing do for squibs and jokes
But war with other nations ?

“ Now, just abate your fighting spleen,
And try a little reason,

And hatch at least a joke or two,

At this most joking season.”

Now this, as comic poetry, appears to Mr. Punch to be very meritorious. The
“oh,” in the first verse may not seem exactly called for; but rhymes are as
despotic as democrats, and “so” demanded “ oh,” though “wo!” the carter’s
exclamation, or “ bo,” the Suffolk endearment, and many other words will occur to
Mr. Cobden, under similar difficulties, when he shall have had more practice in
composition. We regret to see that both poets are unaware that the same syllables
should not be used twice, and Mr. Bright’s “ complain ” and “ plain ” are paral-
leled by Mr. Cobden’s “nations” and “fulminations.” Still,the verses do the
authors credit. The American Muse has almost invariably (not that we forget

you, Longus Comes) been a Mocking Bird, and we must not
be hypercritical.

The words of Mercury are harsh after the songs of
Apollo, and Mr. Punch will abstain from any further anno-
tations, rejoicing that his humble efforts have been the
means of eliciting such delightful music from the American
Pyre.

NO FUSS WITH SLIDELL AND MASON.

To the People of Southampton.

My dear People,

Hurrah ! Slidell and Mason are surrendered—
and Queen Anne is no more. Hip, hip, hip, hurrah!
We shall soon have the Southern Commissioners over here.
They will very likely land at your port: and that is why I
now address you.

You are a most hospitable People, a highly enthusi-
astic People, a People much addicted to demonstrations
of alt kinds, especially to demonstrations complimentary
to distinguished foreigners who do themselves the honour
of paying you a visit. You glorify them and give them
grand dinners, on which occasions your orators make the
most eloquent speeches, in honour of your guests, on things
in general.

You feasted Kossuth some years ago, and the other day
you feasted the Archduke of Austria, Apparently you
don’t much mind whom you feast, provided it is a celebrity.
But pray now don’t go feasting Slidell and Mason.

We have narrowly escaped from being involved in a war
because of a notion on the part of the Yankees that we
sympathise with the South. It is advisable for us to abstain
from any act which may tend to confirm that absurd but
inveterate persuasion. They are as mad as snakes because
the Nashville is lying in your docks. If you ask Slidell
and Mason to dinner, and drink their healths, and have
them aud your orators spouting and speechifying, and
extolling the British Lion, Yankee Doodle, who does uot
understand your enthusiastic hospitality, and demonstra-
tiveness, will assuredly regard your welcome of the
Southern Commissioners as a declaration on the part of
the people of England for the Confederate side. Invite
those gentlemen to dine at your own houses if you like,
but beware lest, by giving them what Continental editors
call an “ ovation,” you cause all of your country-men to
be lumped by the Yankees as Confederates with the
Southern Confederacy. Be pleased, therefore, to deny
yourselves on this occasion, for once, the gratification of
feasting illustrious strangers, and oblige your obedient
humble servant,

P.S. My advice to you is also my advice to Liverpool.

N.B. Slidell and Mason can have little power to
promote the commercial interests of Southampton.

ENDLESS RESOURCES.

In that organ of purity and honour, the New York Herald,
we find the following promise to pay :—

“ The storm may blow over, but it will leave a debt of abuse from
England to be repaid hereafter by America.”

We must say that “a debt of abuse” would be about the
very last debt that America would be ever likely to repu-
diate. In fact, why need she be guilty of dishonesty, when
the resources she has at her command are so inexhaustible
as to be more than sufficient to meet every claim of that
nature that might be made upon her? Were the entire
World her customers in abuse, we have not the slightest
doubt but that she would pay every oue of them in full.
Thanks to its Press, it is the one source of wealth that
America is never likely to be bankrupt in. When the hour
of payment, as generously indicated above by the. New
York Herald, does arrive, we propose that, in considera-
tion of his superior efficiency in that department, Mr.
Gordon Bennett be appointed pay-master. Only let him
draw upon his imagination, and we mil back him to repay
any amount of abuse. He is so liberal in this respect,
that it must have been a mistake on the part of Nature
when she made him a Scotchman. The O’Donyahoo might
fairly claim bin. as a brother.