DOI issue:
[July] 25, 1862
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16870#0039
January 25, 1862.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
31
AN AMERICAN POPE.
A Tiny bit of American news, just published,
is this:—
“Three British seamen who had been captured for a
breach of blockade, had been required to take an oath
that they would never enter into an engagement to
perform a similar proceeding. Mr. Seward absolves
them from their oath.”
The absolution must be a great comfort to
Jack, whose conscience upon the subject of
swearing is known to be excessively tender.
But the more interesting point is the new func-
tion assumed by the American Minister. It
seems that he has the power of granting absolu-
tion from oaths. This is satisfactory, because
when the compromise with the South has to be
arranged, Mr. Seward, who can release men
from an oath, can surely release them, from dis-
puted allegiance. The announcement shows that
the Dollar is not the only supernatural authority
in America.
Enough to Ruin any Place.
We read that Torre del Grecco is, in conse-
quence of Vesuvius hotly contesting the city,
nothing better than a mass of ruins. It would
seem that hi Italy, as in England, whenever
there is a rotten borough, there is sure to be a
Tory at the bottom of it!
THE CRACKER BON-BON.
Two Little Stoopicls (with one voice). “ I know I shall Scream—I’m sure I shall ! ”
Stone-Blind.—We suppose that an old hun-
ter may be said to be stone-blind, when the poor
beast lias got what is called “a wall-eye.”
SALISBURY AND JEROBOAM.
Our excellent friend, Mr. Roebuck, has been getting into strange
j company. He, John Arthur, the Radical, cat hex-O’KEAN (as Mr. Cox
means to say when he has learned Greek), has been delivering an address
at Salisbury on popular education, and has given it in the presence of
| divers clergy, and among them the Bishop of Salisbury, avenger of
the Church upon the Essays and Reviews. Mr. Punch has nothing
particular to say about the address generally, except it was sensible
and practical. We leave him to settle with the men in the north the
question of the accuracy of the following sketch of the life of a skilled
mechanic there:—
“ How is the life of a man in the north passed who earns wages of a high cha-
racter ? He gets up in the morning and goes to work. He comes home, and the
first thing he usually does is to swear at his wife. Perhaps he beats his children,
and then he caresses his dog. His whole life is passed in mere sensual enjoyments
—getting drunk is his chief business in life, and when he has got drunk, his next
business is to get sober. Now that is that man's life, and I ask you to compare that
life with the life of an educated man.”
Let us hear wha.t the men of the north say to that. If it be false it
should be contradicted; and, if true, the northerners ought to be very
much ashamed of themselves. But what Mr. Punch does want to
advert to is this. Mr. Roebuck was insisting upon the necessity of
teaching the children of the poor in a practical manner, of calling their
attention to the productions of nature, and the things around them,
instead of cramming their heads with ancient history, and dates, and
all that sort of scholarship. And he said:—
“ It is the habit of very well-intended people to go into a school and say, ‘ Well,
what shall we teach these children? We will teach them the events of past ages.’
Pretty nearly the first thing they say is, ‘ Don’t you think this child Joh n Brown
should learn who were the Kings of Israel and Judaea?’ By dint of driving hard,
they teach the child the order in which Jeroboam comes, and who succeeded him ;
but what earthly good is it to him ? ”
He then told a story ot a friend of Dr. Arnott, who—
“ Pelt it his business to exercise the mind of the children, and one morning he
called all the boys and girls together, and said, ‘ I want every one of you to take a
slate, and on Monday morning to bring me an account of all the four-legged animals
on the farm.’ On Saturday my friend walked through the village, and saw the
little fellows sitting before the door, with their eyes cooked up, and thinking of
cows, horses, and sheep ; and not only that, but it spread through the household,
and all the fathers and mothers in the village were up in arms, wondering how
many four-legged things there were on the farm. (Laughttr.) A prize was given
to the cleverest boy, who gave the greatest number. Now that is exactly what-the
people now-a-days don’t do. They talk of Jeroboam or Jehoshaphat, but who cares
about Jehoshaphat or Jeroboam ? (Laughter.) They have not only long passed away,
but they have left no trace of their existence behind. To tell me how many four-
legged animals there are on the farm is a thing all can understand, and will go
clearly to exercise the mind of the children.”
The Bishop of Salisbury followed Mr. Roebuck, complimented
him for bis “ truthfulness,” and thanked him heartily.
Do you hear that, Dr. Rowland Williams? Do you hear that.
Record? Do you hear that, Christian Observer, new series ? This model
bishop, who is firing into an unfortunate parson who cannot help him-
self, actually sat still and heard Jeroboam and Jehoshaphat spoken
slightingly of by a Member of Parliament? Why didn’t the bishop
stand up for Jeroboam, before the Archdeacon Honey, as he does,_per
Dr. Phillimore, before Dr. Ltjshington? When the people laughed
at Jeroboam, why did not the bishop give it ’em, hot and hot. “Who
cares about Jeroboam? ” said Mr. Roebuck. Was it not the bishop’s
business to jump up and protest against the son of Nebat being
spoken of in that manner, as if he were only a Canute or an Alfred ?
What is right before the Court of Arches is right in the Salisbury
Assembly Rooms, and vice versa, and we shall feel much less satisfied
with the Record than we like to be, if it does not call upon the bishop
for an explanation. No wonder that after such courtesy Mr. Roebuck
said :—
“There was a dash, I thought, in your lordship’s speech which implied I had
wished to convey something like censure upon a body I very much honour namely,
the reverend class to which he belongs. I think this country is deeply indebted to
the Church of England for her attempt to educate the people. I am well known
and nobody knows it better than your lordship—to be what is called a Radical; but
still I have that feeling in my own mind which induces me to admire and heartily
thank those reverend gentlemen who have striven in the great cause which I have
humbly advocated to-nigbt. (Cheers.) I beg your lordship to believe that there is no
body of men for whom I have a more hearty and a more complete respect and
admiration than the class to which your lordship belongs.” (Cheers.)
All very flue, but what the bishop ought to have gone in for was
justice to Jeroboam.
One of the Great Objects of Travelling
Is bragging about it afterwards, and boring all your friends with prosy
far-fetched accounts of your wonderful ascents and hair-breadth perils
and miraculous escapes. If the members of the club, called the
“ Travellers ” are incessantly talking about their travels, what a super-
lative set of colossal bores they must be, to be sure ! By the bye, now
that we think of it, “ The Travellers’ Club,” strictly speaking, is an
Alpen-stock.
HISTORICAL FICTIONS.
Sir Archibald Alison, in his Life of Castlereagh, has made the odd
blunder of placing among the attendants at the Duke of Wellington’s
funeral, “ Peregrine Pickle.” The lapsus pennee is not strange in
an historian whose wild statements savour of Roderick Random.
31
AN AMERICAN POPE.
A Tiny bit of American news, just published,
is this:—
“Three British seamen who had been captured for a
breach of blockade, had been required to take an oath
that they would never enter into an engagement to
perform a similar proceeding. Mr. Seward absolves
them from their oath.”
The absolution must be a great comfort to
Jack, whose conscience upon the subject of
swearing is known to be excessively tender.
But the more interesting point is the new func-
tion assumed by the American Minister. It
seems that he has the power of granting absolu-
tion from oaths. This is satisfactory, because
when the compromise with the South has to be
arranged, Mr. Seward, who can release men
from an oath, can surely release them, from dis-
puted allegiance. The announcement shows that
the Dollar is not the only supernatural authority
in America.
Enough to Ruin any Place.
We read that Torre del Grecco is, in conse-
quence of Vesuvius hotly contesting the city,
nothing better than a mass of ruins. It would
seem that hi Italy, as in England, whenever
there is a rotten borough, there is sure to be a
Tory at the bottom of it!
THE CRACKER BON-BON.
Two Little Stoopicls (with one voice). “ I know I shall Scream—I’m sure I shall ! ”
Stone-Blind.—We suppose that an old hun-
ter may be said to be stone-blind, when the poor
beast lias got what is called “a wall-eye.”
SALISBURY AND JEROBOAM.
Our excellent friend, Mr. Roebuck, has been getting into strange
j company. He, John Arthur, the Radical, cat hex-O’KEAN (as Mr. Cox
means to say when he has learned Greek), has been delivering an address
at Salisbury on popular education, and has given it in the presence of
| divers clergy, and among them the Bishop of Salisbury, avenger of
the Church upon the Essays and Reviews. Mr. Punch has nothing
particular to say about the address generally, except it was sensible
and practical. We leave him to settle with the men in the north the
question of the accuracy of the following sketch of the life of a skilled
mechanic there:—
“ How is the life of a man in the north passed who earns wages of a high cha-
racter ? He gets up in the morning and goes to work. He comes home, and the
first thing he usually does is to swear at his wife. Perhaps he beats his children,
and then he caresses his dog. His whole life is passed in mere sensual enjoyments
—getting drunk is his chief business in life, and when he has got drunk, his next
business is to get sober. Now that is that man's life, and I ask you to compare that
life with the life of an educated man.”
Let us hear wha.t the men of the north say to that. If it be false it
should be contradicted; and, if true, the northerners ought to be very
much ashamed of themselves. But what Mr. Punch does want to
advert to is this. Mr. Roebuck was insisting upon the necessity of
teaching the children of the poor in a practical manner, of calling their
attention to the productions of nature, and the things around them,
instead of cramming their heads with ancient history, and dates, and
all that sort of scholarship. And he said:—
“ It is the habit of very well-intended people to go into a school and say, ‘ Well,
what shall we teach these children? We will teach them the events of past ages.’
Pretty nearly the first thing they say is, ‘ Don’t you think this child Joh n Brown
should learn who were the Kings of Israel and Judaea?’ By dint of driving hard,
they teach the child the order in which Jeroboam comes, and who succeeded him ;
but what earthly good is it to him ? ”
He then told a story ot a friend of Dr. Arnott, who—
“ Pelt it his business to exercise the mind of the children, and one morning he
called all the boys and girls together, and said, ‘ I want every one of you to take a
slate, and on Monday morning to bring me an account of all the four-legged animals
on the farm.’ On Saturday my friend walked through the village, and saw the
little fellows sitting before the door, with their eyes cooked up, and thinking of
cows, horses, and sheep ; and not only that, but it spread through the household,
and all the fathers and mothers in the village were up in arms, wondering how
many four-legged things there were on the farm. (Laughttr.) A prize was given
to the cleverest boy, who gave the greatest number. Now that is exactly what-the
people now-a-days don’t do. They talk of Jeroboam or Jehoshaphat, but who cares
about Jehoshaphat or Jeroboam ? (Laughter.) They have not only long passed away,
but they have left no trace of their existence behind. To tell me how many four-
legged animals there are on the farm is a thing all can understand, and will go
clearly to exercise the mind of the children.”
The Bishop of Salisbury followed Mr. Roebuck, complimented
him for bis “ truthfulness,” and thanked him heartily.
Do you hear that, Dr. Rowland Williams? Do you hear that.
Record? Do you hear that, Christian Observer, new series ? This model
bishop, who is firing into an unfortunate parson who cannot help him-
self, actually sat still and heard Jeroboam and Jehoshaphat spoken
slightingly of by a Member of Parliament? Why didn’t the bishop
stand up for Jeroboam, before the Archdeacon Honey, as he does,_per
Dr. Phillimore, before Dr. Ltjshington? When the people laughed
at Jeroboam, why did not the bishop give it ’em, hot and hot. “Who
cares about Jeroboam? ” said Mr. Roebuck. Was it not the bishop’s
business to jump up and protest against the son of Nebat being
spoken of in that manner, as if he were only a Canute or an Alfred ?
What is right before the Court of Arches is right in the Salisbury
Assembly Rooms, and vice versa, and we shall feel much less satisfied
with the Record than we like to be, if it does not call upon the bishop
for an explanation. No wonder that after such courtesy Mr. Roebuck
said :—
“There was a dash, I thought, in your lordship’s speech which implied I had
wished to convey something like censure upon a body I very much honour namely,
the reverend class to which he belongs. I think this country is deeply indebted to
the Church of England for her attempt to educate the people. I am well known
and nobody knows it better than your lordship—to be what is called a Radical; but
still I have that feeling in my own mind which induces me to admire and heartily
thank those reverend gentlemen who have striven in the great cause which I have
humbly advocated to-nigbt. (Cheers.) I beg your lordship to believe that there is no
body of men for whom I have a more hearty and a more complete respect and
admiration than the class to which your lordship belongs.” (Cheers.)
All very flue, but what the bishop ought to have gone in for was
justice to Jeroboam.
One of the Great Objects of Travelling
Is bragging about it afterwards, and boring all your friends with prosy
far-fetched accounts of your wonderful ascents and hair-breadth perils
and miraculous escapes. If the members of the club, called the
“ Travellers ” are incessantly talking about their travels, what a super-
lative set of colossal bores they must be, to be sure ! By the bye, now
that we think of it, “ The Travellers’ Club,” strictly speaking, is an
Alpen-stock.
HISTORICAL FICTIONS.
Sir Archibald Alison, in his Life of Castlereagh, has made the odd
blunder of placing among the attendants at the Duke of Wellington’s
funeral, “ Peregrine Pickle.” The lapsus pennee is not strange in
an historian whose wild statements savour of Roderick Random.