Punch: Punch (50.1866)

40

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[January 27, I860.


A POSER.

Mr. Brown. “ That Wine, Sir, has been in my Cellar Four-and-Twenty
Years come last Christmas ! Four—and—Twenty—Years—Sir!”

Mr. Green (desperately anxious to please). “ Has it really, Sir? What must
IT HAVE BEEN WHEN IT WHS NEW?”

HOW BIBER WENT DOWN TO THE REGIONS
BELOW.

At the meeting for promoting Reform in Convocation
(much wanted—the reform, that is) the Rev. Dr. Biber,
Vicar of Roehampton, “ had no hesitation in saying that,
if Convocation had been sitting, the Divorce Act, which had
flooded the land with immorality, would never have been
passed.”—Times' Report.

P-unch, the jester and the giber,

Thus remarks to Doctor Biber :—

If a room is very dirty,

’Tis a prudent practice, certe.

Not to suffer sun or candle
To intrude and show the scandal.

So black beetles, mice, and vermin,

Doubtless would, if asked, determine':

But a tidy housewife mutters
“ Sluts! and flings back doors and shutters,
And the sight of floor and rafter
Promises a clean hereafter.

She’s the Act our priest abuses,

Who with cause effect confuses,

Till a wit might found a farce on
Muddle like this talk of parson.

N ow, as our good-natured nation
Simply laughs at Convocation,

And regards its grunts and grumbles
As the utterances of Bumbles,

Punch, the jester and the giber,

Blandly bonnets bungling Biber.

ENFORCE RESPONSIBILITY.

Captain Wake, late of H. M. S. Bull-dog, was called
upon to defend the honour of the British flag. He did so,
gallantly, skilfully, and successfully. But, in so doing, he
met with an accident which nothing but clairvoyance would
have enabled him to avoid ; he ran aground and had to blow
up his ship. Therefore a Court Martial has adjudged him
to be dismissed the ship which no longer exists. I t is a
pity that this part of the sentence cannot well be inflicted,
fie was also adjudged to be severely reprimanded. This is
as it should be. The example thus made will encourage
other officers, circumstanced as Captain Wake was, to
incur responsibility as readily as he did.



I

!

A PAST TO BRING DOWN BUTCHERS' MEAT.

A Deputation, headed by the Archbishop op Canterbury, waited
yesterday on Sir George Grey at the Home Office, for the purpose of
requesting the Right Hon. Baronet to recommend Her Most Gracious
Majesty to issue an Order in Council appointing a General East Day
on account of the high price of butchers’ meat.

His Grace, the Archbishop, having stated the object of the deputa-
tion,

Sir George Grey replied, that whatever might be thought of the
propriety or utility of proclaiming a fast on the occasion of some
calamities, there could be no doubt that the price of butchers’ meat was
an evil for which fasting would be a very appropriate remedy, and
would indeed prove an effectual cure, if persevered in long enough.
The effect of a single fast day, however, would be small unless miracu-
lous, even though it should be strictly observed. But did not the
observance of a fast day, by the bulk of the community, consist chiefly
in going to the Crystal Palace, or on some other excursion ?

The Archbishop op Canterbury said there was too much reason
to fear that such was the case as regarded the inhabitants of the
Metropolis. But good ground existed for trusting that, through-
out the country, days of fasting and humiliation were religiously
observed.

Sir George Grey was afraid that the observance of both fasting and
humiliation was confined to the humbler classes, whose humiliation was
chronic and involuntary, and who would not fast if they could help it;
but the majority of the agricultural labourers in the rural districts, as
far as abstinence from meat went, fasted from necessity nearly all the
year round. There was no compelling the richer classes to fast against
their inclination. The fourteenth of next month would be Ash
Wednesday, when Lent would commence, and people would fast or not
as they chose. Even the Clergy were not obliged to fast unless they
were Curates with stipends inadequate to beef and mutton. He did
not see any good in Government attempting to anticipate the regular

fasting season, especially as they had no power to enforce its observance.
But if everybody would rigorously abstain from flesh during the whole
of Lent, he thought that would be the likeliest thing to bring the
butchers to their senses. Could not the. Clergy do their best to per-
suade their congregations to practise total abstinence from meat
throughout the whole period extending between Shrove Tuesday and
Easter, unless indeed the price of meat should, as would probably be
the case, fall in the meanwhile to a reasonable figure?

His Grace the Archbishop op Canterbury, on the part of the
Clergy, thanked the Right Ron. Baronet for his suggestion; which he
was sure his reverend brethren would do their utmost by precept if not
by example, to persuade their congregations to put in practice.

The deputation then withdrew.

LITTLE PLAYS AND LARGE POSTERS.

We wonder where the mania for big posters will stop. Really they
seem to grow bigger every day, and there is scarce a street in London
which is not defaced by these hideous monstrosities. The theatres are
perhaps the greatest of offenders. No matter how little is the new
piece they produce, the largest of large letters are employed to give us
notice of it.

Now, are there really many playgoers ■whom placards can attract P
Are plays so unattractive that a good house cannot be got without this
broadcast use of paper? The work of advertising a new play is best
done by the public. Let your piece be really bad, and it cannot much
be helped by puffery and posters. Let your play be really good,
and every audience will advertise its merit and attractions. Depend
upon it, gentlemen, what you spend upon bad ink might be far more
profitably spent upon good writing. If what is wasted on dead walls
were paid to living writers, a great eyesore in our streets would be
happily removed, and great good would be done to the condition of
the drama.