DOI Heft:
June 16, 1866
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16877#0260
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [June i6. 1866.
BEASTS AT THE ZOO.
Young Lady. “ Is this Chair Engaged ? ”
Perfect Gentleman (who does not stick at a lie). “ Yaas ! I’m keeping it for a Friend.”
HONESTY AND POLICY.
“ When thieves fall out,” the proverb says,
“ Honest men may come by their own.”
Now Germany’s crown’d thieves fall out.
Some doubt upon the proverb’s thrown.
When realms are shattered in the clash
Of Eagles, hung with golden fleeces,
While Louis coolly waits the smash,
In hopes he may pick up the pieces,
’Tis long odds if this thievish strife
Aid honest men to get their own,
But two thieves warring to the knife
May help a third their swag to bone.
Then let Britannia from her fling
War-threats and peace professions hollow.
Safe from the loss such strife must bring.
As from the gains such strife may follow.
GUARDIAN AND BLACKGUARDIAN.
During the investigation into the atrocities at the Strand Union, a
witness, who was testifying to the wickedness of the system, observed
that “ mesenteric diseases were prevalent in the house.”
Upon this a Guardian of the Poor is reported to have exclaimed,
“ Mesenteric, what’s that ? Something to eat P ”
We do not know the name of this fellow. If we did, it should be
brought before the world, week after week, until the pachydermatous
cad had expressed regret at his brutal indecency. Meantime, he is
heartily welcome to both the names at the top of this paragraph—they
are his by the united bestowal of all who read the Times of Thursday,
June 7
ORNITHOLOGY.
An Anxious Inquirer writes to us to know if any of our readers can
give him some information on the following point. There is, it appears,
a species of pigeon called a “ tumbleris the Tumbler any relation to
that peculiar town bird the “acrobat.”
[“The Acrobat, is evidently something between the Corvus niger
and the Vespertilio, as is evident from the name A-crow-bat. We can-
not undertake to say any more at present.”—Our Own Professor of Nat.
Hist.]
He tells us the following curious anecdote. The other night in an
outlying country district he was knocked down by something flying at
him, hitting him sharply on the head. As he fell he heard a rustling in
the hedge at the side. On recovering himself he found a fine specimen
of the Brick-bat on the ground quite motionless. He immediately
searched the bushes, but failed to find its nest. He wishes to know
where they lay, and what colour the Brick-bat’s eggs are.
[“ The eggs of the Brick-bat are a great rarity in England.”—Punch's
Prof Nat. Hist.]
The best way of catching Bats is to sit on the top of the house at
night, and fish with a fly-rod baited with a beetle.
Our Cockney Correspondent is wrong. The study of Horned Owls
did not originally give the name to the entire science of Horney-Thology.
Wopps.—No; Swallows are not the only birds who take three meals
a-day.
Middleagibus.—Hawking is still carried on in England, but it is no
longer an amusement. There are plenty of hawkers in London, and on
many a fine summer’s afternoon hawking is to be seen in most of the
poorer neighbourhoods of the Metropolis.
Jumper.—Hawks are to be found (as every school-boy knows) chiefly
in the islands called the Hawkneys.
The Race for Wealth.—Jews.
BEASTS AT THE ZOO.
Young Lady. “ Is this Chair Engaged ? ”
Perfect Gentleman (who does not stick at a lie). “ Yaas ! I’m keeping it for a Friend.”
HONESTY AND POLICY.
“ When thieves fall out,” the proverb says,
“ Honest men may come by their own.”
Now Germany’s crown’d thieves fall out.
Some doubt upon the proverb’s thrown.
When realms are shattered in the clash
Of Eagles, hung with golden fleeces,
While Louis coolly waits the smash,
In hopes he may pick up the pieces,
’Tis long odds if this thievish strife
Aid honest men to get their own,
But two thieves warring to the knife
May help a third their swag to bone.
Then let Britannia from her fling
War-threats and peace professions hollow.
Safe from the loss such strife must bring.
As from the gains such strife may follow.
GUARDIAN AND BLACKGUARDIAN.
During the investigation into the atrocities at the Strand Union, a
witness, who was testifying to the wickedness of the system, observed
that “ mesenteric diseases were prevalent in the house.”
Upon this a Guardian of the Poor is reported to have exclaimed,
“ Mesenteric, what’s that ? Something to eat P ”
We do not know the name of this fellow. If we did, it should be
brought before the world, week after week, until the pachydermatous
cad had expressed regret at his brutal indecency. Meantime, he is
heartily welcome to both the names at the top of this paragraph—they
are his by the united bestowal of all who read the Times of Thursday,
June 7
ORNITHOLOGY.
An Anxious Inquirer writes to us to know if any of our readers can
give him some information on the following point. There is, it appears,
a species of pigeon called a “ tumbleris the Tumbler any relation to
that peculiar town bird the “acrobat.”
[“The Acrobat, is evidently something between the Corvus niger
and the Vespertilio, as is evident from the name A-crow-bat. We can-
not undertake to say any more at present.”—Our Own Professor of Nat.
Hist.]
He tells us the following curious anecdote. The other night in an
outlying country district he was knocked down by something flying at
him, hitting him sharply on the head. As he fell he heard a rustling in
the hedge at the side. On recovering himself he found a fine specimen
of the Brick-bat on the ground quite motionless. He immediately
searched the bushes, but failed to find its nest. He wishes to know
where they lay, and what colour the Brick-bat’s eggs are.
[“ The eggs of the Brick-bat are a great rarity in England.”—Punch's
Prof Nat. Hist.]
The best way of catching Bats is to sit on the top of the house at
night, and fish with a fly-rod baited with a beetle.
Our Cockney Correspondent is wrong. The study of Horned Owls
did not originally give the name to the entire science of Horney-Thology.
Wopps.—No; Swallows are not the only birds who take three meals
a-day.
Middleagibus.—Hawking is still carried on in England, but it is no
longer an amusement. There are plenty of hawkers in London, and on
many a fine summer’s afternoon hawking is to be seen in most of the
poorer neighbourhoods of the Metropolis.
Jumper.—Hawks are to be found (as every school-boy knows) chiefly
in the islands called the Hawkneys.
The Race for Wealth.—Jews.