Punch (62.1872)

February 3, 1872.]

AFTER THE PARTY.

Mater {aroused by the Horse pulling up). " Whit's the Matter, Guidman ?—Onything Wrang ? "

Pater (bringing his Faculties to a Focus). " Let us just Consuder the recent Circumstances. Was oor John in the i ig

when we S'tartet frab ardrisha1g ?"

OWLS THAT IS NOT HORGANS.

Mr. Punch has—need he say it ?—the
profouudest admiration for the skill and
zeal of the great Healers who have con-
ducted H.R.H. the Prince op Waxes
out of the region of bulletins. But he
hopes that shuuld any member of the
Royal Family again need medical ad-
vice (which good fortune forefend for
many a long day), no name belonging to
a member of the illustrious trio may be
signed to the affiches. It was not for
Mr. Punch to complain while bulletins
issued, but now all else is happiness, he
makes his moan, or rather (as Mr. Roe-
buck says Birmingham is always doing)
makes his howl. How many thousand
idiots have sent Mr. Punch jests on the
names of the Doctors, he cannot say, but
the changes have been rung, ad nauseam,
on a " Jennerous diet," a Lowe fever,"
a "bird of good omen—a Gull," until

But not one goose was gratified; ha! ha! Fire, not vanity,
was fed. Still, Mr. Punch has suffered; and therefore he begs
leave to suggest that all the three Doctors be raised to the Peerage.
They have richly deserved it, and so has Sir James Paget (whose
name happily does not help the small wits) ; but Mr. Punch's
comfort is the thing to be considered. N.B. He likes to give those
who are "blest in not being simple men" an occasional peep—as
thus—at the circumjacent world of donkey ism.

GUILDED LADIES.

Ladies, look at this proposal to pro-
mote what some of you may call the
millineryennium:—

" A Guild of Ladies is proposed to be formed
to promote modesty of dress to do away with
extravagance, and substitute the neatness and
sobriety suitable to Christian women."

A guild formed to promote the sobriety
nf women ought to nave Sir Wilfrid
Lawson for a patron, and should be
supported by every Teetotaller now
living in the land. But the sobriety
here mentioned is that of dress, not
drink ; and total abstinence from finery
and flummery of fashion is doubtless
the chief aim of the promoters of the
guild. Well, if they succeed in re-
Oor John" was in the Gig—when they i ducing even chignons to reasonable
Started / i dimensions, they will deserve the thanks

j of every one afflicted with good taste; and
1 if they further are successful in reducing
the enormous bills which ladies owe their milliners, they will earn the
heartfelt gratitude of many a poor husband, who can ill afford to
pay them. All is not gold that glitters, but we may guess there is
true metal, and not merely specious glitter, in these Guilded Ladies.

Mrs. Maxaprop has lately been studying Latin, with success.
But, as a good Church-woman, she cannot hold with the rule
Festina lente. She disapproves of feasting in Lent.

French and British Budgets.

M. Thiers has been censured by some of our contemporaries for
his fiscal policy of seeking to impose heavy duties on raw materials.
At any rate, however, France will not be saddled (like an ass) with
an Income-tax ; so the taxation to which that country will be sub-
jected, will be comparatively light, even if it should have the effect of
making butchers' meat as frightfully dear there as it is in England.