Punch (62.1872)

February 10, 1872.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

55

" BREAKING THE ICE."

Gentleman (to Pensive Neighbour during the Quarter of an Hour before Dinner). "Miss Wilkin

eon, you look SaP. perhaps you RE TlRED ? "

Lady. "0 No, Thank tou."
Gentleman. " Or Unwell ?"

SOLDIERS OR SUPERNUMERARIES?

The late Sir John Burgoyne, in a re-
cently published letter, expressed his
opinion that the Volunteers are " a patriotic
force, deserving great credit and encourage-
ment," for the reason that " they may be
of immense value among the measures for
the military protection of the country."
When, however, the illustrious Field-
Marshal, of whom all that was mortal now
rests in St. Peter - ad -Vincula, said the
Volunteers might be of immense value,
he hardly spoke in measured terms. For,
speaking within bounds, he went on to
say that "the service demanded of them
should" from the nature of their case,
" be of the simplest nature," and defined
those services to be garrison-duty, and
fighting behind fortifications.

The Post collates this appraisement of
the Volunteers with Naj?oleon's saying
that he wanted " soldiers " in the field, but
that "men" would suffice for the simple
service to which Sir John Burgoyne
limited the use of Volunteers. "Well, but
if the Volunteers are no better than " men,
mortal men " (as another Sir John than
that one described his regiment) and
"food for powder," what of another branch
of the British land forces, on which we
have been led to place reliance ; namely,
the Militia ? Are those gallant fellows
better instructed, better drilled, and more
intelligent than the other; are they equally
with them able to "fill a pit as well as
better," and may we venture to trust that
one pit which they are capable of filling
is a rifle-pit ?

anatomy extraordinary.

Mrs. Malaprop says she was once bled
Lady. "0 deak, No !" in the same place as Roger Tichborne—

Gentleman (in desperation). " Then—you must be Hungry l" j in the temporary artery.

BILL AND BUDGET.

Never mind though in two hundred millions, or more,

We be cast by perverse arbitration,
For " the People " will have to pay none of the score ;

'Twill be all raised by partial taxation.
0 ye million, those millions will touch none of you,

That of Income-tax pay not a penny ;
To discharge Alabama claims fear not the screw

Will be put on "the Masses " and " Many."

When we've hundreds of millions spent war to avert,

And more millions in war spent thereafter
Forced to fight after all, having had to eat dirt,

Sight of scorn to the world—food for laughter,
Still the People may sing ; the derisive contempt

Of mankind they '11 put up with like sages :
From war charges to Yankee Bill added, exempt—

They can lose but their work and their wages.

NONCONFORMITY TO ANYTHING.

All alone had the Income-tax payers to pay Ihe generality of persons consider that any religion is better than

Abvssinian war's total expenses ; none; but those Dissenters whc.have: now changed their old

And the honour they have, by themselves, to defray demand for unsectarian ' to a demand for secular education

Those incurred for the nation's defences. : aPjjear to be verF much.> on tbf contrary, of opinion that no religion

Upon you, should our suit at Geneva be lost, » better than an? religion, unless it be their own. But how much

The untoward result of that action <** any religion have those allies of educational secularists got?

Can no burden entail; thev, whatever the cost, Nonconformists m general are commonly called Religious Dis-

Are doomed solely to make satisfaction. senters; " but those Nonconformists m particular seem to be more

j accurately deseribable as Irreligious Dissenters. lheir Dissent

Very likely 'twere cheaper at once to risk fight ^ou}^ seen} to be. Dissent toto ccelo. Those particular Dissenters can

Than to venture a ruinous payment, hardly me^de. m th£lr number any who are not altogether the
Which would serve but to arm the unquenchable spite

Of the cunning, unscrupulous claimant.
For we fools having paid those 'cute Yankees in full

An indemnity heavy as France's,
A fresh quarrel they 'd pick, and to war with John Bull,

Go supplied by himself with finances.

We put down Ireland's Protestant Church; for Home Rule

Get a howl, of thanks Paddy's expression.
And what Statesman that's honest, not being a fool,

Ever hoped more from that large concession ?
He who thinks to conciliate serpents, mistakes,

When with malice and envy they 're frantic:
Deadly vengeance alone will sate such as some snakes

On this side, and beyond, the Atlantic.

" CIVILISATION AT ST. PAUL'S."

This was the startling heading of an article which appeared a
few days ago in the Times. What could it mean P men asked.
What traces of lingering barbarism had been detected and effaced
within the walls of the national Cathedral ? Some readers surmised
that the fees had been abolished; others asserted that the monu-
ments were never again to be allowed to get dusty and dirty: while
a few were sanguine enough to hope that the Corporation of London
and the wealthy City Companies had undertaken the restoration and
decoration of St. Paul's at their own expense. After all, it was found
that nothing more was meant than the delivery, by the Dean, of the
last of a series of lectures on " Civilisation " in the Cathedral.