Punch (62.1872)

May 25, 1872.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

211

THE JURY-LA,W VICTIM.

{Dedicated to the Attorney-General.)

Summoned to serve on a Jury!

0, I shall go to the had !
Driven, with distraction and fury,

Ruin in prospect, stark mad.
Dragged from the work that's my living,

Other men's business to mind,
I shall no thought have for giving

Save to my own, left behind.

Truly to try they may swear me,

Off mine employment when torn ;
Whilst my anxieties tear me,

What can I be but forsworn ?
Counsel will vainly harangue me.

Witness depose all in vain,
Judge's charge—though he could hang me-

Nought of my mind will obtain.

As for all criminal cases,

1 shall the prisoner acquit,
Like a deaf man's while my place is ;

Give him the doubt's benefit.
And in all civil, as hearing

Not either side what they say,
I shall toss up, that appearing

Nearest for me the right way.

If you'd have juries attention

Pay your confounded affairs,
Press men by fortune, or pension,

Freed from life's personal cares.
Idle is all adjuration

When the adjured are not free.
So much for the administration

Of justice you '11 get out of me!

THE MORNING CONCERT.

Swell (doesn't care for Music himself). " My dear, is thts— ah—(yawns)
Te-dium ovar ?" ! !

Strike to Some Purpose.—So the Builders threaten
another strike, do they ? What a blessing it would be,
particularly to some inhabitants of the suburbs of
London, if they were to strike altogether !

several small portions would afford to any one person! It could
HOW TO LEAVE MONEY. only excite in the mind of the recipient a faint and transient emo-
. . , . . _ , , , tion of gratitude, and, instead of a blessing, would be as likely as
Ant opulent gentleman with a taste for beneficence, and capable not to evoke a kuss because it wasn't more. At best, happiness in
of wishing to be gratefully remembered when, on any probable such a case is all frittered away. Concentrate then, kind capitalists,
supposition,, whatever he may be_ conscious of, he will not know in making your wills, all your posthumous bounty, if you desire
whether he is remembered or not, is able to solace his last moments truly to bless and be blest. A fico for diffusive benevolence!
with the hope of creating a large sum of human happiness by means Unless you were once poor, you cannot perhaps imagine the beati-
ot a corresponding sum ot money, or its equivalent in real property. | tude you could confer by bequeathing some anxious earner of a
Whosoever, about to depart this world, and leave the greatest of its smau uncertainty the unspeakable comfort and enjoyment of a sure
blessings, wealth, in large quantity behind him, would like to leave and. certain independence. You may, if you choose, have it ex-
it m such wise as to constitute a real blessing to somebody, and plained to you, and beat Pp^htw
possibly cause that legatee now and then to bless the name of his x&axuvi.
testator, should imitate an example recorded in the Bristol Times. LThe Loafer who wrote the foregoing remarks enclosed his card

It is that of a " well-known and, during his lifetime, public-spirited with them.—Ed.] _

tradesman of Bristol," who lately died very rich. People thought 1 -

that the bulk of his property would, in reversion after his child- PPAISE WORTHY,
less widow, go between his poor relations, who are very numerous,

and the remainder amongst local charities :— A Manchester paper tells us this : —

" Great disappointment, however, was caused on the opening of the will; " Prescot Petty Sessions.—Yesterday, Joseph Ashton, charged with

for, after leaving a very modest provision for his widow, he gives instructions violently assaulting his wife and threatening to cut her throat, was fined £2

that an illegitimate son of his (whom he does not appear to have recognised and costs,—Samuel Hunt, for stealing a coat, the property of William

in his lifetime) should be sought for, and, when found, sent to school, thence M'Donnell, was sent to prison for four months."

to the University, a very liberal sum being set apart for that purpose. After M Punch reioicps to finrl that the Prescot Magistrates so clearly

this, and when he comes to manhood, he is to have all the accumulated for- ■ / mlc!\ rejoices to Una tnat tlie rrescot Aiagisirares so cieai.y

tune, which will then, it is estimated, amount to over £100,000. The heir to understand the law, and so admirably carry it out. Perhaps they

this large sum having been sought for, has, we hear, just been found in a ! were a little hard upon Mr. Ashton, who might have been let off

neighbouring workhouse." with a slighter fine, having the costs to pay; but nothing could have

if tD \,ao „+f •„ a „„„„ c -j. -u i j ii i jr been more proper than the sentence on the desperate and atrocious

tvlLllu J iT^ wKV reafon,it may be feared that the miscreant ^ t the ivi him a /ar instead of four

hSliSjL J rlK f& 5 i m havf%bf7 TnV. /innynoo ™™ths- But the great principle of British'Law is maintained,

intelligence ot being, from a pauper, constituted heir to £100,000, „■ , • . f*- p, 1

may have deposed reason from its throne. Sad indeed it is if excess ± iat Jaimia' ruutjoemma .

of gladness has but removed him from a workhouse to an asylum. ---—

No such lamentable thing hath, however, appeared ; and the grati- sPacn^flhle Literature

fication of imagining, the ecstasies of bliss in which, very likely, beasonabie literature.

that fortunate youth is at this moment dancing, is still possible to We see a new book advertised called Poppies in the Corn. This

the heart of one that can feel for another. j may very likely be an entertaining work. But the title seems in

Now suppose all that money which he has had left him divided May a trifle premature. One more sensational perhaps, and better

among a whole host of poor relations and a number of charities, suited to the season, would, we apprehend, be Snails in the Aspara-

What a small and temporary amount of pleasure the receipt of its gus, or Slugs amid the Salad.