Punch (62.1872)

January 13, 1872.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAKIVAftl.

13

A STRAIGHTFORWARD VIEW.

High Church Curate. "And what do you Think, Mr Simpson, about a
Clergyman's Turning to the East ? "

Literal Churchwarden. " Well, Sir, my Opinion is, that if the Clergyman
is Goodlookin', he don't want to Turn his Back to the Congregation ! "

POKES IN PANTOMIMES.

Non omnia possumus omnes ; we are not all Popes, nor
should we be omnipotent even if we were infallible. The
Daily News is a journal of ability ; but there is a certain
inconsistency, the cause of which it declares itself unable
to fathom: —

" That all personal allusions to the private lives of individuals
should be eschewed on the stage, we readily admit. Indeed,
we sympathise with Dr. Johnson, who, on hearing that Foote,
the actor, intended to imitate his mien and gestures, inquired
the price of a good thick stick ; but why, in the name of
common sense, when caricatures of Mr. Gladstone and Me.
Lowe weekly appear in humorous journals, and when scarcely a
day passes without these gentlemen being attacked in print on
account of one or other of their public acts, every harmless joke
upon their official doings should be expunged from the panto-
mimes, surpasses comprehension."

Our excellent contemporary forgets that there is in
theatres a place called the Gallery. This place is occu-
pied by a peculiar description of audience and spec-
tators. In the theatre, by physical position, they con-
stitute the higher orders, but in common talk are
contrariwise named. Of old, bloated aristocrats were
wont ironically to style them the Gods." Enlightened
Statesmen, however, with a just appreciation of their
value as British voters, use to call them the People. Now
the People of the Gallery are not accustomed to read
humorous journals in which caricatures of the People's
William, and the People's Robert, appear weekly. If
they were, it would be necessary for the humorous
journals to be very careful in caricaturing those popular
Ministers, lest caricatures should endanger their popu-
larity. The People of the Gallery are our flesh and
blood, but they are as yet uneducated, and apt to take
jokes too seriously. If the Clown in a Pantomime were
to tread upon a match-box, and get blown up sky-high,
or if, assisted by the Pantaloon, he presented a working
man in an arsenal with a sack, these performances, to the
occupants of the boxes indeed, would be harmless jokes,
but the effect produced by them in the electoral way
would probably be mischievous, in a gallery filled with
friends and relations of match-venders and dockyard
labourers.

The Best Tonic.

The Doctors disapprove of alcohol, but they are as
alive as ever to the cheering effect of " good spirits " on
their patients.

drawn their names this season, and have transferred their subscrip-
PEOBABLE INTELLIGENCE. tions to the Humane Society.

Among the measures likely to be introduced by Government
The Chancellor of the Exchequer, being thoroughly convinced are : (1) a Bill for the Reduction of the Prices charged by Butchers ;
of the injustice of the Income-tax, is maturing a measure for its (2) a Bill to Compel Londoners to Clean their Streets in Dirty
total abolition. To prove that he is perfectly sincere in the task he Weather; and (3) a Bill to Disafforest Primrose Hill and the
undertakes, he has resolved to throw up office if the tax again be 1 Brighton Cliffs and Racecourse.

voted. The First Lord of the Admiralty has been taking a few lessons in

Mr. Aybton is engaged in studying the Fine Arts, with a view to , political navigation, with the view, upon emergency, of taking chief
being able to lecture Lord Elcho and others on the subject, and j command of the vessel of the State.

also to defend the action of the Government in resisting all attempts ! It is considered highly probable that, following the good example

to improve the National Gallery.

In the fear lest His Holiness be forced to quit the Vatican, Mr.
Whalley, M.P., has written, very generously, to offer his own
residence as an asylum for the Pope, while exiled from his kingdom.

It is proposed, at the conclusion of the Tichborne trial, to treat
the Judge and Jury to a trip upon the Continent, in order to prevent
them from becoming monomaniacs, through having their minds
occupied so long with one subject.

It is considered almost certain that M. Thiers will seize a very
early opportunity to vacate his seat, as President, in favour either of
the Comte de Paris or of M. Gambetta.

The game slaughtered at the battues of eleven noble sportsmen
(all members of the Legislature), has been carefully distributed
among the East-End poor.

It has been ascertained, by an accurate survey in London and the
provinces, that no fewer than one pantomime has been produced
this season, without containing any humorous allusion to " the
Claimant."

Mr. Gladstone has received one hundred and twelve letters, from

of some Dramatic Managers, certain Barristers and Doctors in the
very highest practice intend to decorate their waiting-rooms with
little placards of " No Fees ! "

JUST A HINT.

Is there not a bit of Sydney Smith's, wherein that divine, de-
scribing a Scottish rising against English tyranny, says that Sawney
betook himself to the heather, and, having scratched himself with
one hand, and cast up an account with the other, suddenly waxed
furious, and drew his sword ? We hope that certain Transatlantic
friends of ours will not bring in so tremendous a bill against us, as
to make it cheaper for us to fight than to pay. For we love them
very much, but we are obliged to be awfully economical in tbese
Gladstonian days.

Mathematical Intelligence.

Peterborough, Hanwell, Colney Hatch, and other places, asking for It would puzzle a Senior Wrangler to find out how to square a

a confirmation of the rumour that his great-great-grandmother
embraced the Jewish faith.

More than a hundred noble members of the Gun Club have with- square.

circle. Yet Tomkins Junior says that, though he is only twelve
years old, he will back himself on any given morning to get round a