Punch (62.1872)

Apbil 13, 1872 i PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

149

A REMINISCENCE OF EASTER.

'F Y* shee ANYTHING ShTRORDINARY ABOUT me, tee won'T mind—(__*_.■'»

itsh'olidat Time, yer know."

EASTER MONDAY MANOEUVRES.
(Hawfinch sings.)

Easter Monday, unto Brighton

What for went ye ont to zee ?
Volunteers' Review- sham-tightun' —

Too fur distant sight for rne.
I, if 't'adn't ben no furder

Off nor Poachmouth, med ha' gone,
'Gainst invasion, robbery, murder,

Curous how our 'fence gits on.

Thee, I says, young man, that larnest

How to vight for native land,
In sham-fightun', as in arnest,

Always thee obey command.
Dwun't now, dwun't, on the contrairy,

Useless powder blaze away,
All the moor unnecessairy

When thee 'st got no foes to slay.

If they wun't obey their tasker,

Scollards must at times break down ;
Make what some calls a fiasker

In your lingo up in Town.
There! the mess warn't so distressun'

As 'tood be in reglar fight.
Next time they repates their lessun,

Very like they '11 do un right.

Wust of all neglectun' order

Is not mindun' where to stop,
Breakun droo forbidden border,

Tramp-a-raavun o'er a crop.
For they sham-fights no improvers

Of the land be, to be sure ;
Wuss than sarious war's manoovers,

Laves no copses for manoor.

Foreigners, if they attacked us,

Fellers as 'ood wish to beat,
Stands to rason they must practus ;

'Tis a prutty zight to zee !t.
Now, too, they've britch-loaders, bolder

Folks can view 'un nor afore,
'Cause they can't shoot no beholder :

Fire no ramrods off no more.

JURY REFORM. FOLLIES OF THE FASHIONS.

„ . „ . . , , , , J „ , , I Common sense is the last thing we should expect to find in any

The Attorney-General has promised to look to the amendment book of fashi0ns. So we are not a bit surprised by the following

■of the law relative to J uries, which at present renders a man who is announcement:_

away from home, and possibly gone abroad, liable, if summoned to

serve on a jury in his absence, and thereby prevented from attend- " Toilettes depromenade are now made to touch the ground, and at tunes
ing, to be fined from one to ten pounds. This liability is a remnant are even worn witl1 a aemie traine.'

of oppression imposed by absolute tyranny on the middle classes, 1 ^ pretty foot and ankle are by no means the least admirable parts
and never repealed because those classes have not been accustomed 0f female beauty, and we cannot but regret that dresses should be
to hold intimidation meetings in Hyde Park and Trafalgar Square. made to render them invisible. Short skirts permitted feet and

For one thing m the reform of Jury Law, Sir Robert Collier ankles to be decorously seen, and, moreover, allowed ladies to walk
will doubtless propose a due extension of the obligation of serving cleanly and in comfort. Dresses made to touch the ground, and
on Juries over other persons besides those now alone subject to it. even trail upon it, will not merely conceal what is delightful to
Among those persons it may be suggested that he should include behold, but will draggle in the dirt, and be a little unseemly,
persons of the other sex. His best plan would be to make service , Whene'er they take their walks abroad, ladies will perform the work
compulsory for spinsters, allowing married women the privilege of 0f crossing-sweepers; and when they reach their homes will need,
feeing represented by their husbands: a husband, also, if summoned, ere they go in, to clean their skirts upon their door-scrapers,
to be permitted to send his wife as a substitute.______

There is no reason to suppose that twelve women in a box would,
whatever verdict they might return in any case, not acquit them- p . , , pussv

selves at least as well as twelve men of corresponding average in jrresiaenx _-ussy.

point of intelligence, or that if any number of women were em- Thiers on Rome Priest-Rule, would, if he could,

panelled on juries there would ensue any increase whatsoever in the Reiix ; meanwhile holds France from domineering,

present per-centage of ridiculous decisions and failures of justice. j Letting " I dare not" wait upon " I would,"

The rights which women quite reasonably demand of a Legislature "Like the poor cat i' the adage," fain, but fearing.

which has enfranchised almost every fool in the Kingdom out of a____

madhouse or a gaol, they might obviously claim with additional

justice if at the same time they offered to undertake the correlative Mordecai.
duties. A deputation of ladies will perhaps wait on Mr. Gladstone, j

conjuring him, by his respect for the dignity of his own flesh and At the Pomona Gardens' demonstration, Bacup enjoyed the proud
blood, and in order to their attainment of their due political rights, distinction of exhibiting the most attractive banner. The portrait
to make his Attorney-General effectually provide for their subjec- of Mr. Disraeli which adorned it was made more memorable by this
tion to the sweet yoke of service as jurywomen. It may then be inscription " The man whom we delight to honour"—an appropriate
expected that, before next Michaelmas, the Jury Lists on the church J motto, but one which might have been improved by the alteration
doors will include the name of every lady in the parish of full age, : of one word, causing the legend to read, " The man whom we
under sixty ; that will be, probably, without exception. > delight to Backup."