Punch (62.1872)

64

EDUCATIONAL EPIGRAMS.

About the Three R'a views unite

As voices blend in song.
For the Fourth II, what some hold right,

That all folk else deem wrong.

Of those Fourth R's as yet while none

The right R proved can be.
To teach them all, therein where one,

Why can't good folk agree ?

n.

Milk is for babes, wrote one that knew.
Sectarian Educators, you

Who dogmas teach which Doctors question,
Are you not giving babes strong meat,
So much too tough for them to eat.

The upshot must be indigestion ?

THE CONNOISSEURS.

Groom. " Whew's Beer do you Like Best—this 'ere Hom'brewed o'
Fisk's, or that there Ale they gives yer at the White Ho s' ?"

Keeper (critically). "Well, o' the Tew I prefers this 'ere. That there
o' Wum'oods's don't Fare 10 me to Taste o' Nawthun at all. Now this
'ere dew Taste o' the Cask ! ! "

AN OBJECT OF SYMPATHY.

Can a man murder his wife ? The point seems doubt-
ful, to judge by the common experience of the Courts,
and thai general tone of public opinion, when a charge
for this questionable offence is under consideration or
comment. On the whole, it would seem to be desirable
that we should cease to use the term " Murder" of Wife-
killing, and create a special term for that offence—if
offence it can be called. May we suggest either " Wife-
icide," or " Spousi-cide," or " Uxori-cide " ? It would
be the correlative, in cases of feminine life-taking, of
"justifiable homicide " in the case of male.

It was very touching to observe the general expression
of newspaper sympathy with an individual lately con-
victed for having pushed a little too far, perhaps, the
natural feeling of exasperation and impatience with a
wife who may safely be assumed to have been a very
aggravating person. "Poor monomaniac," "unfor-
tunate gentleman," and so forth, are terms which
testify to the natural tenderness of the public feeling
towards one who is subjected to such painful conse-
quences for so venial an act of temporary irritation.

We are glad to see that this touching and well-directed
sympathy is conhned to this unfortunate victim of a
rash impulse. As for the woman who provoked him, we
observe only a considerate silence, or the expression of a
feeling equivalent to the well-known Cornish verdict—
" Sarved her right."

NEWS EttOM NAP1.ES.

Mr. Punch received a letter stating that in the writer's opinion it
might interest Mr. P.'s readers to know the state of the weather in
Naples. If there be one thing in the world nobody out of Naples
cares one farthing about, Mr. Punch supposes that thing to be
mentioned above. But, respice finem. Oa examining the report
enclosed by his Correspondent, Mr. Punch discovers that the subject
is very interesting indeed. Here is the faithful reprint of an
official document supplied to the Naples Observer. Emphatically
we call the weather in question queer weather. We omit barometers
and thermometers, and all that stuff.

A MODEST DEMAND.

The season might be milder—it could hardly be more malevolent.
But here is mildness :—

A"WIDOWER f middle ag-, of qui' and legulir habi.s, who has
three children at boarding school, desires a HOME in the house of an
independent Christian widow or single lady, whose object in letting apart-
ments is chiefly society, who would accept merely nominal terms, and. where
he would be the only lodger. Nice house and servant desirable.—Addre.-s,
with every particular, &c, &c.

What a charming person must this advertiser be, if we may judge
from the high value which he sets on his society! No doubt he has
State of the Weatherjn Naples_ from the 6th to the Ibeeu deluged with replies to his advertisement. What independent

lady could possibly decline to offer him the home which he so modestly
demands, and to sacrifice her independence by accepting him as
lodger, first, and fiaally as lord, as soon as he inclined to offer her
his heart? "Beware of widows, Sammy!" said the elder Mr.
Weller. Beware of widowers, ladies ! adds the wiser Mr. Punch.

date.

observation's.

Jan. 6
„ 7
v 8
„ 9
„ 10

11

12

R-iin and p. m
Rain right Clouded day.
Rain right off on day.
Heag rain thurdestorm rain d.
Heag rain swig right.
Clouded day.
Brig/tth day.

Spiritualism for Sailors.

The Weather and the Paths.

Foul weather ! Come on, my Macintosh
And my Boots ; we '11 never mind it,

While the rain the face of the Earth doth wash,
Though the dirtier still we find it.

Mb. Vernon Lushington, Permanent Secretary to the Admiralty, ! Fresh women of the Future,

-speaking of that body of naval administrators, doubtless, with j It is proposed to transfer the Ladies' College to Cambridge. This
knowledge and in sincerity, calls it a " Phantom Board." A Board ! addition, if made, to Alma Mater will, in case of future contro-
of Phantoms may be said to be a Board of Ghosts, and such a Board. I versy between disorderly undergraduates and other inhabitants, be
of Admiralty sending British seamen afloat in rotten Megceras, is a ! obviously an advantage over Town in favour of Gown. For even
Board of Ghosts with power to add to their number. the Graduates and Dons of the gentler sex will all be Gownswomen.