Punch (62.1872)

68

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 11. ioJ2.

Speech must have been vilely transcribed for him, or he had not
studied it. As it is now the fashion to make every possible charge
against Government, Mr. Punch delightedly shies his stone, and
asks what is to be said for a Cabinet that can't even get a Queen's
Speech properly read ?

Not that the Speech was worth much elocution, for it was composed
in a style that would have made William Cobbett (they've been
erecting a memorial to him somewhere) lay about the authors with
his thickest cudgel. Also, according to the Premier, paragraphs
had got misplaced. This is the way the Nation is served. However,
let us preserve our sweet temper ; we shall want it all, and more.

The heads of the Speech were these:—

1. Thanks for the restoration of the health of the Prince of

Wales, and announcement of Thanksgiving therefor, in
St. Paul's, on the 27th of February.

2. Foreign relations in all respects satisfactory.

[ With an exception, your Majesty.

3. The name of the British Empire is dishonoured by slave-

trading practices in the South Seas, and a preventive
measure is promised.

[Dishonoured is much too "gushing" a word, Mr.
Gladstone.

4. France is objecting to Free Trade, but we are not to quarrel.

5. This must be given in full. The Queen says :—

" The Arbitrators appointed pursuant to the Treaty of Washing-
ton, for the purpose of amicably settling certain claims known as
the Alabama Claims, have held their first meeting at Geneva.
Cases have been laid before the Arbitrators on behalf of each party
to the Treaty. In the case so submitted on behalf of the United
States large claims have been included, which are understood on
my part not to be within the province of the Arbitrators. On this
subject, I have caused a friendly communication to be made to the
Government of the United States."

[May it be received in friendship, your Majesty.

6. The "Emperor of Germany" [is that His Majesty's

title, Lord Granville ?] is to arbitrate on the St. Juan
Water Boundary.

7. Ireland has been free from Serious Crime. [Are there Comic

Crimes, and are the frequent agrarian outrages so desig-
nated ?] Her trade improves.

[Several of her Patriots are for sale, one hears.

8. Crime and the number of criminals in Great Britain have

diminished.

9. The Estimates will be suitable to the Circumstances of the

Country. [Nothing about Economy,

10. Revenue satisfactory. Pauperism decreasing.

11. Among the measures of the Session are to be Bills for Scotch
Education, Mines Regulation [at last.'], on the Liquor
Question [Aha! Mr. Bruce?], for improving the Superior
Courts of Justice and Appeal, for establishing Secret Voting,
for repressing Corrupt Election Practices, and for doing
something in a Sanitary direction.

12. Parliament will be Assiduous, and the Sovereign will rely
on i*s Energy, and on the Loyalty of the People.

[In the latter, Mr. Punch assures your Majesty that
every confidence may be reposed. The former he
hopes to stimulate.

In the afternoon the Houses, which had adjourned, met again,
and in the Lords Earl de la Warr (a brave soldier) moved the
Address, which was seconded by Viscount Powerscourt (a compli-
ment to Ireland) ; and the Duke of Richmond, for the Opposition,
was not very severe. He hoped that we should be spared all sensa-
tional and revolutionary legislation. The Foreign Minister, Earl
Granville (we regret to say, leaning on a crutch, having gallantly
declined the Duke's kindly advice to speak sitting) made some con-
ciliatory remarks, but was soon obliged to resume his seat. Lord
Derby was glad that we were to have a quiet Session, thought that
rose-coloured views of Ireland were taken, but supposed that Go-
vernment, having alienated the Protestants, did not wish to alienate
the Catholics also. He enlarged on Government " carelessness" on
the American question, but distinctly declared that we are bound
by nothing but what we intended to offer. Let us, however, be very
courteous.

In the Commons heaps of Notices were given, but sufficient for
the night is the wrangle thereof. We shall take them as they
come, and as Mr. Thomas Moore says, in Lalla Rookh,—
" Woe to the File that foremost wades."

Mr. Strutt, arrayed as a Leicestershire Yeoman—no, as one of
the Yeomanry—moved the Address, which was seconded by Mr.
Colman, in the new court dress. Small wits might hint at
Strutt's Sports and Pastimes, and Colman's Broad Grins, but as
both gentlemen spoke with becoming gravity, the allusion would be
frivolous and impertinent.

Mr. Disraeli said that Ministers had been passing the recess in a

Blaze of Apology, so that Members had been unable to refresh their
faculties by forgetting anything. He criticised several bits of the
Speech, but not bitterly. He did not think the American paragraph
adequate to the occasion., He himself had always sought to cherish
cordial relations between England and America. The Government,
and not diplomatists, were responsible for what had been done. He
spoke at considerable length on this subject, and urged the Ministers
to be very frank with the House, as it would be fatal to get into a
Serbonian Bog of Darkness. We need hardly add that Mr. Dis-
raeli's references to the Prince of Waxes were in the best taste.

Mr. Gladstone would be ready, at the proper time, to defend
everything the Cabinet had done. He alluded eloquently to the
Prince of Wales, and stated a firm conviction that the peril
through which H. R. H. had passed would leave an enduring mark
on his heart. On the American question the Premier spoke in a
very determined way, declaring that there was but one mode in
which the Treaty could be interpreted, and that at no time had
Government acceded to a document under which the vast and un-
warrantable claim of the States could be pressed. We shall demand
to be " let off," or we shall fall back on our right to withdraw from
the Arbitration. The claim is one which no nation in the possession
of its senses could admit even in the last extremity.

Two Irish Members having emitted the conventional grumble that
Oireland was neglected, the first night of the Session was over.

Wednesday.—Mr. Denison, the Speaker, explained that after
nearly Fifteen Years of service his health compelled him to resign.
Very pleasant things were said to him, provisionally, by Mr. Glad-
stone and Sir John Pakington.

Mr. Bernal Osborne spoke out, more suo, and taunted the
Cabinet with having been outwitted by smart American lawyers,
against whom they ought to have sent out a shrewd attorney. He
called the Treaty " an infamous document." Not one sixpence,
however, he declared, amid loud cheers, would Parliament ever vote
in payment of the Indirect Claims.

Sir Wilfrid Lawson, on the Liquor question, rather neatly
asked whether Mr. Bruce were going to cast in his lot with the Public
or with the Publicans.

Mr. Gladstone replied to Mr. Osborne and sundry other
Members, somewhat qualifying his language of the previous night,
but declaring that we should appeal to Grammar, and to the
Doctrine of Intention.

Mr. Bruce's Bill is to be as stringent as that of last year. Mr.
Punch mildly whispers, " Hooray for a Bar-Fight."

Thursday.—In the Lords, Earl Stanhope, intending to lead the
battle on the great Collier Acrobatic Feat, demanded and obtained
papers. Mr. Cross, a Conservative lawyer, gave notice of similar
attack in the Commons.

Mr. Milbank wished to have it out with Sir Charles Dllke for
his republican speeches, but the Speaker ruled that this would be
irregular. However, the former intends to manage it.

To-day Mr. Gladstone, with happy eloquence, moved the vote of
thanks to the retiring Speaker, and Mr. Disraeli, with as fortunate
selection of epithet, seconded the motion. Mr. Denison will
become Viscount Ossington, but will not accept the usual pension.
[We wonder what bvs successor, the Hon. Mr. Brand—long a
popular and capital whip—will do when he resigns amid general
regret. For he is heir presumptive to the title of Dacre, which dates
from 1307.] The Speaker made brief and touching response, not
forgetting a gentleman's tribute to Sir Erskine May, Chief at the
Table of the House. Long and loud cheering marked the passing of
the Vote. To Mr. Denison, Mr. Punch gives Benison, and
au revoir, up-stairs.

Some debate, with a clever and practical speech by Mr. Torrens,
as to the best way of neglecting the business of the House.

The Ballot Bill was introduced by Mr. Forster, and the Corrupt
Practices Bill by the Attorney-General, who had begged a
holiday from the Tichborne Case.

Friday.—The House of Commons received the Queen's gracious
permission to elect a New Speaker. Sir Roundell Palmer, in a
speech that, for its scholarly symmetry and grace of phrase, deserves
to be called an oration, proposed the Right Honourable Henry
Bouverie William Brand, with generous but discriminating
laudation of that gentleman's public and private merits. Mr.
Locke King seconded the motion, introducing his hope that Mr.
Brand would contrive some means of abbreviating debates. At
this arose some murmur. Mr. Brand, with due depreciation of his
qualities and abilities, submitted to the will of the Commons, and
was, according to ancient form, conducted, he gently resisting, to
the Chair. Thence, the Speaker Elect returned thanks, and pro-
mised to do his duty to the best of his power. The Premier then
formally, but earnestly, congratulated his old friend, and stated that
he was to be presented on the following Monday to the Queen, who
would ratify the choice of her faithful Commons. Mr, Punch will
receive Mr. Brand privately, and complete his inauguration, with
libation.