Punch (62.1872)

170

PUNCH, OR, THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[Apbil 27, 1872.

A WORM WILL TURN

Miss Cramfie (Governess at the Squire's, who plays the Organ at Church, and
coaches up the Choir). " Mk. Jorkins, you always take up that 'Lead' in
the Anthem so dreadfully Flat ! "

Mr. Jorkins (with a Modesty rare in a Tenor). " Well, we dew, Miss ; but— I have thought that all that would he necessary would he
you see Mr. Mangles and me ain't Sims Reeves, Miss ! " 1 that the witnesses should see htm.

A SMILE IN EXETER HALL.

King Stephen was a worthy Peer. So is the Earl of
Shaftesbury. Worthy of the Peerage everybody knows
him to be. But everybody does not know him to be
worthy of Punch. Know, therefore, everybody, by these
presents, how Punchworthy the noble Earl is. For hath
he not said the thing which is pleasant ? Tea, verily ;
and in Exeter Hall too. Therein, presiding, on Tuesday
night, last week, at the seven-and-twentieth annual
meeting of the Young Men's Christian Association,
and:—

" Speaking of an allusion made by the Eev. Hugh Hanna
to the possibility of some of the young men present being
elevated in the course of the next forty or fifty years to the
peerage, Lord Shaftesbury said he doubted whether the dema-
gogues of Trafalgar Square would allow that venerable assembly,
the House of Lords, to sit so long. But, in the event of the
proposal for the creation of life-peerages being again brought
forward, he should, he thought, move an address to the Queen,
praying that the two most notorious speakers on that point
should be created respectively Earl of Trafalgar Square
and Baron Hyde Park."

Is Lord Shaftesbury also among the jokers? There
were probably many amongst his Lordship's hearers to
whom that question presented itself in those words. It
may be answered that he is indeed. Dulce est desipere
in loco, and Exeter Hall is a locus, a locus in quo there
is such a deal of serious talking as to need being a little
enlivened occasionally by a flash of mild merriment.

The Cuckoo.

(Dr. Watts, adapted to an uncertain Spring time.)

'Tis the voice of the Cuckoo
I heard him come, plain ;

But he came here too soon,—
Shall I hear him again P

Rather 'Tother.

Serjeant Ballantine pleads as a reason for letting
the Claimant out on bail that, " as the question will be
one of his identity with Arthur Orton, it will be
necessary that he should see his witnesses." We should

Do you know what Local Taxation means ? Ratepayers, who
undergo it, do perfectly well, and do not " rejoice therefore." To-
night they made Sir Massey Lopez their champion. He explained
well, in fact

" Loosed all their bars of Massey light,"

and after a long debate, in which Mr. Stansfeld, for Government,
opposed him, he inflicted upon the said Government an extraordinary
defeat. He carried a resolution for the re-adjustment of such taxa-
tion by 259 to 159—majority against Ministers, One Hundred ! Of
course, heaps of Liberals stayed away, because they were ashamed
to sustain the present unrighteous system.

Wednesday.—Sir Selwtn Ibbetson had another Licensing Bill,
and Members talked over it, until the time for rising came. It will,
however, be considered alongside of the Government one, so no more
at present on either head.

Thursday.—The American question has, of course, cropped up
several times, but there is nothing particular to say on it, save that
Counter-cases have been exchanged, England utterly repudiating
the Indirect Claims.

It had been very emphatically stated by the Daily Telegraphthat
Prince Yon Bisharcx had sent to Paris an ultimatum, menacing a
renewal of the war, if the French persisted in arming hugely, with
intention of " revenge." Mr. Gladstone " believed" to-night that
no information to this effect had been received by the Government,
an answer by no means of a re-assuring sort. Nothing would sur-
prise us less than such action by Germany, only that France is her
debtor in an awful sum, and it is not wise in a creditor to jeopardise
his claims.

Now then.

" The cannon is pointed, and ready to roar,
And crumble the wall it had shaken before."

We resumed the Ballot. Mr. Vernon Harcourt, in refer-
ence to Mr. Leatham's amendment, proposed to put " with

corrupt intent" into the clause about displaying the paper. Mr.
Forster would not accept this, and Mr. Harcourt delivered one of
his best and most incisive speeches, making vast fun of Government
for insisting on such penalties as now absolutely and vitally neces-
sary, when they had not been inserted in the Bill the Lords had
been abused for throwing over. Mr. Leathaii stuck to his own
form, Liberal after Liberal opposed him, and Mr. Gladstone
advocated Mr. Leatham's amendment in the most earnest way.
But even Mr. Gilpin, one of the most sincere of Mr. Gladstone's
friends, abandoned him, as did Mr. Childers and Mr. Bouverie,
and on division the numbers were—for the Leatham motion, 246 ;
against it, 274 ; majority against Government, 28.

Mr. Gladstone, appealed to by Mr. Osborne, reproachfully called
the attention of his friends to the Tory cheers. He was ready to
part with the provision rather than part with the Bill. The latter
should be pressed with unabated vigour.

We should like to cite something magnificent and worthy of this
tremendous crisis. But we can recal nothing but Tom Hood's—

" What do you think of that, my Cat,
What do you think of that, my Dog ? "

Friday.—Parsons, Oysters, and Mussels occupied their Lordships
for a couple of hours. For the two former classes of our fellow-
creatures we have the utmost respect, especially when the parsons
give pearls and the oysters do not open their mouths indiscreetly.
But that the Peers of England should bemean themselves by men-
tioning Mussels!--we are ashamed of the Senate.

The wrongs of the Negroes in Cuba, of the Jews in Roumania,
and of the Biscuit-eaters in the Navy, occupied their Commoner-
ships. The latter subject prompts a Shakspearian parody, with
which Mr. Punch closes his ornate record :—

" The boy replied, ' An angel is not evil,

I should have feared her had she been a Weevil.' "

Love' $ Labour's Lest.