Punch (62.1872)

210

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[May 18, 1872.

Teacher. "What Bird did Noah send out of the Ark?" Smallest Boy in the Class {after a Pause). "A Dove, Sir."

Teacher. "Very Well. But I should have thought some of you Big Boys would have Known that!"
Tall Pupil. " Please, Sir, that Boy ought to Know, Sir, 'cause his Father's a Bird-Ketchek, Sir." ! ! !

ODD.

The Secretary op State foe. War. has been listening to what
a deputation from Hampstead had to say to him on the subject of
the proposed Military Depot Centre at that high and healthy
suburb. After Mr. Cardwell had made his own little speech, he
said (as appears by the Daily News) that the deputation would
perhaps hear " General M'Doodle." Accordingly the Deputation
did hear " General M'Doodle." We only refer to this interview
from a desire to elicit some information as to who this General
Officer is. Judging by his rather peculiar and unusual name, we
should say that he must be a Yankee Scotchman, or perhaps a
Scotch Yankee ; but probably some great military authority, with
the Army List at his fingers' ends, will be able to clear up the
difficulty without the necessity of a reference to the Horse Guards.

DOMESTIC BLISS.

Poem by a Paterfamilias.

Thrush, measles, scarlatina, small-pox, schooling,

Struggles to get your children on in life,
Have been your lot; when you've gone through your fooling,

Your boy must wed : your girl become a wife.

"Well for your daughter, if you cannot leave her

A living, and espoused she wealth eDjoy;
But for your son, delirious with Love's fever,

To rush into anxieties—poor boy !

Ladies in the Army.

Fact. The other day a Lady received a Commission from another
Lady. We know it included purchase, but the terms were not, we
believe, distinctly stated.

GOING BACK.

All of us, who are not natives of the Principality, have been too
ready to treat as a jest the belief which every Welshman is supposed
to entertain, that he can trace back his pedigree in a direct line to
Adam, or his immediate successors. We say this, because of the
advertisement of a publication which is entitled Annals and Anti-
quities of the Counties and County Families of Wales, and contains,
" in addition to a Record of all Ranks of the Gentry, Ancient Pedi-
grees, Old and Extinct Families, and Rolls of Sheriffs, Members of
Parliament, &c.,from the Beginning"

The wonder is, that all this information—we have ventured to
italicise the last three words of the quotation—can be got into two
volumes ; and, considering the costly researches which it must have
been necessary to make into post-diluvian and ante-diluvian rolls
and records, that the work can be supplied for the moderate sum of
three guineas.

The Two Graces.

" Grace was said before dinner by Archbishop Manning, and after dinner
by the Archbishop op Tokk."—{Literary Fund Banquet.')

Henceforth the respective titles of these hierarehs evidently
must be : of the one, Grace before meat; and of the other, Grace
after meat.

Caution to Commissioners.

The Commissioner and Deputy-Commissioner who, in order to
stamp out the Kooka mutiny, judged it necessary to send a number
of the insurgent Kookas to summary execution, nave been removed
by the Indian Government, one from their service, the other from
his Commissionership. In future, perhaps, Commissioners and
Deputy-Commissioners will mind how they stamp out mutinies.