Punch (62.1872)

234

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[June 8, 1872.

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

onday, May 28. —
Again did Me. Glad-
stone and Mr. Dis-
raeli face one an-
other, smiling at the
recollection of the
pleasant holidays they
had had, and looking
inclined to initiate the
post-Whitsun session
with a game of leap-
frog. At least such
is the idea of our
artistic young man,
and artists see a good
many things which
nobody else behold, as
the Academy testifies.

The spirit of fun,
however, certainly
presided, for the very
first piece of business
was the presentation,
by Me. Guildford
Onslow, of a petition
that no advantage
might be afforded to
the Crown, when pro-
secuting his friend
Castro, which that
person was not to re-
ceive. Itwasadivert-
ing demand, got up
^vtr in the Isle of Wight,
but we do not know

or

[By the way, why has no painter since Fuseli dared to depict this
splendid scene ? Why is it not shown at Burlington House ?
Why ? Because the public has no taste for grandeur, and prefers
to pay for pictures of " Baby breaking the pap-boat." " The first
toosey-poosey"—" Going to be vaccinated"—" Is um sick, den?"
and the like.] Mr. Gladstone moreover urged, that if the House
did anything, it ought to do a great deal more than merely
refuse to adjourn : it should adopt repressive action against Turf
scoundrelism.

Mr. Beresford Hope was the only Member who spoke really
good sense. Members believed that the House would rise on the
Derby Day, made arrangements accordingly, and ought not to be
inconvenienced.

The House voted, by 212 to 58 that it would go to the Derby.

Talk about the Autumn Manoeuvres—the date is to be chosen with
due regard to everybody's comfort. About South Africa, where
Mr. Fowler wishes to see a Confederation of States. All right—
we'll do anything for South Africa except drink her wines. About
a road between Queen's Square, Westminster and St. James's Street.
But Members wanted to go and hear about the betting, and to dine
in peace, so Mr. Cavendish Bentinck was Counted Out.

Wednesday.—The Derby Day. A capital day, very fiae, yet
cloudy enough to prevent our friend Helios from being unduly
attentive. Cremorne won by a short head. Many people won by
long heads.

Thursday.—A curious Welsh Anti-Popish demonstration. The
late Marchioness of Bute gave a site for a Church at Cardiff. The
Welsh folk do not attend it, chiefly it is said because no pains is
taken to secure the services of effective parsons. Irish Catholics
have swarmed in the district. So Lord Bute proposes to give the
Cardiff Protestants another church, elsewhere, if they will surrender
this one. The Bishop of the diocese thinks this a right arrange-
ment. But the fiery Welsh spirit boiled over. Radicals stood up
for the Church of England, and denounced this attempt at a dis-
establishment, and the Bill was thrown out by 172 to 153.
Final fight on the Ballot Bill, which came on for Third Reading.

, n . , , ,Tr n ,x i „„„„ .i „0nnmo™ Mr. Maguire wanted to re-commit the measure, in order to get rid

whether the Carisbrook Well Donkey was among the petitioners. q£ the arrangement by which entire Secresy ig made impossfble in

the case of the lowest and most ignorant class. But Mr. Forster

We imagine not, as he is rather a sagacious beast

To-night, and at various times during the week, Ministers were
severely questioned on the subject of the Washington Treaty.
They, that is Lord Granville and Mr. Gladstone^ made what
sort of no-answer they could, but it would not be profitable to re-
produce their replies. "Penultimate Muddle" would be a good
label for them.

Asked whether it were true that the Fenians still in gaol were to
be let out in honour of the Duke of Edinburgh's visit to Dublin,
Mr. Gladstone curtly responded—as a certain echo was reported to
have answered—" in the negative."

" Sentimentalists came forward, and soft mercy bade him show.
He repressed all maudlin feeling, and he sternly answered 'No.' "

Then we discussed the Navy Estimates, wrangled much, but
voted handsomely.

Tuesday.—Mr. Peter Taylor presented a petition signed by a
great many Ladies, who prayed that women and children might not
be protected by the use of" the Cat, which was a cruel thing, tending
to produce ill-feeling. It is very kind of these Ladies, who are not
in the slightest danger of being beaten, kicked, stamped upon, or
otherwise maltreated, to try to prevent the use of the only effectual
remedy for ruffianism. Such a demonstration shows the eminent
fitness of the petitioners for a share in legislation.

Mr. Gladstone moved that the House should adjourn over the
Derby Day.

Mh. Thomas Hughes opposed the Motion, denouncing the Turf
as a generator of all kinds of scoundrelism, and as something which
the House ought not to recognise. He stated that it led hundreds
of our youth to ruin, for the enrichment of the greatest scoundrels
unhung. If the House must patronise amusements, let them be of
an honest and noble kind, like rowing, cricket, and rifle-shooting.

Mr. Locke, who has usually something to say, had nothing better,
on this occasion, than a hope that the House would not take a

sanctimonious " course, a declaration that there were other roads

to ruin besides the Turf, and an allegation that Mr. Hughes used „rf,„0(1j

would have no more alterations. Mr. Newdegate fiercely denounced
the Bill as a boon to the Catholic Priests (some of whom, by the way,
have declared that they will use the Confessional as a means of
keeping their voters straight), and Mr. W. H. Smith protested
against an organic change in the Constitution. Sir Stafford
NoRTncoTE declared that it was un-English. After a spirited
defence of it by Mr. Forster, who asserted that the measure was
demanded by the constituencies, the Third Reading was carried by
274 to 216 ; majority, 58.

Friday— The Lords re-assembled, though they might have asserted
their right to a race-holiday, and gone to the Oaks. The House was
well filled, and there was an attendance of men of mark, who wished
to hear something about America. There was some rather close
questioning, and a good deal of dissatisfaction manifested.

Lord Granville declared that the honour of the country was
safe in the hands of the Government.

But still the Lords were displeased. Lord Westburt, indeed,
intimated in the pleasantest way that Three Charity Boys, of ten
years old, would have made a better treaty than that of Washington,
and he implied that the Ministers had not the least idea as to what
sort of a new bargain they were making, and he tenderly implored
them to consult their legal advisers as to whether the hole would not
be as open as ever, after all their exertions. However, Lord Gran-
ville would say no more than that proper explanations should be
given at the right time.

Punch suggests that Ministers had better act upon the hint of a
famous Scotch song :—

" If it wasna weel bobbit, weel bobbit, weel bobbit,
If it wasna weel bobbit—we'll bob it again."

Rather a good Colonial debate in the Commons, and as Mr. Punch
knows the intense and absorbing interest taken in the subject, he
feels that the best thing he can do is just to—mention the fact, and

to like the Derby.

Mr. Gladstone said that Racing was a noble, manly, distinguished
(sic), and nationally historical sport, and that the House was not

Debate on the impropriety of remitting the remainder of the
sentence on the ruffians whose outrages led to the death of Murphy,
the unclean anti-Popish lecturer. Mr. Bruce got behind the Judge

bound to take notice of its abuses. Ha! dear Mr. Gladstone, you wno trje(j tne case, and had recommended the remission, so there
are thinking of such racing as has been sung by your favourite was an end. But things were said about "provocation," which

would have provoked Mr. Punch to wrath, if it were worth his
while to feel the passions of mankind.

Greeks. You remember your namesake, Pelides, whom

" "We saw in all his arms arrayed,
The cumbrous equipage of war ;
His speed he o'er the sand displayed,
Contending with the harnessed car
"With rival speed we saw Pelides fly,
Iu arms, the whirling chariot nigh."

We passed some Civil Service votes,
At nearly One put on our coats,
And such as pass for Ossy Folks
Remarked that Peine had won the Oaks.