Punch (62.1872)

i

252

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[June 15, 1872.

COUNTER IRRITATION.

First Customer (entering suddenly). " I say, it positively Hurts, this Hat I Bought ok You yesteeday !
Second Ditto (waiting to be measured aghast, at being taken for a Shopman). " Au—Gil! Hay ! ! "
First Ditto. "Abominably Bad Fit, this Hat!"

Second Ditto (recovering his self-possession). " 'Ndeed, Sir! A—h-your Coat is, most d'ctdedly, Sir!"

PRIZE POEM.

Last week I sauntered round the Zoo,
I saw a Whimbrel and a Smew ;
I could have played on any timbrel
For joy that 1 had seen a Whimbrel;
I could have played a flute, too-too,
For joy that 1 had seen a Smew.
I never saw the like before,
I never want to see them more.
But don't you come pretending, you,
To know a Whimbrel or a Smew,
Or any other fiction hatch,
Like an old frumious Bandersnatch;
That were a dismal thing to do
About a Whimbrel and a Smew.

Priests and Paddies.

"Ireland for theTrish!" is a cry in which mobs shouting for
Home Rule are joined by Priests. Thereby, however, their Rever-
ences and their lay associates express different notions. The people
mean what they say ; their spiritual pastors, and masters, too, that
aim to be, mean Ireland for the Romish.

Considerate.

So many of the frequenters of Music Halls are troubled with a
difficulty of aspiration, that it is pleasant to find the managers of
one of those places of entertainment humouring the infirmities of
their patrons by distinctly placarding the name of a star—from the
Transatlantic firmament—as " Orkins."

GLORIOUS TIDINGS.

What shall not be done, in the way of honour, to our friend King
Cole Y H. M. daily announces, that at the New Show House at
South Kensington,

"Visitors can dine after the Exhibition closes, as well as previously."

This is delightful. Two fine Appetites for one shilling ! Gentle-
men who find it difficult to dine once, and who, to attain that object,
have recourse to unholy Sherry-and-Bitters, notice this! Punch
has taken a season-ticket, to ensure himself twelve dinners a week,
taking his chance on Sundays.

Intimidationist Priests.

Here is a characteristic piece of news from Ireland : —

" The Galway Judgment.—A.t a private meeting of Cardinal Cullen's-
Clergy yesterday, at Marlborough Street Cathedral, in Dublin, an address was
passed strongly condemning Judge Keogh's judgment."

To be sure. Judex damnatur cum nocens dbsolritur — as a general
rule. The acquittal of the criminal is a sufficient condemnation of
the judge. But perhaps Cardinal Cullen's Clergy had a reason for
specially condemning Judge Keogh. Was it for the likes of them
to presume to absolve the Bishops of Galway and Cloneert and
the Archbishop of Tuam ?

anathema in excelsis.

Creed of St. Athanasius ? No, indeed.

Call it, good priests, the Anathemaslan Creed.