Punch (73.1877)

August 4, 1877.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

41

Thursday■ {Lords).—Lobd Neison advanced to the table behind a
monster petition for the repeal of the Public Worship Regulation
Act—in which the weight of the paper was real, whatever may be
that of the signatures, among which Sunday School children's figure
largely.

{Commons.)—The Chancelloe op the Exchequeb informed the
Mabocts oe Habtingtost of his proposed self-defending ordinances,
and the House then proceeded to deal with Me. Butt's Bill for
endowing with nearly half a million an Irish Roman Catholic Uni-
versity, under Episcopal control. This would amount, as Me. Lowe
and Sie W. H. Beach both pointed out, to a deliberate reversal of
all that the House has done to make education .undenominational,
so no wonder the Bill was thrown out by 200 to 50.

Friday {Lords).—St. Francis (or was it St. Anthony?) preached
to the fishes. The Dijeii of Somebset would not mind their being
preached to, but objects to their being blown up, as they are now,
off Devonshire and Cornwall, by dynamite.

Loed Redesdale presented a petition from All-hallows, South-
wark, against a Romanising district parson, whose notion that
Ritual hallows all does not suit All-hallows.

When a dying woman is refused the Sacrament because she
objects to confess her sins to the parson, no wonder there is a feeling
that the Protestant Pale is being kicked over.

{Commons,)—Nolumus leges Parliamenti mutari is a standing
sentiment of the House, exemplified to-night. Even the intolerable
nuisance of Irish Obstruction has barely enabled the Government,
after a whole night's haggling, to carry, for the fag-end of the Ses-
sion, Sie Staeeoed Noethcote's two Resolutions, that a Member twice
out of Order shall be muzzled for the rest of the debate, and that
no Member shall move more than once to report progress or vacate
the chair. Wrong-headedness laughs at Resolutions as Love laughs
at Locksmiths. The House had better have stuck to the first idea,
and suspended the Obstructive Three for the rest of the Session,
if they wouldn't be good on easier terms.

" EXCELLENT WELL—THOU ART A FISHMONGER ! "

_ So we may all say, now Loed Haettngton' has taken his place as
liveryman of that ancient Guild, whose brethren have been stamped
as " honourable men" by the pen of Shaespeabe and the tongue of
Hamlet. To his Lordship's honour, let us set down the excellent good
sense his Lordship uttered in the speech acknowledging his new
rank :—

"We have, as Head of Her Majesty's Opposition, thought that if matters
had been otherwise conducted by Her Majesty's Government this disas-
trous war might have been averted, and the complications and diffi-
culties which 'will probably ensue before its close might have been avoided.
{Cheers.') But since the outbreak of hostilities, the efforts of my noble
friend and of myself have been directed to impress upon Her Majesty's
Government the expediency of maintaining a strict neutrality, and to
strengthen their hands in maintaining that neutrality, and not only a
strict but also a calm neutrality, believing that by such a course the best in-
terests of the country would be served, and the wishes of the vast majority of
the people be consulted. {Cheers.) "We have never denied that great English
interests are involved, nor that the time may come when it would be neces-
sary to defend those interests, but we believe that the position of this country
as well as that of all other neutrals, while we maintain neutrality, is one of
unassailable security and authority, and we believe that that position would
only be weakened by a premature interference in this quarrel until we know
in what way our interests are to be affected, and in what way they can best
be defended. {Cheers.) We claim in this respect to have given a more
valuable support to Her Majesty's Government than they have received from
some of those who sit beside and behind them, and by those who profess to be
their supporters in the Press, who, as will always be the case in times like
these, have been urging the Government and the country to adopt some
feverish and impulsive action instead of preserving what we believe to be the
best for us—a strict neutrality."

And these wise words were being spoken while the House of
Commons was in the thick of the Donny brook Fair fight, got up by
and over the Members for Meath, Cavan, and Dungarvan! How
Loed Habtington must have blushed under his new livery, at
thought of the contrast between Fishmongers' Hall, and the Hall
of the Collective Wisdom!

defiant,

1 Take down my words! "—and you will see
That's not the way to take down me t

Oms Custodiet Cxtstodes ?—" Stands Scotland (Yard) where it
did? "—in public opinion ?

An* Obstbuctive Cheeex.—The Biggaroon.

REFLECTIONS ON THE GORILLA.

{At the Aquarium.)

j^aster I

From the Congo,
more strictly, the Gaboon-stream—
Sole Gorilla
That doth fill a
Place beneath pale Europe's moon-stream—

Squat of figure,
Like a Nigger,
In the eyes and face and
colour;
Grave and gentle,
Dull in mental
Aptitudes, and getting
duller.

Young Chimpanzee
One might fancy I
Turning out a man and '
brother;
Full of frolic,
Melancholic
If; one moment, gay an-
other.

High-rope swinging,
Cross-bar clinging,
Hand-o'er-hand, Jack-tar-
like, climbing.

Hugging, snatching,
Kissing, scratching,
Much like Man, his baby-time in.

Not so Poxgo :

You may long go
Ere you'll meet a sadder creature,

Duller, drearier,

Tr avel - vc ar ier, —
Rfthe as 'tis,—in air and foature.

Springs this glumness
From his dumbness,

That he can't return our greeting,
Tell each brother,
" You're another! "

Or drink "Our next merry meet-
ing"?

Or is't sadness
At Man's badness,
In two capitals detected,

That can fill a
Babe Gorilla
With a gloom so deep-dejected ?

Though at dinner,

For a sinner,
He enjoys his beef and beea,

Sad and testy,

Oft his breast he
Beats, as who'd say, "Culpa
//tea i

Or is't owing
To his knowing
Science threatens rank quadru-
man ?
That to-morrow—
Shame and sorrow !—
Dab win may proclaim him' hu-
man !

PARNELL'S CROSS-REFERENCES.

Positive. (See Folly.)
Quarrelling. (See Loyalty.)
Repartee. (See "You're ano-
ther !")
Stubbornness. (See Bravery.)
Twaddle. (See Eloquence.)
Unpopularity. (See 'Xcessive.)
Vacant. (See Head.)
Want. (See Knowledge.)
'Xcessive. (See Unpopularity.)
" You 're another ! " (See Re-
partee.)
Zany. (See passim.)

Ambition. (See Notoriety.)
Bravery. (See Stubbornness.)
Candour. (See Impudence.)
Delay. (See Generalship.)
Eloquence. (See Twaddle.)
Folly. (See Positive.)
Generalship. (See Delay.)
Head. (See Vacant.)
Impudence. (See Candour.)
Jealousy. (See Motive.)
Knowledge. (See Want.)
Loyalty. (See Quarrelling.)
Motive. (See Jealousy.)
Notoriety. (See Ambition.)

The Right Man in the Right Place.

Sib Sydney Wateblow, responding for the Governors at the
Anniversary Dinner of St. Bartholomew's Hospital, took occasion,
among other improvements of the Hospital, to refer to the increase
of the lavatories, baths, and wash-houses. How pleasant that it
should fall to Water Low to note Higher Water in Buch an essential
element of Hospital appliances !

Suggested by a Licensed Victtjallee.—New name for Ritualists
—Unlicensed RituaUers.