DOI issue:
July 8, 1882
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17753#0017
July 8, 1882.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
“large by degrees, and hideously big.”
Three sizes are, it is said, now kept for sale at Ladies’ Outfitters.
They are known severally as “ Crinolette,” “ Crinoletter,” and
“ Crinolettest.” It is rumoured there is even a greater monstrosity
to be obtained ; namely, the “ Crinolettissimus.” Let us hope the last
rumour is devoid of foundation.
Sub Judice.—The libel against Mr. Belt is, that, as he can’t
sculpt, he chisels. Pity it couldn’t have been taken during the
silly season. More Judges wanted. Great loss to the newspapers,
and therefore most inconsiderate of the Last of the Barons. It has
been so far interesting and amusing. The appearance of every bust
in Court being the signal for another bust of laughter.
MODERN LIFE IN LONDON: OR, “ TOM AND JERRY ” BACK AGAIN.
THE TRIO AT HENLEY REGATTA.
It was about the beginning of July when our Trio began to find
themselves a leetle overdone with the gaiety of “ Life in London.”
They had “ seen life ” with the best of the Goes, and, as Young
Logic said, had waked up some of the “boys,” who in return had
taken them round, and pronounced the two Old Cocks, as they de-
nominated the Corinthian and Jerry Hawthorn, Esq., to be
“ all there when the bell rung.” “ I am not au fait with that flash
expression,” said Tom when this compliment was first conveyed to
him, but if it means that my Coz and I are still game to enjoy the
lark, laugh at the spree, and be alive when a Ramble is proposed, I
can assure you that we can still take credit for perusing with the
most marked attention the grand living Book of Books,
MAN!! ! ”
That was undoubtedly true; but still, to “ make a clean breast of
it,” we must say that “ Modern Life in London” had begun to
tell upon the Trio. Young Bob had been for some time in a highly
crapulous condition, and was observed on more than one occasion to
fortify himself before breakfast with a wineglassful of “ Worcester
Sauce,” a plan for obviating the Blue Devils, which had been taught
him by a young friend named Sergius, late a shining light in a
Hussar Regiment. Tom and Jerry were seasoned casks ; but while
in “ old days ” they were accustomed to sluice a few glasses of good
old wine over their ivories after dinner, and to “hold their own ”
when the bottle went merrily round, they were not “up” to the
perpetual pegs that seemed to be “ the thing ” in these days. They
were game to take The Dustman on board after a night’s jollifica-
tion, but they were “ bowled out ” by the matutinal “ stims ” which
were in vogue with Logic and his pals. Nor were they so eager for
the Big Cigars and everlasting cigarettes which these young heroes
puffed; while, as the Corinthian remarked, “Life in London”
was regarded through a couleur de B.-and-S. pair of barnacles.
“Right you are, old man,” said Young Bob, slapping the
Corinthian on the shoulder, “ and I ’ll teU you what it is ; we are
all getting a little played out. What do you say to having a spell of
fresh air on the Thames, and joining some of the Chappies at
Henley Regatta.” “ We are more at home,” said Corinthian Tom,
‘ ‘ in hippie than aquatic contests, my dear Bob ; but take us wherever
Life is to be seen, and we are * on,’ as you say: ” while Jerry
acquiesced, for he was “making tracks” for Point Nonplus, and
felt as if the mere mention of another Brandy-and-Soda would cause
him to see spiders ! So the Trio agreed to try “ The River,” and it
was admitted on all hands that this was the month of all others in
which one ought to be on the bosom' of Father Thames. They sur-
rendered themselves, therefore, to the whim of the moment, for
Pleasure was the sole target at which they aimed, and a few fleeting
hours found them mooning at Marlow, wandering at Wargrave,
spooning at Shepperton, chatting at Chertsey, dawdling at
Datchet, flirting at Formosa, bathing at Bisham, fishing at Fair-
ford, paddling at Pangbourne, swimming at Sonning, walking at
Walton, smoking at Surbiton, talking at Twickenham, or revelling
at Richmond. Our Trio agreed that no one could see Life in
London without a day on the River, which has found its own painter
in Keeley Halswelle, and its limner in Leslie, while what says
Ashby-Sterry, the Laureate of the Thames, in his poem on“ Blank-
ton Weir,” a title which Young Bob said always reminded him of
bad language. We have taken some small liberties with the verses :—
“ Oh, jolly July afternoons, when leaving bores and bills,
We rowed with pantaletted pets in furbelows and frills :
We brimmed the beaker with champagne and crowned the cheerful cup,
And heard her gentle accents say, ‘ Now, Joe, do “ liquor up ” ! ’
Come back those days of curls and girls, and iiirting without fear,
As show these rhymes of spoony times about old Blankton Weir ! ”
While “ on the river,” Tom, Jerry, and Young Logic of course
“did Henley,” and the two former were loud in praise of the
pleasant old town and of the famous Regatta, which, as Bob truly
said, might be held to resemble an aquatic Ascot. For there the
fashionables congregated intent on the races provided for their
amusement, whether it was the Grand Challenge Cup, or the Stew-
ard’s, the Silver Goblets, or the Diamond Sculls, the Ladies’ Chal-
lenge Plate, or the Visitors’ Cup. It was indeed a charming sight
—when they got clear of a few Snobs, who bring such otherwise
undeserved odium on Launches—and one worthy of the pencil of
the artist—for dainty damsels in diaphanous dresses, were attended
by “ gay Cavaliers,” and all the “ Upper Ten” seemed to have hied
from the West End to the River. Jerry, who, as we know, was a
great admirer of The Sex, kept so constantly looking from side to
side, as each fair Syren met his enraptured gaze, that the
Corinthian jokingly remarked that his Coz had better take care, or
his eyes would wobble out of his head. _“ What would Mary Rose-
bud say,” added Tom, who had dipped his nose into The Cup pretty
often, but Jerry smiled, and made no articulate reply. It is needless
to say that The Trio saw all the “ Fun of the Fair.” They lounged on
the lawn of The Lion, rowed on Thr River, roystered at Bemenham,
pic-nicked with perpetual parties, and lunched, as Young Bob said,
“ All over the shop.” Indeed, Tom and the Corinthian began to
feel as they were rowed home, that, whatever might be the advan-
tages of Life on the River, it was quite as capable of sewing you
up as Life in London.
Vol. 83.
1—2
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
“large by degrees, and hideously big.”
Three sizes are, it is said, now kept for sale at Ladies’ Outfitters.
They are known severally as “ Crinolette,” “ Crinoletter,” and
“ Crinolettest.” It is rumoured there is even a greater monstrosity
to be obtained ; namely, the “ Crinolettissimus.” Let us hope the last
rumour is devoid of foundation.
Sub Judice.—The libel against Mr. Belt is, that, as he can’t
sculpt, he chisels. Pity it couldn’t have been taken during the
silly season. More Judges wanted. Great loss to the newspapers,
and therefore most inconsiderate of the Last of the Barons. It has
been so far interesting and amusing. The appearance of every bust
in Court being the signal for another bust of laughter.
MODERN LIFE IN LONDON: OR, “ TOM AND JERRY ” BACK AGAIN.
THE TRIO AT HENLEY REGATTA.
It was about the beginning of July when our Trio began to find
themselves a leetle overdone with the gaiety of “ Life in London.”
They had “ seen life ” with the best of the Goes, and, as Young
Logic said, had waked up some of the “boys,” who in return had
taken them round, and pronounced the two Old Cocks, as they de-
nominated the Corinthian and Jerry Hawthorn, Esq., to be
“ all there when the bell rung.” “ I am not au fait with that flash
expression,” said Tom when this compliment was first conveyed to
him, but if it means that my Coz and I are still game to enjoy the
lark, laugh at the spree, and be alive when a Ramble is proposed, I
can assure you that we can still take credit for perusing with the
most marked attention the grand living Book of Books,
MAN!! ! ”
That was undoubtedly true; but still, to “ make a clean breast of
it,” we must say that “ Modern Life in London” had begun to
tell upon the Trio. Young Bob had been for some time in a highly
crapulous condition, and was observed on more than one occasion to
fortify himself before breakfast with a wineglassful of “ Worcester
Sauce,” a plan for obviating the Blue Devils, which had been taught
him by a young friend named Sergius, late a shining light in a
Hussar Regiment. Tom and Jerry were seasoned casks ; but while
in “ old days ” they were accustomed to sluice a few glasses of good
old wine over their ivories after dinner, and to “hold their own ”
when the bottle went merrily round, they were not “up” to the
perpetual pegs that seemed to be “ the thing ” in these days. They
were game to take The Dustman on board after a night’s jollifica-
tion, but they were “ bowled out ” by the matutinal “ stims ” which
were in vogue with Logic and his pals. Nor were they so eager for
the Big Cigars and everlasting cigarettes which these young heroes
puffed; while, as the Corinthian remarked, “Life in London”
was regarded through a couleur de B.-and-S. pair of barnacles.
“Right you are, old man,” said Young Bob, slapping the
Corinthian on the shoulder, “ and I ’ll teU you what it is ; we are
all getting a little played out. What do you say to having a spell of
fresh air on the Thames, and joining some of the Chappies at
Henley Regatta.” “ We are more at home,” said Corinthian Tom,
‘ ‘ in hippie than aquatic contests, my dear Bob ; but take us wherever
Life is to be seen, and we are * on,’ as you say: ” while Jerry
acquiesced, for he was “making tracks” for Point Nonplus, and
felt as if the mere mention of another Brandy-and-Soda would cause
him to see spiders ! So the Trio agreed to try “ The River,” and it
was admitted on all hands that this was the month of all others in
which one ought to be on the bosom' of Father Thames. They sur-
rendered themselves, therefore, to the whim of the moment, for
Pleasure was the sole target at which they aimed, and a few fleeting
hours found them mooning at Marlow, wandering at Wargrave,
spooning at Shepperton, chatting at Chertsey, dawdling at
Datchet, flirting at Formosa, bathing at Bisham, fishing at Fair-
ford, paddling at Pangbourne, swimming at Sonning, walking at
Walton, smoking at Surbiton, talking at Twickenham, or revelling
at Richmond. Our Trio agreed that no one could see Life in
London without a day on the River, which has found its own painter
in Keeley Halswelle, and its limner in Leslie, while what says
Ashby-Sterry, the Laureate of the Thames, in his poem on“ Blank-
ton Weir,” a title which Young Bob said always reminded him of
bad language. We have taken some small liberties with the verses :—
“ Oh, jolly July afternoons, when leaving bores and bills,
We rowed with pantaletted pets in furbelows and frills :
We brimmed the beaker with champagne and crowned the cheerful cup,
And heard her gentle accents say, ‘ Now, Joe, do “ liquor up ” ! ’
Come back those days of curls and girls, and iiirting without fear,
As show these rhymes of spoony times about old Blankton Weir ! ”
While “ on the river,” Tom, Jerry, and Young Logic of course
“did Henley,” and the two former were loud in praise of the
pleasant old town and of the famous Regatta, which, as Bob truly
said, might be held to resemble an aquatic Ascot. For there the
fashionables congregated intent on the races provided for their
amusement, whether it was the Grand Challenge Cup, or the Stew-
ard’s, the Silver Goblets, or the Diamond Sculls, the Ladies’ Chal-
lenge Plate, or the Visitors’ Cup. It was indeed a charming sight
—when they got clear of a few Snobs, who bring such otherwise
undeserved odium on Launches—and one worthy of the pencil of
the artist—for dainty damsels in diaphanous dresses, were attended
by “ gay Cavaliers,” and all the “ Upper Ten” seemed to have hied
from the West End to the River. Jerry, who, as we know, was a
great admirer of The Sex, kept so constantly looking from side to
side, as each fair Syren met his enraptured gaze, that the
Corinthian jokingly remarked that his Coz had better take care, or
his eyes would wobble out of his head. _“ What would Mary Rose-
bud say,” added Tom, who had dipped his nose into The Cup pretty
often, but Jerry smiled, and made no articulate reply. It is needless
to say that The Trio saw all the “ Fun of the Fair.” They lounged on
the lawn of The Lion, rowed on Thr River, roystered at Bemenham,
pic-nicked with perpetual parties, and lunched, as Young Bob said,
“ All over the shop.” Indeed, Tom and the Corinthian began to
feel as they were rowed home, that, whatever might be the advan-
tages of Life on the River, it was quite as capable of sewing you
up as Life in London.
Vol. 83.
1—2