Punch (90.1886)

January 30, 1886.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 31

SO OBSERVANT!"

"Mamma" (shopping). "You mat cut me off a Sample, and I 'll see my Dressmaker, and write-
Infant Terror. "Why, 'Ma ! That's just what you said in all the other Shops ! !"

Science. Way yes, of course, my friends Brunlees and Fox
Fought, not red faction, but red sandstone rocks.
Yet these are hard, and hut for Beaumont's borer
This Tunnel business might have proved a floorer.

Trade. Well, that at least 's"a thing no more to dread;
Since Liverpool is linked with Birkenhead,
And Lancashire with Cheshire and North "Wales.
Ah! Science started fair, right seldom fails.

science. Her strength she measures, and opposing forces,
Nor tries combining contradictory courses.

Trade. A "tip" for Statecraft, Sister?

Science. _ As you please.|

In welding nations as in linking seas,
.these rules hold good; for river as for runnel.

~. _ J11 Broseley pipe-tube as in Mersey Tunnel. .

bir ±,. Watkyn(at distance). All very fine! couleur de rose extremely,
i think such jubilation quite unseemly.
One of the most important incidents of the reign ?
Egregious Raikes, your eulogistic strain
i ou tootle loudly, but your pipe is scrannel.
Oompared with my big bore beneath the Channel,
W hat is this trumpery Tunnel ? A mere rat-hole !
isrnce mine is dropped don't prate to me of that hole
insular idiots spoilt my little game,
let crack this up. A scandal and a shame!
t>iii? suooee<i this will seem no great shakes,
i. 11 be upsides you yet, my Cecil Raikes !

[Exit disgusted.

Too Late.—Talking of Sleighs in London, the Pall Mall Gazette,
recommending their adoption in snowy weather, said, on January 21,

A rough sleigh could be constructed for a Sovereign." If this
advice had only been -given on the 20th, it might have been acted
upon, and so saved the Queen from bringing out her iced unwhipped
creams to draw the State Carriage. Her Majesty might have gone
on that rough sleigh.

Extract from the Lettes of a Lady in Waiting, Jan. 19 to
22 —Here to-day, gone to-morrow, and back again the day after.
Oh, what days we are having! So cold! B-ok-ngh-m P-l-ce so

cheerful' ! M- said he should have known We were in town,

even if he hadn't read it in the papers, as, when passing through
the Park about 11 p.m., Wednesday night, he observed lights in
three of the windows—a candle in each, apparently. Such sweet
weather for travelling, and everybody in such a good humour, that
life is quite worth living. Thought the Jubilee Year would be a nice
lively one. Beginning well. No more at present. Lights out. Bed-
time.___,__.

In a poverty-stricken Irish fishing village, to expend some £4,000
on a solid stone pier, which a fishing-boat has never been laid along-
side of and which is as dangerous as a rock to a poor canoe-man
venturing to approach it, would seem to be as ripe a specimen of
official folly as the Circumlocution Office itself could well excogitate.
Yet this according to the Daily Chronicle's Special Commissioner,
is what has been done at the now famine-stricken village of Tully,
on the West Coast of Ireland. This is the sort of thing, it seems,
which is, humorously, called a "Relief Work," and not the only
instance'the Commissioner has seen of such works, " which have
proved absolutely useless to' the fishermen in whose interests they
were made." This pier might pair off with the celebrated *

"Windows that exclude the light,

And passages that lead to nothing.

for it is not properly connected with the village, and nobody ever uses
it! How grateful the famishing fishermen must be for Tully's
Folly, and how entirely of the same opinion as the Deputation that
waited upon Lord Salisbury, to demonstrate strongly in favour of
" things as they are," in happy Ireland!

Broken Reeds and Bayonets.—(Toast and Sentiment.)—-When
the British Soldier finds a foeman worthy of his steel, may he ever
find himself provided with a steel worthy'of his foeman.