Punch (90.1886)

242

PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[Mat 22, 1886.

"SURE AS A GUN." (A DIALOGUE FOR THE DAY.)

inNM

John Bull. " You 'ke a handsome-looking^Chap, and you cost a Lot of Money,—and now-
New Grim. "Oh, please, Sir, don't thy to Fibe me off, ok I'll Bust!"

Scientific Sage. Chipped flints and boomerangs, indeed ! Poor
creatures! Fancy being dependent on such, things for the satisfactory-
slaughter of one's enemies! A flint spear-head is a makeshift, a
boomerang is a fluke. Ours are the days of Torpedo warfare and Arms
of Precision!

Simple Savage. How lovely! Fancy being able to kill your
enemies miles away, and hundreds at a blow.

Scientific Sage. Worth surviving for, isn't it ?

Simple Savage. Yes; to those who do survive. I suppose you '11
all be blown into the blue distance or torpedoed into eternity before
long, though.

Scientific Sage. "Why ?

Simple Savage. Oh, what is the use of being so "precise," and

paying so tremendously for your precision, too, unless you can exter-
minate each other expeditiously ?

Scientific Sage. That's a pretty sanguinary sort of a sentiment.
But, of course, you're only a savage, and know no better.

Simple Savage. Teach me; I'm willing to learn. For instance,
what is the meaning of this talk about the bursting of a big gun on
board the Collingwood f

Scientific Sage. Oh, they will burst sometimes, you know.

Simple Savage. Will they, though? Why?

Scientific Sage. Oh, lots of reasons.

Simple Savage. Dear me ! Arms of precision, too. Well, a
boomerang might be a fluke, but it didn't burst, and it did kill. But
then, of course, it wasn't an arm of precision, and didn't cost thousands.