Punch (34.1858)

May 15, l«5«, PUNCH, ORJTHE LONDON CHARIVAEL

195

SHALL SPOONER HAVE A STATUEP

nce a-year at least must
this momentous question
be regarded as par ex-
cellence the question of
the day. Once a year
the champion Spooner
strides down to the

THE BBUTE TAMER.

(An Old Song in a New Shape.)

&^0^ ii^w-------- -

assembled Commons. In
the tournament which fol-
lows he gets annually the
worst of it. But although
each year dismounted, he
is in his seat again the

Had I to tame a vicious Horse,

Think ye that I would use brute force ?

Oh no ! I should adopt the course

Of Mr. Rarey.

I chanced, this morn, a Groom to view,

In vain attempting to subdue
House, mounts his hobby : A noble but unm]v steed

Maynooth, and flings Ms ! Me treated him very ill indeed,
gsge into the lace>,ot the | And> whilst the animal he smote)

Used language much too strong to quote:
At length—I caught him by the throat—
And exclaimed,
" Wretch]
Suppose that is a vicious horse,
To tame him should'st thou use brute force ?
next, prepared to break a N tJl0U should'st adopt the course

lance with whoever dare q£ ^k rarey.3'

oppose him. Up he The Groom and I contending thus,
jumps with every recur-1 The popuiace surrounded us,
ring Spring, with as un-1 No doubt they boped that ^e should fightj

For their diversion and delight,

But they did not enjoy that wished-for sight,

For thus I appealed t o them:—

" Good People !

Would you, to tame a vicious horse,
Spring cabbages are not RebQrt to vulgar physicai force?

more sure m their up-; No ,_to the plan vou>d have recourse
springing. Every year as ■ Qf Mr. Rarey."

™™L!f ea,ri ?*jLon+v1! the pe°ple. said>"that was a11 vervwell>

But they didn't know, and they couldn't tell,
And suspected that system was all a sell."
So I said I would prove to them it was not
By an open experiment cn the spot;
And produced
One shilling.
I placed the coin in the Groom's right hand,
:iud to drink my health did him command;

erring regularity as cro
cusses and tulips. All
lie gains by getting up is
the power to sit down
again. Nevertheless,

verdure, up comes the
annual Spooler, every
bit as green as ever.

Now the question long has been, What are we to do with him ? With the Commons for
his Sindbad, Spooner plays the part of the Old Man of the Sea. Sedet, eternumqiie sedebit—
if the House don:t try to free itself. We think a Bill for his Removal might be properly
brought in, as for the removal of any other nuisance. Had the Barrel-Organ Act been
happily made law, Spooner might perhaps have somehow been suppressed by it. He yearly

grinds away at the same old wearying tune, and nobody can put a stop to his perpetual "There," said I, " now that's the way to stand,

Like Mr. Rarey."
The Groom his hat directly raised,

Maynooth motion. In this respect, indeed, he is a worse instrument of torture than a^hand
organ. The aura popularis is continually changing. After blowing "Lucy Neal" or ' Jim

Crow" for a year or so, street bands get to "Keemo Kimo" and their " Poor Dog Tray." At which the le were amazed;
But Spooner never varies his auricular infliction. Maynooth is Ms aura anytMng but; jj-g ^e grew C0Q^ lately blazed,
popularis, which he blows from year to year never deviating certainty. Upon the shilling whilst he gazed. '

Still, though we are free to say we're not tw^rers ot our Spooner, we conless that welike j "There now " I said "my friends you see
pluck, and respect him who possesses it. To give Spooner his due, it must be owned he | -g nQ Electro-biology '

largely does so; and we regret to see it wasted on so profitless a cause. But nobody can , j^Qr maCTic or mystery-
deny Ms possession of the article. The way he yearly braves the Oh! Ohs ! of the House, f appeal simply

and presses on to a division in the forlorn hope of a victory is an act of dauntless courage j To that Groom»s sense aud'intellect,
that a Campbell might be proud of. Were an Order of Political Valour to be granted, Till UQW b circumstances checked :
bold Spooner ought to stand first and foremost to be decorated. A green ribbon should be | The method hence u t-

given, wMch should symbohse his viridity ; and on all future Maynooth field-nights he should \ qj- ^ rarey»

wear it in Ms button-hole. But in default of this, he clearly is entitled to a Statue. Although !
we cannot put him down, we at least may put him up. Let us raise him to a pedestal, if
I we may not to a peerage. The hero of a hundred Maynooth fights should be placed side
by side with our other sculptured heroes. Yes! Spooner the Undaunted must clearly
have a Statue. Let us raise a monumentum eere perennius—more lasting than the brass with
which he morally is furnished. Let us chisel him in marble, after the antique; to show
how old a bird it is we have to do with. St. Spooner the Undaunted mounted on his
hobby, and the dragon Maynooth taking a draconic sight at him ! What a stimulating subject
for the genius of our sculptors ! How worthy of the hand that erstwhile cut, the sacred pig-
tail of our George, or curled the royal periwig of our Charles at Charing Cross.

THE RICHEST AND POOREST CHURCH IN THE WORLD.

The Groom a moment stood confused,
He meditated—and he mused—
And he said, "Veil, kindness ain't no loss;
I may as veil try it vith that 'ere 'oss."
My great success the public cheered,
Seeing how gentle he appeared,
And with the Steed whilst off lie sheered,

I remarked, " There, now,
You see Persuasion's gentle force
Has tamed that man—'twill tame a horse.
Would you know how, go take a course
Of Mr. Rarey."

Those sneering persons, who are in the habit of inveighing against the wealth of the | Commencement of the Warm Season
Established Church, will doubtlessly be pleased to learn, that there are no less than 3,528 i

benefices under £50 a-year! You will thus perceive that in an Ecclesiastical See all the fishes ' " Mr. Simpson presents his compliments to
are not exactly turtles, any more than in the Ecclesiastical cupboard all the loaves are! the Marquis of Clanricarde, and begs to state
quarterns. When the Bishop of Exeter is riding in his carriage, opemng his lungs wide in that he has had the pleasure of placing his (the
the hopes of catching an appetite for dinner, it may probably reconcile him to his hard lot to Marquis's) name on the Free List for the Cre-
know that there is many a poor fag of a curate who receives less money for his work than the ! morne Season, which commences on the first
fat coachman on the box before him. To guide a human flock is not paid half so well as the j warm day that the Gardens are_favoured with,
driving a pair of Bishop's horses. To one St. James in the Church there must be full five
hundred St. Gileses ! It is the poor who pay for the rich. There is at present an agitation
going on for the Equalisation of Poor Rates. Our half-starved, hard-working curates would
do well to get up a similar agitation in favour of the Equalisation of Church-Rates ; or else
the chances are that, failing to get anything like a living out of the latter, thev will be driven
tor support to apply to the former. It would seem as though the gifts of the Church, not The Lords (says Bernal Osborne) have pre
less so than the gifts of this world, were most unequally distributed. The prizes in the S sented the Jews again with their annual Ticket
clerical lottery are terribly out of proportion to the blanks. I of-LEVi

Due notice will be given before December of the
interesting event."

the wandering tribe.