Punch (62.1872)

January 13, 1872.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

15

once, and give the order himself, returning to see if you
were comfortably served. Then the waiters flew, and
to command was to have. Now, Tommy, observe I
have spoken to these waiters, and have ordered my
supper more than tweuty minutes since, and it has
not appeared. See Mk. Green himself" (the veteran
here came up, and having affectionately greeted his dear
boys, Masters Sandeord and Merton, wandered away
to another part of the room), "he is no longer Pro-
prietor ; he is only nominally in authority, his occupa-
tion is, in effect, gone; he is the only connecting link
between the past and present Evans's, 'retained,' to
quote his own immortal line about the lamented Yon
joel, ' on the establishment, in consequence of his long
services.' "

So affected were both Harry and Tommy by Mr.
Barlow's discourse that they begged to be allowed to
quit a place which only aroused so much sadness in the
breast of their beloved preceptor. As they were leaving,

SANITARY SERMONS.

received by the money collector at the door with a
grateful " I thank you, Sir. Good night, Sir."

While Mr. Barlow was thus addressing Masters
Harry and Tommy, the waiter was summoned to a dis

ost of our contemporaries
have lately improved an
alarming occasion with
many monitory observa-
tions on typhoid, fever.
The whole of these, how-
ever, reducible into a few
words, may be pretty
well, summi d up in the
caution, — Look to your
drains. In addition, Dr.
Punch begs to offer a
piece of advice gratis to
all persons in possession
of his universal remedy,
price 3d., 4d. stamped,

Mr. Barlow paid a shilling for some refreshment which | \_. lffl^RA,/ \* , L V t0- coimterfeit which

he had taken, whereupon the waiter begged to be
remembered, which Mr. Barlow, being blessed with a
good memory, willingly consented to do. But the
waiter candidly explaining that he was expecting a trifle
for his trouble, Mr. Baelow could not refrain from
expostulating with the honest fellow on the absurdity
of such a system, and informed the boys, that, in the

is

piracy. Look to your-
selves.

Pestiferous as is the
atmosphere of sewers, not
only do rats live, but
labourers work in it, the
former wholly, the latter

old and palmy days of Evans's there was no'charge! ^SSSJm flff^- H '''"'^ for most part with impu-

for admission, and the attention bestowed on visitors; ngy **^^S2Sf i n^UmTMmy m^7: % rodents get

being admirable, it was a pleasure to bestow some- J JPfe^ K WHK<~ acclimatised, unless it be

gratuity upon the attendants, which was always: -'«*Jr»*T-/ W mil Mm that instinct impels them

to take some sort of vege-
table or other preventive
of zymotic and mephitie
diseases. As for the

their reaching their lodgings, " reminds me of the story
of Tigranes and the Amphibious Black."

Mr. Barlow. I do not think Tommy Merton has
heard it.

Harry. Well, you must know, Master Tommy

tant quarter of the room, whereupon they ascended the - —#1 R> = working-men, they smoke

steps, and found themselves in the Piazza of Covent - [Vk ^^^^JE^ssS^^Bi 1,lpes 0± tobacco alm0.st

Garden r uu~lf" 111 ^ZlTIi-^—-^S^55- t0 a man>ano- as generally

"Farewell, Evans's!" said Mr. Barlow, sadly; "I prescribe for and ad-

know not that I shall darken thy doors again ! " L . . . n. , •* * n^w^ to themselves

"What you were saying, Sir," observed Harry on al«?\ol..m ,s0™ on.e or other of its forms, commonly that of something short,

which, it asked to give it a name, we will call gm, or euphemistically, Old. lorn,
not to say, dyslogistically, blue ruin, for the useless sake of pleasing the United
Kingdom Alliance; those conspirators against the potatory liberty of the sub-
ject who hate us youth, and specially abhor Punch. The gin-drinking,
prevalent among the population of the slums, comes of a sense which is
But ToM^hkrgontXaignt upstairs toW I medicinal, and the medicine would, in effect, be altogether salutary but for the

Mr. Barlow, w£o knew the story by heart, having, | tendency of people to take it in over-doses,
indeed, himself told it to Master Harry, then took I Everybody knows how continually medical men are exposed to all manner of
his candle, and wishing Harry a very good night, i contagion, and how very seldom they catch any disease. They, it is true, are
retired n m habit of asking particularly for gm on coming out of a sick-room:

- but they are accustomed to take, or do, whatsoever may be requisite to main-

tain the bodily conditions which resist or expel poisonous or morbiu effluvia.
YL2E AWEiQUJE. Look to your drains, by all means; but look also to the natural gates and

-r • •> - ,__t__1 , • • nr alleys of the body—keep them clear, and permeable, and pervious. By what

It is pleasant to make honourable mention, m Mr mJ ? Therein\he \ient n^steito himself if he can, or else should
col™ni' f°ft aching bearing the name of U ^ f y d ^ ^ ^ M know_ There j howey a lar
Jerrold. The latest aPP™ce of this name is m pa£aeea which he ^ tind invariably efficacious. The prophylactic as well as
conjunction with that of Gustave I)ore a household tPher tic of Punc1 of PJcKs Pocket-Booh, and Punch's Almanack,

word. Two artists have been making a pilgrimage are s£universally known an'd s0 deservedly celebrated that any recommenda-
through London together, and.each, with his own imple- ti beyond the merest reference to those powerful tonic, stimulant, and anti-
ment is recording his experiences the result to be a j publications would be superfluous puffery. How much caution soever the
beautiful book, whereof .an inviting specimen has t F^ rec0mmend in prescribing alcohol in whatsoever form, they are of
appeared Mr. Punch is glad to welcome a new L^i^ ]'^on that nohody need hesitate to give or take any quantity of
memorial of Augusta Innobantum, especially as that punc]L
city is being- so rapidly "improved," especially in the ' '
parts most likely to attract the eye of M. Dore, that it
will soon be all as colourless as a Boulevard or Regent
Street. If Mr. Jerrold will show M. Dore anything
that shall call out the power lavished on the houses in There is one thing worth note in the manners (or want of manners) of our
the pictures to a certain book of Contes, the two will present enemies the Looshai folk. The Standard says that they delight "in

transposition of the component parts of the names of places and chiefs.. Thus,
Sook-pi-Lal is often converted into Lal-pi-Sook. A similar practice fre-
quently prevails in British India ; the lower class of natives constantly substi-
tuting Nucklow for Lucknow." Call these people savages ! Why, they are as
witty as most members of the Stock Exchange. What higher flight can the
latter generally attain than the feat of calling " Robinson and Thomson"
"Tobinson and Romson," or saying that Jones lives at " Wampton Hick?"
We hope that these Orientals will be treated with as much consideration as may
be. They are none so uncivilised, as times go. Perhaps they like burlesques.

FAIR PLAY FOR LOOSHAI.

do the good deed of apprising posterity that London was
the production of architects, and not of excessively
respectable contractors for building purposes.

Hoyal Clemency.

We have heard, with gratification, that the remainder
of the sentence on John Poyntz Spencer, who was sent
to Ireland in 1868, and who has since been immured in
Dublin Castle, is likely to be remitted. His admirable
conduct during his exile has endeared him to all, and
his return will be warmly welcomed. It will be felt that
he has amply expiated the political offence of being a
Whig Head-Centre, and we trust that an honourable
future is in store for him.

Parallels for the People.

A bright idea is that of establishing "Public-houses without Drink."
Would it not be improved upon by the institution of Restaurants without
Meat ?