Punch (62.1872)

Maech 30, 1872.] PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 137

A VALUABLE ACQUISITION.

Dutiful Nephew. '' 0, Uncle, i thought you wouldn't Mind my bringing
my friend, grigg, from our office. hi ain't much to look at, and he

can't Dance, and he don't Talk, and he won't Play Cards-but he's

such a Mimic ! ! To-Morrow he'll Imitate you and Aunt Betsy in a
way that'll make all the fellows roar 1 ! i"'

TOWNS ON THE THAMES.

_ A summary of Dr. Frankland's analytical examina-
tions of the somewhat different Fluids supplied by the
several Metropolitan Water Companies respectively to
the Metropolitan people contains a statement especially
interesting to the inhabitants of the districts, S. and
S.W. :—

" The Chelsea and Lambeth Companies draw their supplies
from the Thames after it has received the polluted Mole and the
sewage of six hundred thousand people, including the filth ol
Oxford, Eeading, and Windsor."

The rest of the Water Companies' Fluids or Liquids
are described by Dr. Frankland as tarred, so to speak
as we are wont of solids, with the same brush as the
Chelsea and Lambeth, more or less, all but the Kent
Company, which "is the _ only one of the Metropolitan
Companies which draws its entire supply from chalk-
wells, and does not distribute any water from polluted
rivers."

We know that:—

" Kent in the Commentaries Csesar writ,
Is term'd the civill'st place of all this isle."

And, as regards water for drinking purposes, civilisa-
tion in Kent is unaccompanied by the results of civilisa-
tion elsewhere, namely the admixture imparted to rivers
by tributaries from towns to which a name is given
above. " Cometh up as a flower " is a saying applicable
to all the other Londoners than those supplied with the
Kent Company's water, since that on which the former
are reared is of a quality which renders it appropriate
for horticultural purposes. Of them, also, it is especially
true that all flesh is grass, since that which they drink
is about the same with what is better utilised in irriga-
tion. According to Dr. Frankland :—

"Living organisms were found in 1871 in most of the turbid
samples delivered by each of the Companies drawing their sup-
plies from the Thames, excepting only the West Middlesex,
which on all occasions sent out well-filtered water."

But the most perfect filtering will only strain the water
off the rest of it, and leave all that is soluble in solu-
tion. An Act compelling householders to incur heavy
expense for the means of being supplied with the Water
Companies' admixture has come into force. Let us hope
that it will be allowed to sleep until the Law or the
Legislature shall have stopped the contributions from
Towns to Thames.

OUR BOAT-RACE AND BROTHERS.

Come, foreigners of Europe, in England who behold

A nation ever on its knees before the Calf of Gold,

A moody, melancholy race that never can be gay,

John Bull, the dull boy Jack that's made by all work and no play.

Come to the bankside of the Thames, 0 most mistaken friends,
When year by year the Cambridge Crew with the Oxford Crew
contends;

Behold the British multitude in their glory and their glee,

Of eight youths 'gainst eight other youths a boat-race come to see.

Lo, that enthusiastic crowd immense on either hand,

How closely packed in steamboat, and in balcony, and stand !

In muslins of the lighter and the darker shade of blue

There are beings well your coming worth from e'er so far to view.

What! are we not lighthearted ? See what smiles are on each face !
Hark to the joyous buzz and hum of the British populace !
List their warm-hearted cheering as the gallant lads pull by,
And don't keep calling Britons cold with constant cuckoo-cry.

What happier people can you show at Carnival or fete,
In temporary little things with interest keen and great ?
0 'tis a sign of happiness,- above all other, to
Enjoy a mind intent upon what much concerns not you !

There are, that for the morrow cannot cease from taking thought,
For this world or the other who with cares are ever wrought,
They 're a small miserable set, poor creatures, who belong
To another kind of Englishmen than that unselfish throng.

You fancy, whilst those Masses in the Outward you survey
Absorbed, that they no taxes have, no rates, nor rent to pay ;
Yet laden with an Income-tax, e'en they, the chosen few,
At most are anxious but about their bets on either crew.

Do not, however, you whom to this Isle hath travel brought,
Yon People's objectivity ascribe to lack of thought;
No, Monsieur, no, good management of care has made then light,
And every one of them, mein Herr, has solved the Infinite.

There 's not another country in the world that you can show
Whose natives more on pastimes and on games their minds bestow
Than Britons, whom with all the rest of men if you compare,
You '11 find the reason why is that they've more of mind to spare.

What though the bitter North-east wind this year brought cold and
snow ?

The People still in their thousands went to see the scholars row.
For Englishmen, when sport's in view, heed neither snow nor ram.
Can France boast that ? Can Germany, or Italy, or Spam '■?

Their Most Sweet Voices.

The political friends and supporters of the Premier will rejoice to
learn that, whereas, at a meeting held in St. James's Hall, to protest
against the Parks Bill, Sir Charles Dilke and the Honourable Aube-
ron Herbert were received with " a storm of cheering " each ; " Mr.
Gladstone's name was hooted and hissed when mentioned." The
Republicans and Revolutionists have found Mr. Gladstone out.
The discovery will be most advantageous to the People's William
in the estimation of the majority of the people.

Vol. 62.

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