Punch (32.1857)

January 24, 1857.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI._^_

characteristics of both pouter and fantail; puffing themselves out as
well in front as in the opposite direction.

Returning tj» the poultry, Mr. Punch last inspected a prize pen of
Polish ; which proved to be inducive of the thought that had he him-
self condescended to have been an exhibitor, the prize in this case
would have been awarded differently; it being, he believes, universally
acknowledged that in the matter of polish, there has never been a pen
to equal that of Punch.

THE REVERSE OE PRUDENCE.

At a late Meeting of Middlesex Magistrates, Mr. W. Payne brought
up a report from the Committee in relation to criminal jurisprudence.
One would think the report in question must be brief, as the Com-
mittee can hardly have had much to say on that which does not exist
in England. Criminal jurisprudence is a science which we have yet to
learn: there is no such thing at present in Her Majesty's dominions.
On the contrary, the outrages committed, dady, by ruffians who have
been turned loose on society, clearly prove that our arrangements for
the disposal and discipline of our convicts have been dictated by the
very grossest jurisimprudence.

HE Poultry have been gathered beneath the wing of the
Crystal Palace, and the crowds who flocked to see them
have been such as one expects to encounter in the Poultry. " Among
the distinguished visitors who were present," the reporters have
omitted to announce the name of Mr. Punch, a slight which Mr. Punch,
whose distinction is in need of no such advertisement, is willing to
forgive.

The show consisting of more than a thousand pens, Punch will not
attempt with his single one to make individual mention of them all;
but for further information he would refer the curious to the
Catalogue.

To have added to the musical attractions of the Palace, the show
might not inaptly have been advertised as a concert, the pieces for
performance being principally by Cocks and Co. There were indeed
so many bright chanticleers assembled to proclaim the morn, that it
would nave somewhat puzzled the Ghost of Hamlet's Father to have
known which particular cockcrow to select as his signal for departure.
The voices of the game cocks were especially triumphant, as though
crowing over the downfall (in price that is, for on their legs they stand
as high as ever) of their late antagonists the Cochins, whose melan-
choly notes seemed sounding a lament that the good old Cochin days
are over, and that they are now quite off the road to fame. Punch
noticed several attempts to bring their disputes to the decision of the
beak, and the struggles which they made to do so, stretching out their
necks and pecking round the corner at their next door neighbours,
induced the reflection that to "live like fighting cocks " can hardly be
as enviable as the saying seems to hint.

Stepping rather quickly past the long-legged Malays, and not being
judge enough to know for what good point such skinny creatures could
be " highly commended," Punch lingered with reflective fondness by
the edible-looking, plump, and appetising Dorkings, and thought how
much their appearance would improve with oyster-sauce and parsley.
Some of them being marked for sale at the " reduced price " of ten
and even twenty guineas, Mr. Punch was strongly tempted to smack
his mental hps at them, and estimate the value of their liver wings,
and wonder if the eggs they laid were really golden ones.

Mr. Punch next honoured the rabbits with a visit, and finding that
the prizes were awarded chiefly for their length of ears, thought of
certain ears which shortly he expects to see in the St. Stephen's Show,
and which he considers might have fittingly competed. Among the
pigeons, the least formidable looking were the " dragons," and as a
descendant of St. George, Mr. Punch would back himself to demolish
any number of them—due attention being paid to their being nicely
baked. The fantails and pouters seemed the swells of the assemblage,
and strutted up and down like beadle-birds, swelling with importance'.
Ladies who wear Crinoline—and who of them does not ?—combine the

A MILLINER'S SHOP IS ONLY A DUCK-POND.

A Miserable grumbling victim of a husband anathematises those
seductively pretty bonnets that milliners will exhibit in their shop-
windows to tempt poor frad women to step inside and purchase. He
nforms us that they are generally " show-bonnets," bought at a large
price in Paris, and kept purposely before the public female eye as an
alluring bait to catch customers. But few can resist the temptation.
A wife looks—sads round it—admires and admires—ventures closer
and closer—opens her mouth—and with one bold gulp she and her
purse are fairly hooked and taken in. Therefore, our above-mentioned
victim declares that whenever, to his sorrow and cost he overhears his
wife, in an ecstacy of uncontrollable admiration, exclaim, " There's a
Duck of a Bonnet! " he always says, as tenderly as he can, "No, my
dear, not a Duck, but a DecoyDuck of a Bonnet. It is only placed
there just to induce a pretty little Duck, like yourself, my dear, to rush
in after another! " The first time he tried this tender remonstrance, it
had the effect, he says, of saving his wd'e from plunging into the
inevitable vortex of extravagance, but he regrets to add that it has
never succeeded since! He characterises a milliner's shop as a Duck-
Pond, full of nothing but Decoy-Ducks,

HORRID SPLENDOUR.

Lord Campbell, in Lis lately published Lives of the Chancellors,
indulges in the foUowing jocose remark:—

" I am grieved to say that since the year 1845, when the above sketch of the office
of Lord Chancellor was composed, it has been sadly shorn of its splendour."

In stating that the Lord ChanceUorship has been shorn of its
splendour, the Lord Chief Justice of course means to say that the
abuses and iniquities of Chancery have been rendered somewhat less
glaring. They are stdl, however, sufficiently so to render the Court of
Chancery much too splendid.

The Hero of the Nil(e).

The papers speak highly of Clifford's plan of lowering boats. "We
wonder if the plan is at all equal to the one that Sir Charles Napier
tried before Cronstadt of lowering EngHsh men-of-war, for without
making a single move, or striking as much as a blow, he contrived to
let down, in the estimation of foreigners, an entire British Eleet.