Punch (32.1857)

M^cn 21, 1857.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. HI

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

9th. Monday. The Earl
of Shaftesbury got
the Government to pro-
mise that Sib, Richard

, Bethell and Mb. Stu-

abt wobtley should

say whether our India
merchants are right in
smuggling opium into
China; but it was upon
the distinct understand-
ing that whatever the
A. G. and S. G. might
i reply, Government are
J not committed to under-
take to do anything.
John Chinaman, pre-
cious little innocent pet
as he is in the eyes
of the Bishop of Ox-
ford (who dandles him
affectionately, as por-
trayed in the adjacent
cartoon), is becoming a
terrible,; nuisance to
everybody else, including
the China-Coalition.
In the Commons, Mb

objecting to pay for this) and revenue
expenses—not a bad half-hour's
work.

| had really had enough of

V them, and meant to re-

\ tire at the end of the

Session Next night
Lord Palmerston.Mr.
Disraeli, Lord John
Russell, and Sib John
Pakington, delivered
orations in his honour,
and the House addressed
the Queen, asking Her

to give him a peerage, to which the Commons promised to add a pension. Her Majesty assented,
and on Friday the complimentary intention of the House was carried out. Mr. Lefevre is the
only Member of any House of Commons within Mb. Punch's becollection, with whom that
Gentleman has never found a single fault. Without undervaluing a peerage or a pension of
£4,000 a-year, Mr. Punch feels that in placing the above fact upon record, in small capitals, he has done
far more than even his Sovereign or Parliament, towards rewarding his Lordship for eighteen years
of valuable service.

On the second reading of the bill for reducing the Income-Tax, Mr. Disraeli had a few flings at
the Premier, and sneered at " turbulent and aggressive diplomacy;" and Lord Palmerston, in
return, recapitulated a few of his own merits, and scoffed at the phrase manufactured by Dizzy for an
election cry. Mr. Gladstone cavilled at everything that Government had done, and Lord John
Russell also grumbled a good deal, but in a more practical tone. He also strongly protested against
the American proposition touching England's surrender of her maritime rights, and Mr. Punch, for auld
lang syne, is glad to set down any commendable word or deed on the part of an old friend who is his
own worst enemy. Sir Charles Wood then asked for and received 53,700 men for the navy, to_ be at
his service till the 3rd of July. A million and a half of money, or so, was, of course, handed to him for
expenses.

Tuesday. The Lords did nothing, beyond agreeing to a new plan for taking their divisions without
turning out strangers—assimilating their system to that in the Commons, savf the important exception
of the Proxy.

In the Commons Mr. Spooner promised—everybody knows what—for the next session. The hunting
season is nearly over, but if that daring and good-natured fox-hunter, the Horsetaming Newdegate,
in return for many kindnesses from Mr. Punch, would oblige him by trying to ride over his intolerable
colleague in the course of the next fortnight, Nimrod N. shall have a session's immunity for his ultra-
Protestantism. Is it a bargain ?

William Williams and Apsley Pellatt, being the only two Metropolitan Members who voted for
dishonouring the national flag, and maltreating the country's servants, thought it necessary to try a bit
of clap-trap for their Lambeth and Southwark constituents, so brought in a motion which they knew
could not be carried, for abolishing the Income-Tax on incomes under £150. Only five other humbugs
voted with them, and though constituencies that return such persons are shown, ipso facto, to be very
foolish, such a transparent trick as tins can hardly be serviceable. An abstract proposition of Mr.
Gladstone's, about revision of taxation, was advanced by him for the sake of talking, and negatived
when there had been talking enough, or a trifle later.

Wednesday. The Imaum of Muscat has ceded to England the Kooria Mooria islands, wherein is much
guano. It may not be generally known that this oriental Party claims sovereignty over immense
territory, and lots of islands, Asiatic and African; has a large naval force, and seems to be a very just
and liberal despot. We do not believe that anybody in the House of Commons, (except, perhaps, some
young lady in the gallery,) when Sir James Duke asked for some correspondence on the subject, could
nave given, off-hand, the above information. Twenty-one millions were voted to meet Exchequer _ bills
for this year, and three millions for civil services (including education, some members patriotically

Thursday^ Lord Derby threatened
the Peers with a speech, on the subject
of the coming Dissolution, with which
he is naturally as much dissatisfied as
most men are with the distressing
results of a blunder which they in-
tended for a masterpiece of cleverness.
He rammed a blunderbuss chock full
of faction, and gave it to three mis-
chievous fellows to fire off. They
pulled the trigger, and the recoil lias
knocked them all backwards, and lie
will have a good deal to pay before he
hears the last of the affair.

Lord Ellenborqugk, under cover
of some remarks in favour of our
keeping scrupulous faith with the
Chinese, gave some capital practical
advice as to the best mode of making
war upon them. Lord Panmure
promised to maintain the honour c2
the Elag, and said that Government
were going to send out an officer to
negociate for what was just and
reasonable, and if he could not get
that, he would fall on China with all
his might. Lord Panmure trusting
in Providence for a successfid re-
Shaw Lefevre/ the ! suit. The envoy is Lord Elgin.
Speaker, stated that he | The same clay came the mail, with

news that Admiral Seymour had
given the Chinese a further hint that
we were in earnest, by burning down
the western suburbs of Canton.

The Commons did an excellent thing
—their approaching end evidently ins-
presses them with virtuous sentiments.
Mr. Pale, a Conservative country
member, moved a resolution for xhe
recognition, by the House, of the ser-
vices of Sir John MTMeill and
Colonel Tulloch, the Crimean Com-
missioners. He ably recapitulated
their labours, and though the Govern-
ment did not like a vote which delibe-
rately recorded the conviction of the
House that the Board at Chelsea was a
sham, got up to scour the dirty reputa-
tions of persons with aristocratic con-
nections, the proximity of the Hustings
forbade fight for the Horse-Guards,
and an address to the Crown (Sidney
Herbert supporting it), was voted,_
praying a signal acknowledgment of
the merits of the Commissioners. The
frightful profanity which this decision
has caused at the military clubs, can
only be estimated by those who have
seen an ignorant, gallant, bullying,
gouty old officer, in a purple rage.

Ered. Peel then asked for and re-
ceived 126,796 men for the army, to
be at his service for four months. A
couple of millions, or so, was of course
handed to him for expenses.

Friday. Lord Campbell seems de-
termined to be a Real Blessing to the
Press. He hoped that in next Session
the grievances to which journalists are
exposed by the law of libel would be
redressed, and he specially adverted
to the abominable costs which a news-
paper incurs in defending itself against
the attack of a worthless plaintiff and
a greedy attorney, even when the
brace of rascals are kicked out of
court by a jury. The L. C. J. thought
that some measure might be devised
for making the costs in such a case
fall upon the party who brought the
action. This wrould certainly be an
improvement, to which might be added