DOI issue:
April 11, 1857
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16619#0149
April 11, 1857.]
THE "RECORD" ON THE TURF.
SUBJECTS FOR SPECULATION.
OW droll it is to meet ?-UE Er£?P?Hi°f the1f^ri°Ualimm, after
with a fast man in a askin& .Wnahs the world ?" and kindly tellmg
suit of black and a
white choker! Equally
funny was it to us to
meet, the other day,
with the subjoined pas-
sage in the Record.
The subject referred to
is Lord Derbv's view
>^w4^ -^f^s^^^^*- ing an average among all
*n ^f-tS^Sirt^N the actual opinions, and
^v^> ^ thus avoiding the risk of
us that it is nothing but "a huge market open
to speculation," proceeds to say :—
"People speculate on positions as they do on corn. One
man speculates on the greenness of his neighbour, another
on his ignorance."
The " greenness" of our neighbours is cer-
tainly the largest field of speculation we ever
heard of. But we fancy there are speculators
of matters clerical:- J»h" work ?°th on the greenness and the
«... ignorance ot their neighbours, li we are
logil^Xdnl^morll mistaken, we think the Directors of the
dignity of such aschemc, the i British Bank speculated largely m both ways.
Noble Earl ought to know j But perhaps by this time Mr. Apsley Pellatt
that no problem of the Turt has recovere(i his recollection, and so we will
—where the books have to <• .1 1 ,. , • , . ,
be made up among a dozen | reter the speculative question to him. As one
favourites—is half so com-
plex as his simple plan for
securing a safe and sensible
style of Churchmanshipand
Church patronage, by strik-
thus avoiding the risk of
perilous extremes."
of the large dealers in the "huge market of
speculation," probably he can inform us how
many sheep and geese were annually sold,
slaughtered, and plucked there ? He need only
give us an approximate number, for we are well
aware that the Directors of .the British Bank
were not over particular to a hundred or two.
In the above passage we think we recognise a literary clergyman who exhibits a familiarity
with a sort of book-making very different from the composition of sermon-books and tracts. The Grammar of Ornament.
We hail the appearance of a sporting parson in the Itecord. He much enliven the « Do mean fo D t})at th kdieg
columns ol our serious contemporary. Who can he be . lhe Ktv. Mr. Argus, or the Ke\ .
Mit. Vates?—if so, what are his prophetical views of the approaching Epsom ? No doubt,
ne knows as much about the Derby of that ilk, as he does of the noble leader of the: Op p o - ] t a - j theladies^are "far more supcrkl
sition. He can probablv give us accurate information respecting Gemma at rergy and five than t& men"
Fisherman, and is capable of talking by the card of Dorling At the celebration of the [m b p u t f f (k „ Q
ivrf^f nfiiiAn.i b/-vi-or> vinr, urn c.w->r.^f th-it kn nppilYIV a crnr\f\ r\ tlPf HU TOP hot till CT-<1 (111 H HI* L ~ ^ J
are more positive than the men ? "
Comparatively speaking they may be, Madam,
mar of Ornament" was overheard at a
wedding-breakfast in Hoe City.
great national horse-race we expect that he will occupy a good place on the betting-stand, or
at least will be stationed on the outside of a drag at a distance not remote from Tattenham's
Corner. We wonder if he is versed in the canine, fistic, and other departments of sport,
or whether the Turf is his speciality ?
Most likely, his attention is restricted to one line: the Record would hardly stand a Our City Article.—Currie has been done
contributor whose taste in sport was catholic. in the City at a very low figure.
HEAVY BODIES.
Monsieur Babixet tells us that the earth, after recent determina-
tions of its compactness, is equivalent to a weight of
" 0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 de kilogrammes. Cela fait six mille milliards de
milliards de tonnes."
This may be true or not, for it is not in the power of every one to
take the world in his hand, and weigh it like an orange, as easily as
an astronomer. However, we only record the above weighty conclu-
sion in order to put upon paper our melancholy misgivings that the
Parliament about to assemble will be not less heavy than the earth
itself, and our misgivings are founded upon the fact of the inordinate
number of ciphers it will contain. Palmerston, of course, repre-
sents, as above indicated, the unit 6, which gives to the long tail of
zeros that are running after him the only value that they have; besides,
it is no exaggeration to say, that Pal>ierston, as measured by the other
members, is well worth any half-dozen of them.
for belonging to it: to whose memory he trusts that the new Parlia-
ment will pay a fitting tribute, by a vote of its condolence with the
Absent Teas.
POLITICAL ABSENTEE [SM.
By the general choice, or election, of the country, Mr. Cobden's
small tea-party has been made a thorough case of tea and turn-out.
Purely through an accident the Yehs "had it" in the House; but
upon appeal that judgment is reversed, and the Ex-Member for the
Pdding, m the losing of his seat, is saddled with the costs. Those who
1 bought that Mr. Cobden was going the whole hog in his censure of
John Bull, and his defence of the Chinese, have been verified in
linding him an out-and-outer.
But Punch is not so gallinaceous as to crow over a defeat like that
of Richard Cobden. With all his dislike to the Chinese Protec-
tionist, Punch cannot lose remembrance of the English Freetrader.
We all have our weak points, and a man of such mettle as Bichard
Cobden proved himself in 18i6, may be excused for showing a few
flaw's some ten years later. Therefore Punch is not so chuckle-headed
as to raise a chuckle over Cobden's expulsion from the House, how-
ever much lie may hurrah to find no echo in the country to the voice of
the Ex-Member on the China question. Although considering the
break-up of the tea-party with unmixed satisfaction, Punch can but
feel regret at the dismemberment of those who have been turned out
Theory and Practice.
Mr. Layard has been politely shown the door at Aylesbury. Will
the honourable discoverer of Assyrian and English bulls be inclined
to look upon this as the best illustration of his own injunction to put
"the right man in the right place!" The illustration strikes us as
being both personal and out-of-the-way, but what says Mr. Layard ?
[Advertisement.]
PHILHARMONIC SOCIETY.—A few Candidates for election may
-t apply. No testimonials wanted, as the qualification now recognised is the
member's being known to nobody, and having done nothing. To save trouble, no
person who has had the bad taste to obtrude himself upon public attention, as
composer or executant, need apply, as rejection will certainly ensue. To quiet
members of suburban quartette societies, to teachers of music in ladies' schools, and
to organists in retired districts, an opportunity now offers. Late elections afford the
best guarantee against members of the Philharmonic Society being insulted or
annoyed by the admission of what are termed celebrities. Preliminary applications,
to be signed Nemo, Otitis, llebts, or some equivalent synonyme, may be delivered at
lhe Society's Rooms, after dark. N.B. A few cracked Fiddles wanted.
THE "RECORD" ON THE TURF.
SUBJECTS FOR SPECULATION.
OW droll it is to meet ?-UE Er£?P?Hi°f the1f^ri°Ualimm, after
with a fast man in a askin& .Wnahs the world ?" and kindly tellmg
suit of black and a
white choker! Equally
funny was it to us to
meet, the other day,
with the subjoined pas-
sage in the Record.
The subject referred to
is Lord Derbv's view
>^w4^ -^f^s^^^^*- ing an average among all
*n ^f-tS^Sirt^N the actual opinions, and
^v^> ^ thus avoiding the risk of
us that it is nothing but "a huge market open
to speculation," proceeds to say :—
"People speculate on positions as they do on corn. One
man speculates on the greenness of his neighbour, another
on his ignorance."
The " greenness" of our neighbours is cer-
tainly the largest field of speculation we ever
heard of. But we fancy there are speculators
of matters clerical:- J»h" work ?°th on the greenness and the
«... ignorance ot their neighbours, li we are
logil^Xdnl^morll mistaken, we think the Directors of the
dignity of such aschemc, the i British Bank speculated largely m both ways.
Noble Earl ought to know j But perhaps by this time Mr. Apsley Pellatt
that no problem of the Turt has recovere(i his recollection, and so we will
—where the books have to <• .1 1 ,. , • , . ,
be made up among a dozen | reter the speculative question to him. As one
favourites—is half so com-
plex as his simple plan for
securing a safe and sensible
style of Churchmanshipand
Church patronage, by strik-
thus avoiding the risk of
perilous extremes."
of the large dealers in the "huge market of
speculation," probably he can inform us how
many sheep and geese were annually sold,
slaughtered, and plucked there ? He need only
give us an approximate number, for we are well
aware that the Directors of .the British Bank
were not over particular to a hundred or two.
In the above passage we think we recognise a literary clergyman who exhibits a familiarity
with a sort of book-making very different from the composition of sermon-books and tracts. The Grammar of Ornament.
We hail the appearance of a sporting parson in the Itecord. He much enliven the « Do mean fo D t})at th kdieg
columns ol our serious contemporary. Who can he be . lhe Ktv. Mr. Argus, or the Ke\ .
Mit. Vates?—if so, what are his prophetical views of the approaching Epsom ? No doubt,
ne knows as much about the Derby of that ilk, as he does of the noble leader of the: Op p o - ] t a - j theladies^are "far more supcrkl
sition. He can probablv give us accurate information respecting Gemma at rergy and five than t& men"
Fisherman, and is capable of talking by the card of Dorling At the celebration of the [m b p u t f f (k „ Q
ivrf^f nfiiiAn.i b/-vi-or> vinr, urn c.w->r.^f th-it kn nppilYIV a crnr\f\ r\ tlPf HU TOP hot till CT-<1 (111 H HI* L ~ ^ J
are more positive than the men ? "
Comparatively speaking they may be, Madam,
mar of Ornament" was overheard at a
wedding-breakfast in Hoe City.
great national horse-race we expect that he will occupy a good place on the betting-stand, or
at least will be stationed on the outside of a drag at a distance not remote from Tattenham's
Corner. We wonder if he is versed in the canine, fistic, and other departments of sport,
or whether the Turf is his speciality ?
Most likely, his attention is restricted to one line: the Record would hardly stand a Our City Article.—Currie has been done
contributor whose taste in sport was catholic. in the City at a very low figure.
HEAVY BODIES.
Monsieur Babixet tells us that the earth, after recent determina-
tions of its compactness, is equivalent to a weight of
" 0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 de kilogrammes. Cela fait six mille milliards de
milliards de tonnes."
This may be true or not, for it is not in the power of every one to
take the world in his hand, and weigh it like an orange, as easily as
an astronomer. However, we only record the above weighty conclu-
sion in order to put upon paper our melancholy misgivings that the
Parliament about to assemble will be not less heavy than the earth
itself, and our misgivings are founded upon the fact of the inordinate
number of ciphers it will contain. Palmerston, of course, repre-
sents, as above indicated, the unit 6, which gives to the long tail of
zeros that are running after him the only value that they have; besides,
it is no exaggeration to say, that Pal>ierston, as measured by the other
members, is well worth any half-dozen of them.
for belonging to it: to whose memory he trusts that the new Parlia-
ment will pay a fitting tribute, by a vote of its condolence with the
Absent Teas.
POLITICAL ABSENTEE [SM.
By the general choice, or election, of the country, Mr. Cobden's
small tea-party has been made a thorough case of tea and turn-out.
Purely through an accident the Yehs "had it" in the House; but
upon appeal that judgment is reversed, and the Ex-Member for the
Pdding, m the losing of his seat, is saddled with the costs. Those who
1 bought that Mr. Cobden was going the whole hog in his censure of
John Bull, and his defence of the Chinese, have been verified in
linding him an out-and-outer.
But Punch is not so gallinaceous as to crow over a defeat like that
of Richard Cobden. With all his dislike to the Chinese Protec-
tionist, Punch cannot lose remembrance of the English Freetrader.
We all have our weak points, and a man of such mettle as Bichard
Cobden proved himself in 18i6, may be excused for showing a few
flaw's some ten years later. Therefore Punch is not so chuckle-headed
as to raise a chuckle over Cobden's expulsion from the House, how-
ever much lie may hurrah to find no echo in the country to the voice of
the Ex-Member on the China question. Although considering the
break-up of the tea-party with unmixed satisfaction, Punch can but
feel regret at the dismemberment of those who have been turned out
Theory and Practice.
Mr. Layard has been politely shown the door at Aylesbury. Will
the honourable discoverer of Assyrian and English bulls be inclined
to look upon this as the best illustration of his own injunction to put
"the right man in the right place!" The illustration strikes us as
being both personal and out-of-the-way, but what says Mr. Layard ?
[Advertisement.]
PHILHARMONIC SOCIETY.—A few Candidates for election may
-t apply. No testimonials wanted, as the qualification now recognised is the
member's being known to nobody, and having done nothing. To save trouble, no
person who has had the bad taste to obtrude himself upon public attention, as
composer or executant, need apply, as rejection will certainly ensue. To quiet
members of suburban quartette societies, to teachers of music in ladies' schools, and
to organists in retired districts, an opportunity now offers. Late elections afford the
best guarantee against members of the Philharmonic Society being insulted or
annoyed by the admission of what are termed celebrities. Preliminary applications,
to be signed Nemo, Otitis, llebts, or some equivalent synonyme, may be delivered at
lhe Society's Rooms, after dark. N.B. A few cracked Fiddles wanted.