Punch: Punch (40.1861)

“ r\ RACKING our walnuts and sipping our claret,” as the present Leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition is said to
\J have begun the first leading article in the first number of the “ Representative ” newspaper (only for “ cracking ”
and “ walnuts,” read “smashing” and “strawberries”), We, Punch the Pirst and Last, were pondering over our own
•virtues, and many other less palpable things, when Toby, frightened for the only time in his life, dashed frantically into
the presence-chamber, and got under a chair.

“ Why this excitement, dog of our soul p ” demanded Mr. Punch.

Toby signified in canine Latin, a trifle purer than that which it is thought certain hierarchs of the Shaftesbury
creation would indite, if hurried, that a dreadful Deputation was coming up.

“ Quid immerentes hospites vexas, canis ? ” said his master. “ Thou hast seen Deputations before—wild Sab-
batarians, loud Irishry, maddened Spanish bond-holders, frantic Bank-victims, rabid Chartists—what is this strange Terror
that has come upon thee ? Speak, dog ! ”

“ Gorillus, gorilla, gorillum,” stammered Toby, in the excess of his fright.

And truly, as the animal spoke, the door opened widely, and a group of Gorillas entered. Entered noisily, and
with some of the effrontery which belongs to the simious race both in Europe and Africa. But not more speedily was the
clownish Cymon awed, first, into reverence, and, next, into qualifying himself for Competitive Examination, by the sight ot
the young beauty of Iphigenia, than were these African travellers astounded, and educated into the proprieties, by The ,
Presence. Eoremost came their chief—

“ The Fool of Nature stood with stupid eyes.

And gaping mouth that testified surprise.

Long mute he stood, then, turning to his staff,

His wonder witnessed with an idiot laugh.

Then would have spoke, but by his glimmering sense
First found his want of words, and feared offence.”

The Great Teacher permitted the lesson to saturate the whole being of his guests, and gazed benignly while they toned
themselves down to a becoming modesty and stillness. Then, taking pity on their dumb, inarticulate helplessness, and
remembering that, like the wise Queen Elizabeth, he knew the language of every Ambassador that approached the
throne, he said, affably,—

“ Bob choddery Jiairyopagus snick bungjungle liippocampo mi chowder gum benjamin ?”

Tears came into the eyes of the poor Gorillas as they heard their native tongue, spoken with sweetness and purity.

“ Slabbito gastly nebuchadnezzar ”—began the spokesman, but his feelings overpowered him, and he broke down
under the weight of emotion.

“ Take your time,” said Mr. Punch, still speaking in the Gorilla tongue. He, however, translates the rest of the
dialogue, for all his readers are not Gorillas.

“ 0, Mr. Punch,” said the Gorilla Ambassador, “I come from Africa.”