DOI Heft:
April 20, 1861
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0167
April 20, 1861.]
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
150
Arthur. “Mamma! Isn’t Mb. Blanque a wicked man?”
Mamma. “ Wicked, my dear ! No ! What makes you ask such a Question?”
Arthur. “Why, because, Mamma, dear, when he comes into Church, he
doesn’t SMELL HIS HAT as other people do ! ”
PERSONAL POEMS.
1.
On sticking up a Gvy in the Garden to frighten away
the Birds.
1 Never gave a coat away.
Or sold one with a view to thrift,
I wear my things so long, they say.
That none will have them at a gift.
And should T, for a market, go
And take my wardrobe to the Jews,
All Israel would decline the cio’
Which e’en poor clergymen refuse.
2.
On Bating my Dinner.
Happy the man with food content,
That is, who needs no condiment
But simple sauces, such as are
Salt, pepper, mustard, vinegar.
No indigestion doth molest
Him daily, or disturb his rest ;
He leads a life exempt from bile,
And at the pangs of gout may smile.
Him puffs and advertising bills
Of Holloway’s and other Pills
Concern not; he no physic lacks
And never can be duped by quacks.
Give me my chop or steak—with beer—
And ’taters, whilst I linger here,
And I shall never sigh or care
For turtle soup, and all that ’ere.
The Frailty of Proverbs.
We are told that, “Where there’s a Will, there’s a
Way;” but you only just try to throw a Will into Chan-
cery, and if ever you find your Way out of it, we will
pronounce you to be one of the cleverest fellows alive,
such as Barnum would give any amount of money for, if
only for the purpose of exhibiting you. Just try it!
MAWWORMS IN A MILK-WALK.
The Russians use lemon in their tea instead of milk, and we think
the Glasgow people had best learn to do the same, if they would take
that drink on Sunday without making wry faces at it.—Anyhow, if
what we lately heard be acted on, the luxury of milk will soon no
longer be allowed them, unless they drink it stale and sour, in which
case we think lemon would certainly be preferable. At a meeting of
the dairymen, convened the other day in the Nelson Street Conventicle,
the following motion was proposed and unanimously passed:—
“ That feeling convinced that it is the right and duty of all classes of the Com-
munity to observe as far as possible, the Sabbath rest, and to participate in its
blessings and advantages, knowing besides that the present indiscriminate retail
traffic in Milk on the Sabbath day, prevents themselves and their servants from
enjoying the aforesaid privileges, aud leads to many more evils than the entire
abolition of the traffic, this meeting of the Dairymen of Glasgow resolve to petition
the Magistrates and Town Council of the City cf Glasgow to insert in the New
Police Bill a Clause prohibiting the sale of milk on the Sabbath.”
This is all very right and proper, we feel sure, so far as the well-
being of the cowkolders is concerned. If they think that the bare act
of selling milk upon the Sabbath will in any way imperil their spiritual
welfare, of course one cannot blame them for retiring from the trade.
Still, one cannot help inquiring—How about the cows ? and asking if
they ’ll suffer much from not having been milked.
To make their step complete, we really think these pious dairymen
should not only shut up shop and stop their sale upon the Sabbath,
but should take measures to arrest the manufacture of the article,
which, in the present course of Nature, proceeds as well on Sundays
as on any other day. A meeting of the cows should be immediately
convened, and an endeavour should be made to acquaint them with
what passed at the meeting of the donkeys to which we have referred.
Some calf of a cowkeeper may there perhaps explain that, with the
view to carry out the object of that meeting, the cows will not be fed
after milking time on Saturday, so that their lacteal manufacture may
be stopped. How the cows may like this, we will not pretend to
say, nor how the Sabbath starving will be relished by the thousands
of small children in Glasgow, to whom milk may be considered a
necessity of life. Perhaps if the Society for Cruelty Prevention thinks
the cows will suffer, it will interfere and take them from their keepers’
care on Sundays, and take upon itself the sins of feeding them and
milking them and distributing their milk.
It is of little use, we fear, to preach common sense to bigots, or to
reason with mere fools; but we think it will be obvious to ordinary
minds, that so long as cows and children have an appetite on Sundays,
30 long it will be natural and right that they should eat; and that
while cowkeepers do but assist the laws of Nature, they need not fear
they are infringing the laws of Nature’s God.
PANSLAVISM IN THE SOUTHERN STATES.
The Paris correspondent of a contemporary communicates the fol-
lowing piece of American intelligence :—
“By the way, a strange report is in circulation. It is said that some Roman
Catholics of the South have proposed to offer the Southern States to Francis thb
Second of Naples, with monarchical institutions.”
This report is probably what French slang calls a duck, and English
slang a sell and a shave. Charity would like to believe it, because, if
it were true, it would say something for the Christianity of the Southern
States. Hitherto the Slaveowners have given no reply to the questions.
Are you doing as you would be done by in keeping niggers like cattle,
and governing them with the cowhide ? How would you like to be
slaves yourselves ? The Southerners would satisfactorily answer these
inquiries by choosing Bombalino for their sovereign.
A DAINTY DOG.
In Sheffield there is a King Charles Spaniel that won’t eat plum,
pudding, unless there’s brandy-sauce to it!
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
150
Arthur. “Mamma! Isn’t Mb. Blanque a wicked man?”
Mamma. “ Wicked, my dear ! No ! What makes you ask such a Question?”
Arthur. “Why, because, Mamma, dear, when he comes into Church, he
doesn’t SMELL HIS HAT as other people do ! ”
PERSONAL POEMS.
1.
On sticking up a Gvy in the Garden to frighten away
the Birds.
1 Never gave a coat away.
Or sold one with a view to thrift,
I wear my things so long, they say.
That none will have them at a gift.
And should T, for a market, go
And take my wardrobe to the Jews,
All Israel would decline the cio’
Which e’en poor clergymen refuse.
2.
On Bating my Dinner.
Happy the man with food content,
That is, who needs no condiment
But simple sauces, such as are
Salt, pepper, mustard, vinegar.
No indigestion doth molest
Him daily, or disturb his rest ;
He leads a life exempt from bile,
And at the pangs of gout may smile.
Him puffs and advertising bills
Of Holloway’s and other Pills
Concern not; he no physic lacks
And never can be duped by quacks.
Give me my chop or steak—with beer—
And ’taters, whilst I linger here,
And I shall never sigh or care
For turtle soup, and all that ’ere.
The Frailty of Proverbs.
We are told that, “Where there’s a Will, there’s a
Way;” but you only just try to throw a Will into Chan-
cery, and if ever you find your Way out of it, we will
pronounce you to be one of the cleverest fellows alive,
such as Barnum would give any amount of money for, if
only for the purpose of exhibiting you. Just try it!
MAWWORMS IN A MILK-WALK.
The Russians use lemon in their tea instead of milk, and we think
the Glasgow people had best learn to do the same, if they would take
that drink on Sunday without making wry faces at it.—Anyhow, if
what we lately heard be acted on, the luxury of milk will soon no
longer be allowed them, unless they drink it stale and sour, in which
case we think lemon would certainly be preferable. At a meeting of
the dairymen, convened the other day in the Nelson Street Conventicle,
the following motion was proposed and unanimously passed:—
“ That feeling convinced that it is the right and duty of all classes of the Com-
munity to observe as far as possible, the Sabbath rest, and to participate in its
blessings and advantages, knowing besides that the present indiscriminate retail
traffic in Milk on the Sabbath day, prevents themselves and their servants from
enjoying the aforesaid privileges, aud leads to many more evils than the entire
abolition of the traffic, this meeting of the Dairymen of Glasgow resolve to petition
the Magistrates and Town Council of the City cf Glasgow to insert in the New
Police Bill a Clause prohibiting the sale of milk on the Sabbath.”
This is all very right and proper, we feel sure, so far as the well-
being of the cowkolders is concerned. If they think that the bare act
of selling milk upon the Sabbath will in any way imperil their spiritual
welfare, of course one cannot blame them for retiring from the trade.
Still, one cannot help inquiring—How about the cows ? and asking if
they ’ll suffer much from not having been milked.
To make their step complete, we really think these pious dairymen
should not only shut up shop and stop their sale upon the Sabbath,
but should take measures to arrest the manufacture of the article,
which, in the present course of Nature, proceeds as well on Sundays
as on any other day. A meeting of the cows should be immediately
convened, and an endeavour should be made to acquaint them with
what passed at the meeting of the donkeys to which we have referred.
Some calf of a cowkeeper may there perhaps explain that, with the
view to carry out the object of that meeting, the cows will not be fed
after milking time on Saturday, so that their lacteal manufacture may
be stopped. How the cows may like this, we will not pretend to
say, nor how the Sabbath starving will be relished by the thousands
of small children in Glasgow, to whom milk may be considered a
necessity of life. Perhaps if the Society for Cruelty Prevention thinks
the cows will suffer, it will interfere and take them from their keepers’
care on Sundays, and take upon itself the sins of feeding them and
milking them and distributing their milk.
It is of little use, we fear, to preach common sense to bigots, or to
reason with mere fools; but we think it will be obvious to ordinary
minds, that so long as cows and children have an appetite on Sundays,
30 long it will be natural and right that they should eat; and that
while cowkeepers do but assist the laws of Nature, they need not fear
they are infringing the laws of Nature’s God.
PANSLAVISM IN THE SOUTHERN STATES.
The Paris correspondent of a contemporary communicates the fol-
lowing piece of American intelligence :—
“By the way, a strange report is in circulation. It is said that some Roman
Catholics of the South have proposed to offer the Southern States to Francis thb
Second of Naples, with monarchical institutions.”
This report is probably what French slang calls a duck, and English
slang a sell and a shave. Charity would like to believe it, because, if
it were true, it would say something for the Christianity of the Southern
States. Hitherto the Slaveowners have given no reply to the questions.
Are you doing as you would be done by in keeping niggers like cattle,
and governing them with the cowhide ? How would you like to be
slaves yourselves ? The Southerners would satisfactorily answer these
inquiries by choosing Bombalino for their sovereign.
A DAINTY DOG.
In Sheffield there is a King Charles Spaniel that won’t eat plum,
pudding, unless there’s brandy-sauce to it!