Punch: Punch (40.1861)

April 13, 1861.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

147

At the Havmarket play-bill’s head
“ THE MILLER AND HIS MEN ” I

read,

A weight of years my mind off
Upon the instant seemed to fall,

I was again an urchin small—

Forgotten, toils and cares and all,

I cried aloud, “ A cab go call,

I will revisit Grindoff! ”

TEE GRINDOFF OF OUR YOUTH.

What joy, as on my way I rolled,

To live again youth’s age of sold.

To tear life’s bitter rind off;

To taste anew its kernel sweet—

As once, when Fancy Hope would meet
Round Eairbairn’s richly-coloured sheet.
With cast of characters complete,

From Kelmar up to Grindoff!

I see them now! The fair Claudine—
Ravina too, the bandit queen,

With slow-match coil to wind off—
Riber, Golotz, ferocious brutes !

In tabbed and buckled bandit-suits ;

Count Fribourg, splendid in his bools,
Carl, and Loth-air, who bravelv shoots.
After humbugging, Grindoff!

And, last not least, stood Grindoff there,
Disguised from treacherous heel to hair,
Suspicion thus to blind off.

In Miller’s coat, and beaver grey,

GRINDOFF REVISITED.

Though from beneath that mild array
Peeped forth the boots which seemed to say
“ Pistols and Plunder, are the lay
Of the abandoned Grindoff /”

Those sheets of scenes too! WTings and flies—
Cottage O.P. where Kelmar tries
To talk a dog’s leg (hind) off;

The boats to cross the lake with sacks—
Rowers with practicable backs—

The mill that works its sails, and clacks—
TIT interior—scene of Carl's attacks
On robbers, rats, and Grindoff!—

The wood where Riber and Golotz
Deal dagger-thrusts and pistol-shots,

And lead Lothair, made blind, off;—

The cavern underneath the mill,

Where bandits at their wicked will,

• Dance and carouse and sleep and swill.
While brave Lothair, with simple skill.

Gulls stern, but shallow Grindoff!

Once more, Lothair prepares the train ;

Once more with crime and jealous paiu
Ravina!s beauty’s pined off;—

Once more, dark Riber's midnight crime
Is stopped by Carl, in nick of time ;—

Once more, the hill the soldiers climb,—
Once more the Mill blows up sublime,

Over the corpse of Grindoff !

Oh blissful past! Oh happy day !

When thoughts of evening’s coming play
I breakfasted and dined off:

Characters cut and marshalled fair,—
Scenery and machinery square,—

The dialogue got up with care,—

The squibs to blow the Mill in air,

After the fall of Grindoff!

Yes, I will be a boy again;

And with “THE MILLER AND HIS
MEN”

These forty years of mine doff;

The drama that so charmed the boy
Will charm e’en manhood’s dull annoy.

And, though the gold have some alloy,

A golden hour I’ll still enjoy,

With my old favourite Grindoff!
*****
*****

Ah me! It was an idle whim.

Life’s coarse-grained crucible why skim
Kind memory’s gold refined off!

Sink from small-caps my sanguine pen—

I’ve seen The Miller and his Men;

But no old glory gilds again,

The mill or cottage, wood, or glen—

Still less their tenant Grindoff!

Kelmar still pumps! still rants Lothair—
Claudine her beautiful back-hair
The ribbons still doth bind off.

Still Carl has his familiar jest;

Still Fribourg sinks with sleep opprest;
Still Riber's stabbed, blown up the rest
Of the vile gang of Grindoff!

But Grindoff of dear Fairbairn’s page!
The hero of my tiny stage,

With face so grimly lined off!

In vain, in vain, I looked for him—

The belt with pistols garnished grim ;
And copper buttons round the rim,

The yellow boots and buckle trim.

That glorified my Grindoff!

THE GRINDOFF OF THESE DEGENERATE DAYS.

So with them all, degenerate set!

I charge ye, one and all, go get
Costumes so ill-designed off!

Was ne’er a bandit there that wore
The jacket with its tabs of yore ;

'Lhe belt with buckle huge before,

The boots with ochre yellowed o’er.

That fit the band of Grindoff!

Alas, that e’er I dared the shock,

Of Fancy’s bark on Fact’s hard rock—
Took memory’s eyes the blind off—
How shall I win ye back again,

My “ Twopence coloured, penny plain ? ”
Who stabbed and shot, slew or were slain.
Or him who ruled your ruffian train.

My boyhood’s awful Grindoff !

HOHENZOLLERN’S PRAIER.

[To Ills Majesty the King of Prussia.)

Sire,

Your Majesty concludes his Royal reply to an address, pre-
sented to him by the municipality of Berlin on the occasion of his
birthday, with the following most patriotic, virtuous, and religious
aspiration:—

“ May I succeed in keeping the storm which threatens Europe far from our
country, in order that we may undisturbedly promote our internal development,
and devote all our powers thereto. May the Lord grant us His blessing and His
assistance for this purpose.”

May your Majesty sincerely strive to do that which he breathes so
fervent a hope lo succeed in doing. May your Majesty accordingly
forthwith abandon the aggression which he is attempting on the
dominions of his neighbour the King of Denmark, and relinquish
his design of plundering that sovereign of Schleswig and Holstein.
For if your Majesty perseveres in that scheme of spoliation the con-

sequence will very probably be a European war, in which I shall
be obliged to take part against your Majesty. I shall be very
sorry to fight the father-in-law of my Princess; but international
justice must be maintained. It will never do for me to let Prance
alone go to the rescue of Denmark, thrash your Majesty at another
Auerstadt, annex the left bank of the. Rhine—and perhaps abolish the
Prussian Monarchy. May your Majesty, therefore, succeed in pre-
venting the invasion of his kingdom by devoting bis whole energies to
minding his own business ; and may the assistance your Majesty
invokes be vouchsafed your Majesty to accomplish that laudable
endeavour.

I am. Sire, your Majesty’s most Gracious Sister-in-law’s most
obedient and faithful subject and servant,

P.S. Your Majesty’s professed intentions are excellent. May your
Majesty never tread the pavement which is formed of those materials,
May it, then, please your Majesty to desist from coveting and desirmv
his neighbour’s provinces, and not to break the peace.