DOI Heft:
March 23, 1861
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0125
March 23, 1862.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
March 11, Monday. Lord Clanricarde wished to know a good
deal about. Indian affairs, but the Government declined to oblige him.
Mr. Punch fears that we shall soon hear a little more about Indian
affairs than is pleasant, and perhaps the Government think that suffi-
cient for the day is the weevil thereof, as the sailors say knocking their
biscuits. The Chancellor obtained a Committee to consider who are
really entitled to come before Sir Cresswell Cresswell, about
which there is much doubt., Sir Cresswell, for instance, having in-
continently walked the Yelvertons out of his court, declaring that he
had nothing to say to them. This was unlucky, as we might have had all
that remarkable trial performed at Westminster, and Mr. Edwin
James might have received the cheers with which the House of Com-
mons greeted the victorious Whiteside on his resuming his seat.
Lore Derby sticks to his text about the houses of the working
classes, and insisted on its being made an instruction to the Lords’
Bailway Committee to report how many people any new scheme would
turn out of house and home, and whether provision ought not to be
made for the accommodation of the expelled.
To night Lord Clarence Paget brought in the ISfavy Estimates.
Mr. Punch begs to put. the matter uncommonly short. If Britannia
wants to lule the waves, she must pay for the honour. The Balance
Sheet of Balance of Power stands thus :—
THEM FOREIGNERS.
France has . 267 vessels afloat.
,, Cl building.
And an army of 000,000 soldiers.
And isseizingcn
every position
which, in war,
will aid her to
smash our
commerce.
Russia has
Sfain has
Italy has
9 line of battle ships.
17 frigates.
2 line of battle ships.
12 frigates.
1 line of battle ship.
IS frigates.
MRS.
England has .
BRITANNIA.
. . 505 vesse’s afloat.
. . 07 building.
146.044 soldiers.
And an army of .
(Without counting
those in India,
■who would swe'l
the number to
212,773 )
And as France has about five times the
military force, and is doing everything to
bring up her naval force to ours, and as
all the other powers may join against us,
Mrs. Britannia must make up her mind
to spend her money.
The above lucid statement shows the entire case at a glance. There
was a debate, of course, and on Thursday, when Mr. T. G. Baring
brought on the Army Estimates, there was another debate. The
money wanted for the Navy was £12,029,475, being a decrease of
£800,000 from last year’s estimate; and the money wanted for the
Army was £14,606,751, being a decrease of £185,000 from last year’s
estimate. The state of Army and Navy was explained to be highly
satisfactory; Mr. Bright abused the House and the Ministers, and
the Services: and Lord Palmerston declared, point blank, that
Trance’s policy had for some time been to increase her strength, so as
to be a match for us, and the only way to keep peace with her was n>
make ourselves as strong as possible. Well, if Pam says this about
his friend the Emperor, we must accept, the situation, and the better
educated among us must comfort ourselves by quoting Latin about si
vis pacetn—which, Wiscount, does not mean a Peaceful Citizen, though
that is a very good shot for you.
Tuesday. Mr. Tom Buncombe moved a little resolution to the effect
that we ought, to have a Kelorm Bill. Him and bis clap-tran did Sir
George Lewis demolish ; and Mr. Bright, the type of the Unrefined
lladical, having somewhat curtly explained to Mr. Tom, the type of
the Befmed lladical, that the proposition was perfectly useless, Mr.
Buncombe withdrew the motion. Next did Sir George put down
Mr. Slangy, who wanted a Committee to consider how to improve
the dwellings of the working classes. Then did Mr. Gibson squash
Mr. Bentinck, who wants the Government to interfere for the pre-
vention of railway accidents. Fourthly, did Lord John Bussell set
upon Colonel Sikes, who had grievances about the Chinese War. Lobd
Palmerston obliterated Sir James Elphinstone, absorbing that party’s
little Navy Promotion Committee into the big Admiralty Committee, and
there was a smart debate upon the names ot Members to be appointed
on the latter. The Government were quite victorious to-night.
Mr. Lygon brought, in a Bill for the Voluntary Disgavelling of
lands. The Wiscount, hearing the announcement, very naturally
asked, v.hy a person couldn’t take gravel off his lands without an Act
of Parliament, but it was courteously explained to him that the word
was not dis-gravelling, but dis-gavelliug, and that, Gavelkind was a
tenure of ADgio-Saxon origin, and that, lands so held by a man who dies
without a will go to all the sons equally, and if there are, luckily, no
bothering boys, to all the girls. He was further told that all lands
in Kent are*“ presumed” to be of this tenure until the contrary is
proved, and that disgavelling means the arranging that the lands shall
descend according to the ordinary rule of law. The Wiscount was
delighted at this acquisition of legal lore, whereupon his instructor
was foolish enough to confuse his mind by telling him ail about
A BLOW EBOM ACBOSS THE
WATEB.
EMPHATIC
Boy (to Nurse). “ What
Nurse. “ ’Ark at you,
at Maida ’ILL ’! ”
DID you say
Halfred ! I
MADE HER ILL f
didn’t say, ‘made
’er HILL ’; I said, ‘ she lived
All Souls’ Saved.
The judgment pronounced on behalf of
the Archbishob of Canterbury in the case
of All Souls’ College, Oxford, will oblige the
Warden and Senior Fellows of that, seat of
learning to elect candidates for its fellowships
in future, on the simple grounds of their intel-
lectual distinction and moral fitness, instead
of choosing them principally on account of
their aristocratic connections and bearing.
In short, tiie effect of this decision, if it is
not evaded, wilt be to prevent the gentlemen
in Question from converting All Souls’ into
Ail Swells’.
In the speech that, Abe Lincoln made at
Washington from the balcony of Pillard’s
Hotel (we call it, Pillard, for we had our
portmanteau broken open there, and innu-
i merable sovereigns extracted therefrom), he
told the multitude that, the Government did
not “ intend to split hairs to deprive them of
their rights.” Was this allusion to “splitting
hairs” a sarcastic blow aimed at Gladstone,
who has a kind of copyright in that par-
ticular way of dividing bis arguments F We
should say that “split,ting rails” was much
more in Abraham’s line. Judge Douglas
says that Lincoln is so clever at that kind
of handiwork, that it was he who first intro-
duced the split into the Union. Of course,
this isn’t, true, and Judge Douglas knows it
isn’t true; but it only proves how far the
malevolence cf partisanship will carry some
people.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
March 11, Monday. Lord Clanricarde wished to know a good
deal about. Indian affairs, but the Government declined to oblige him.
Mr. Punch fears that we shall soon hear a little more about Indian
affairs than is pleasant, and perhaps the Government think that suffi-
cient for the day is the weevil thereof, as the sailors say knocking their
biscuits. The Chancellor obtained a Committee to consider who are
really entitled to come before Sir Cresswell Cresswell, about
which there is much doubt., Sir Cresswell, for instance, having in-
continently walked the Yelvertons out of his court, declaring that he
had nothing to say to them. This was unlucky, as we might have had all
that remarkable trial performed at Westminster, and Mr. Edwin
James might have received the cheers with which the House of Com-
mons greeted the victorious Whiteside on his resuming his seat.
Lore Derby sticks to his text about the houses of the working
classes, and insisted on its being made an instruction to the Lords’
Bailway Committee to report how many people any new scheme would
turn out of house and home, and whether provision ought not to be
made for the accommodation of the expelled.
To night Lord Clarence Paget brought in the ISfavy Estimates.
Mr. Punch begs to put. the matter uncommonly short. If Britannia
wants to lule the waves, she must pay for the honour. The Balance
Sheet of Balance of Power stands thus :—
THEM FOREIGNERS.
France has . 267 vessels afloat.
,, Cl building.
And an army of 000,000 soldiers.
And isseizingcn
every position
which, in war,
will aid her to
smash our
commerce.
Russia has
Sfain has
Italy has
9 line of battle ships.
17 frigates.
2 line of battle ships.
12 frigates.
1 line of battle ship.
IS frigates.
MRS.
England has .
BRITANNIA.
. . 505 vesse’s afloat.
. . 07 building.
146.044 soldiers.
And an army of .
(Without counting
those in India,
■who would swe'l
the number to
212,773 )
And as France has about five times the
military force, and is doing everything to
bring up her naval force to ours, and as
all the other powers may join against us,
Mrs. Britannia must make up her mind
to spend her money.
The above lucid statement shows the entire case at a glance. There
was a debate, of course, and on Thursday, when Mr. T. G. Baring
brought on the Army Estimates, there was another debate. The
money wanted for the Navy was £12,029,475, being a decrease of
£800,000 from last year’s estimate; and the money wanted for the
Army was £14,606,751, being a decrease of £185,000 from last year’s
estimate. The state of Army and Navy was explained to be highly
satisfactory; Mr. Bright abused the House and the Ministers, and
the Services: and Lord Palmerston declared, point blank, that
Trance’s policy had for some time been to increase her strength, so as
to be a match for us, and the only way to keep peace with her was n>
make ourselves as strong as possible. Well, if Pam says this about
his friend the Emperor, we must accept, the situation, and the better
educated among us must comfort ourselves by quoting Latin about si
vis pacetn—which, Wiscount, does not mean a Peaceful Citizen, though
that is a very good shot for you.
Tuesday. Mr. Tom Buncombe moved a little resolution to the effect
that we ought, to have a Kelorm Bill. Him and bis clap-tran did Sir
George Lewis demolish ; and Mr. Bright, the type of the Unrefined
lladical, having somewhat curtly explained to Mr. Tom, the type of
the Befmed lladical, that the proposition was perfectly useless, Mr.
Buncombe withdrew the motion. Next did Sir George put down
Mr. Slangy, who wanted a Committee to consider how to improve
the dwellings of the working classes. Then did Mr. Gibson squash
Mr. Bentinck, who wants the Government to interfere for the pre-
vention of railway accidents. Fourthly, did Lord John Bussell set
upon Colonel Sikes, who had grievances about the Chinese War. Lobd
Palmerston obliterated Sir James Elphinstone, absorbing that party’s
little Navy Promotion Committee into the big Admiralty Committee, and
there was a smart debate upon the names ot Members to be appointed
on the latter. The Government were quite victorious to-night.
Mr. Lygon brought, in a Bill for the Voluntary Disgavelling of
lands. The Wiscount, hearing the announcement, very naturally
asked, v.hy a person couldn’t take gravel off his lands without an Act
of Parliament, but it was courteously explained to him that the word
was not dis-gravelling, but dis-gavelliug, and that, Gavelkind was a
tenure of ADgio-Saxon origin, and that, lands so held by a man who dies
without a will go to all the sons equally, and if there are, luckily, no
bothering boys, to all the girls. He was further told that all lands
in Kent are*“ presumed” to be of this tenure until the contrary is
proved, and that disgavelling means the arranging that the lands shall
descend according to the ordinary rule of law. The Wiscount was
delighted at this acquisition of legal lore, whereupon his instructor
was foolish enough to confuse his mind by telling him ail about
A BLOW EBOM ACBOSS THE
WATEB.
EMPHATIC
Boy (to Nurse). “ What
Nurse. “ ’Ark at you,
at Maida ’ILL ’! ”
DID you say
Halfred ! I
MADE HER ILL f
didn’t say, ‘made
’er HILL ’; I said, ‘ she lived
All Souls’ Saved.
The judgment pronounced on behalf of
the Archbishob of Canterbury in the case
of All Souls’ College, Oxford, will oblige the
Warden and Senior Fellows of that, seat of
learning to elect candidates for its fellowships
in future, on the simple grounds of their intel-
lectual distinction and moral fitness, instead
of choosing them principally on account of
their aristocratic connections and bearing.
In short, tiie effect of this decision, if it is
not evaded, wilt be to prevent the gentlemen
in Question from converting All Souls’ into
Ail Swells’.
In the speech that, Abe Lincoln made at
Washington from the balcony of Pillard’s
Hotel (we call it, Pillard, for we had our
portmanteau broken open there, and innu-
i merable sovereigns extracted therefrom), he
told the multitude that, the Government did
not “ intend to split hairs to deprive them of
their rights.” Was this allusion to “splitting
hairs” a sarcastic blow aimed at Gladstone,
who has a kind of copyright in that par-
ticular way of dividing bis arguments F We
should say that “split,ting rails” was much
more in Abraham’s line. Judge Douglas
says that Lincoln is so clever at that kind
of handiwork, that it was he who first intro-
duced the split into the Union. Of course,
this isn’t, true, and Judge Douglas knows it
isn’t true; but it only proves how far the
malevolence cf partisanship will carry some
people.