DOI Heft:
April 27, 1861
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0177
Apbil 27, 1861.]
169
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI,
APPENDIX TO THE AMERICAN ANTHEM.
Tune—Obvious.
We’ve got into a pretty fix.
My countrymen, by Jingo!
Through our confounded politics ;
Spain’s down on St. Domingo !
She takes this turn in our affairs,
This crisis grave and weighty,
To gain her ends, and unawares
Goes in to win all Hayti!
Oh, what a change comes o’er our dream !
Our once united nation
The other day proposed the scheme
Of Cuba’s annexation;
And now you have the hand of Spain
Stretched forth to take possession,
Were that isle ours, could we restrain
The Spaniards from aggression ?
Come let us discord slick forego,
And difficulties banish,
Or else we shall be, no ways slow,
Chawed up by them there Spanish.
The Munro doctrine, dirt and all.
We shall be forced to swallow,
And if we do to pieces fall.
The Dons will lick us hollow.
Would North and South conjoin again
By pressing facts invited,
The now dissevered States would then,
Becoming reunited;
A mighty people recompose,
Once more to flog creation,
Instead of stooping to her foes.
And suffering flagellation.
“ Over, Fork Over.”
THE PAPER COLLAR-USEFUL AND ORNAMENTAL.
Clara (reads). “Excuse, Dearest, the Paper upon which I write—I have
not my Desk with me, so I send you these eew hurried Lines on one of
my Collars."
The Times remarks that marriage is “a very highly
pitched relation.” Young Snobkins, who was in love
with his cousin Euphemia, says that he was also a very
highly pitched relation when he proposed marriage, for
his indignant uncle threw him bang over the garden wall.
SURGERY FOR THE MIDDLE CLASSES.
Suppose you are troubled with a cataract, that is to say, not with a
waterfall in your neighbourhood, but with an obstruction in your eye.
You may have this nuisance abated by a surgical operation. This, if
you are a labouring man, you caD, by procuring a letter of recom-
mendation to a hospital, get done for thanks. If you are a peer of the
realm, or a banker, or a railway director, or a great, builder, or a
prince, or a bishop, you will have the best operator in London to couch
your cataract; that is, to destroy or pick out the diseased part of your
eye, namely, the crystalline lens turned white and opaque. Eor
rendering yon that important service, you will present your surgeon
with a cheque for two or three thousand pounds, to encourage science,
and to reward him for giving professional assistance to the poor. But
if you are a respectable tradesman, or an attorney, or a barrister as yet
only rising, or a parson of moderate preferment, then you will pay the
professor who enucleates your crystalline capsule the average market
price for. the job, which may be put at about £50. Now this is what
the inferior members of the equestrian order call a high pike, and the
vulgar in general denominate a heavy fork-out; in short, it is a great
deal of money for a man with a small income, and perhaps a large
family, to part with, even for a consideration so valuable as that of the
restoration of his sight. How is his sight restored by the extraction
of a part of his eye ? Because that part of his eye is merely a little
microscope, and its place may be supplied with proper spectacles. He
has, therefere, something to show for his fee, and something worth
that fee, however large. But the regular fee may be more than he can
afford.
What a convenience, then, it would be for any gentleman who wants
to have his cataract expunged, or his leg cut off, or his fracture set, or
his dislocation reduced, or his artery taken up and tied for haemorrhage
or for aneurism, or his jaw-bone removed, or his skull trepanned,
or a large concretion extracted from his int erior, or a huge excrescence
abscinded from his outside, if there existed an institution of the nature
of a benefit club in as far as it regarded surgical attendance, so that
any member thereof might, by the payment of a small annual sub-
scription, be enabled to lose his own limb, if necessary, or have it
mended, if possible, or get any other bodily repairs that he may want
to have done, skilfully executed, under circumstances as favourable as
those which surround a man in an infirmary!
No such resource for gentlemen does apparently exist, but an
accommodation of the kind has been provided for ladies. It is named
the “London Surgical Home.” Its second anniversary festival was
held the other evening. Its object is that of affording surgical assis-
tance in curable cases, to gentlewomen who can afford to pay some-
thing towards their own support; and, as its name implies, it houses
them as well; which is a great advantage; for yon cannot always com-
mand at home, the water-bed3 and other machinery requisite for the
comfortable treatment, for example, of broken bones. Neither can
you get, on reasonable terms, any better nurses than stupid old women.
In the Ladies’ London Surgical Home, during the last 11 months, 83
patients nave been received, 57 of them cured, and 11 relieved; the
rest are under treatment all but one, and that one only had exchanged
the Surgical Home for the long one. Hence you will perceive that it
is a bonudde concern, as will further appear from the fact that, whilst
the annual subscriptions promised for the year amount to £193 105.,
the patients’ own payments during the year are calculated at £671.
The current annual expenses are £1,367 105., to meet which, of course
the managing committee want £500; which they ought to get, because
the money will be given in aid of one of the most useful and laudable
of all institutions going.
The London Surgical Home was founded by Mr. Baker Brown, a
philanthropist whom poor surgeons may thank as well as poor gentle-
women wanting surgical assistance. Should Surgical Homes be mul-
tiplied, and extended so as to include male patients, they will afford
employment to many young surgical practitioners who are as well up
to their work as anybody in the Council of the College, and would be
glad to contract with those excellent establishments to do any quantity
of mending that may be required by the frames of their inmates and
subscribers, on moderate terms.
<1—2
Vol. 40.
169
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI,
APPENDIX TO THE AMERICAN ANTHEM.
Tune—Obvious.
We’ve got into a pretty fix.
My countrymen, by Jingo!
Through our confounded politics ;
Spain’s down on St. Domingo !
She takes this turn in our affairs,
This crisis grave and weighty,
To gain her ends, and unawares
Goes in to win all Hayti!
Oh, what a change comes o’er our dream !
Our once united nation
The other day proposed the scheme
Of Cuba’s annexation;
And now you have the hand of Spain
Stretched forth to take possession,
Were that isle ours, could we restrain
The Spaniards from aggression ?
Come let us discord slick forego,
And difficulties banish,
Or else we shall be, no ways slow,
Chawed up by them there Spanish.
The Munro doctrine, dirt and all.
We shall be forced to swallow,
And if we do to pieces fall.
The Dons will lick us hollow.
Would North and South conjoin again
By pressing facts invited,
The now dissevered States would then,
Becoming reunited;
A mighty people recompose,
Once more to flog creation,
Instead of stooping to her foes.
And suffering flagellation.
“ Over, Fork Over.”
THE PAPER COLLAR-USEFUL AND ORNAMENTAL.
Clara (reads). “Excuse, Dearest, the Paper upon which I write—I have
not my Desk with me, so I send you these eew hurried Lines on one of
my Collars."
The Times remarks that marriage is “a very highly
pitched relation.” Young Snobkins, who was in love
with his cousin Euphemia, says that he was also a very
highly pitched relation when he proposed marriage, for
his indignant uncle threw him bang over the garden wall.
SURGERY FOR THE MIDDLE CLASSES.
Suppose you are troubled with a cataract, that is to say, not with a
waterfall in your neighbourhood, but with an obstruction in your eye.
You may have this nuisance abated by a surgical operation. This, if
you are a labouring man, you caD, by procuring a letter of recom-
mendation to a hospital, get done for thanks. If you are a peer of the
realm, or a banker, or a railway director, or a great, builder, or a
prince, or a bishop, you will have the best operator in London to couch
your cataract; that is, to destroy or pick out the diseased part of your
eye, namely, the crystalline lens turned white and opaque. Eor
rendering yon that important service, you will present your surgeon
with a cheque for two or three thousand pounds, to encourage science,
and to reward him for giving professional assistance to the poor. But
if you are a respectable tradesman, or an attorney, or a barrister as yet
only rising, or a parson of moderate preferment, then you will pay the
professor who enucleates your crystalline capsule the average market
price for. the job, which may be put at about £50. Now this is what
the inferior members of the equestrian order call a high pike, and the
vulgar in general denominate a heavy fork-out; in short, it is a great
deal of money for a man with a small income, and perhaps a large
family, to part with, even for a consideration so valuable as that of the
restoration of his sight. How is his sight restored by the extraction
of a part of his eye ? Because that part of his eye is merely a little
microscope, and its place may be supplied with proper spectacles. He
has, therefere, something to show for his fee, and something worth
that fee, however large. But the regular fee may be more than he can
afford.
What a convenience, then, it would be for any gentleman who wants
to have his cataract expunged, or his leg cut off, or his fracture set, or
his dislocation reduced, or his artery taken up and tied for haemorrhage
or for aneurism, or his jaw-bone removed, or his skull trepanned,
or a large concretion extracted from his int erior, or a huge excrescence
abscinded from his outside, if there existed an institution of the nature
of a benefit club in as far as it regarded surgical attendance, so that
any member thereof might, by the payment of a small annual sub-
scription, be enabled to lose his own limb, if necessary, or have it
mended, if possible, or get any other bodily repairs that he may want
to have done, skilfully executed, under circumstances as favourable as
those which surround a man in an infirmary!
No such resource for gentlemen does apparently exist, but an
accommodation of the kind has been provided for ladies. It is named
the “London Surgical Home.” Its second anniversary festival was
held the other evening. Its object is that of affording surgical assis-
tance in curable cases, to gentlewomen who can afford to pay some-
thing towards their own support; and, as its name implies, it houses
them as well; which is a great advantage; for yon cannot always com-
mand at home, the water-bed3 and other machinery requisite for the
comfortable treatment, for example, of broken bones. Neither can
you get, on reasonable terms, any better nurses than stupid old women.
In the Ladies’ London Surgical Home, during the last 11 months, 83
patients nave been received, 57 of them cured, and 11 relieved; the
rest are under treatment all but one, and that one only had exchanged
the Surgical Home for the long one. Hence you will perceive that it
is a bonudde concern, as will further appear from the fact that, whilst
the annual subscriptions promised for the year amount to £193 105.,
the patients’ own payments during the year are calculated at £671.
The current annual expenses are £1,367 105., to meet which, of course
the managing committee want £500; which they ought to get, because
the money will be given in aid of one of the most useful and laudable
of all institutions going.
The London Surgical Home was founded by Mr. Baker Brown, a
philanthropist whom poor surgeons may thank as well as poor gentle-
women wanting surgical assistance. Should Surgical Homes be mul-
tiplied, and extended so as to include male patients, they will afford
employment to many young surgical practitioners who are as well up
to their work as anybody in the Council of the College, and would be
glad to contract with those excellent establishments to do any quantity
of mending that may be required by the frames of their inmates and
subscribers, on moderate terms.
<1—2
Vol. 40.