DOI issue:
April 20, 1861
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0176
I
168
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [April 20, 1861.
ii
SEVERE.”
Dainty Old Gent. “ Have 1 liked my Dinner?—No, I've not! So don't give what I've left to the Cat,
Sir ; because as she's sure to become pic, I should like her to die a natural death, and not be poisoned."
I A HOPEFUL CHARACTER.
For a parent whose paternal
heart has been so severely apd
repeatedly lacerated as that of Pxo
Nono, by his own account, the
Holy Father bears up wonderfully.
The foreign correspondent of a con-
temporary, quoting some remarks
lately made by his Holiness,
says :—
“ In the first place I learn that the
Pope says he can reckon on the protective
office of the French army for at least six
months more, and ‘ who knows,’ ex-
claimed his Holiness, ‘ what may occur
in six months?’ ”
The Successor of St. Peter may
or may not succeed, or endeavour
to succeed, in following St. Peter’s
example, but he is evidently a very
good imitator, whether conscious
or unconscious, of another and a
more modern character, who has
acquired universal celebrity from
a habit which he had of continually
expressing, under the most adverse
circumstances, the hope that some-
thing would turn up. The Pope
in the words above quoted exhibits
the sanguine temperament, and
almost, adopts the phraseology, of
Mr. Micaicber.
“ MOST MUSLCAL, MOST
MELANCHOLY ! ”
A Distinguished Ethiopian
being asked, how he enjoyed the
music of the Amber Witch, replied,
“ O Golly, Massa Smith, dat
Amber Witch am ber-witching!”
THE RIGHT AND LEFT OF A RULE.
At the inauguration of the Pelly Memorial School, at West Ham,
Essex, the other day, Earl Granville, who presided on the occasion,
is reported, in apologising for an extemporaneous speech, to have
said:—
“ However, one of the disadvantages which accrues to me from having hardly
expected that I could attend—for 1 thought there would be a meeting of my
colleagues to-day—is this, that I acted on a maxim on which I hope none of my
young friends around me will ever act, of not doing to-day that which I thought
could be done to-morrow.”
Lord Granville does himself injustice in decrying the maxim on
which he acted. It is a very good maxim; just as good as the con-
trary, which is inculcated in the copy-books:—“ Never defer till to-
morrow that which yon can do to-day.” There is wisdom in this
precept; but equally wise is the reverse of it, which Earl Granville
acted on, “ Never do that to-day which you can defer till to-morrow.”
Wisdom is a Janus with two faces, which correspond to the two sides
of every question.. Promptitude is wise, but deliberation is equally
wise; procrastination is foolish, but precipitation is equally foolish.
Proverbial philosophy, unless when propounded by a Tupper, is
sometimes too Laconic; as in the case of the copy-book canon above
cited; which requires a little enlargement to be made absolute. To
admonish dilatory youth with perfect accuracy, we should say, “Never
defer that till to-morrow which you had better do to-day,” and, to
school onr rash young friends, “ Never do that to-day which you will
just as well be able to do to-morrow.” A wise saw is double-edged,
and some people are not to be trusted to handle it, because they are
apt to scratch themselves with one edge or the other.
advice to fundholders.
The Income-Tax has expired. Run and get your April dividends
before it revives.
High Treason.—Asking King Thwaites to “ stand a drain.”
“Songs Without Words.”—The songs the Tea-kettle sings.
HELPING AN OLD ERIEND.
We read in the Paris correspondence of the Times that—
“The steel-plated frigate Invincible was launched at Toulon on Thursday last in
presence of an immense crowd, who arrived from various parts of the department
of the Var to witness the sight.”
New frigates, fresh launches everyday,troops collected in thousands
at the ports ready to sail at a moment’s notice, and the dockyards kept
in the greatest activity! Of course it all means Peace—but from the
above prognostications, if we were our friend Wiscount Villiams,
we should feel strongly tempted to pronounce the above Department
of the Yar to be the real War Department of France.
How will you Have it ?
In a recent bankruptcy case Mr. Commissioner Fane enunciated
t lie startling doctrine that “ Bankers ought to ask questions in plain
English.” What bosh! Does this judicial euphuist imagine that the
hanking world is going to submit to any such tyranny f Perhaps he
t hinks that when one presents a cheque, a banker’s clerk is to say—
“ In what notes or coins, Sir, do you wish to receive the amount here
specified.” Does he suppose that such an effeminate form of words is
to supersede the accustomed “ Owlyamt ?” Nothing of that sort,
Mr. Commissioner.
c’est la meme chose.
Among the various columns in the Census returns, filled up on the
7th instant, was one requiring each person to specify whether he was
“married” or “unmarried,” and another in which all “blind” persons
were enumerated. The latter column appeared somewhat superfluous,
for to get at the number of the blind, it was surely only necessary to
add up the lists of the married ?—so at least says a Correspondent,
signing himself “A Wide-awake Bachelor.”
How to Enjoy the “ Rus in Urbe.”—Go and see the Uamlet in
Oxford Street.
168
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [April 20, 1861.
ii
SEVERE.”
Dainty Old Gent. “ Have 1 liked my Dinner?—No, I've not! So don't give what I've left to the Cat,
Sir ; because as she's sure to become pic, I should like her to die a natural death, and not be poisoned."
I A HOPEFUL CHARACTER.
For a parent whose paternal
heart has been so severely apd
repeatedly lacerated as that of Pxo
Nono, by his own account, the
Holy Father bears up wonderfully.
The foreign correspondent of a con-
temporary, quoting some remarks
lately made by his Holiness,
says :—
“ In the first place I learn that the
Pope says he can reckon on the protective
office of the French army for at least six
months more, and ‘ who knows,’ ex-
claimed his Holiness, ‘ what may occur
in six months?’ ”
The Successor of St. Peter may
or may not succeed, or endeavour
to succeed, in following St. Peter’s
example, but he is evidently a very
good imitator, whether conscious
or unconscious, of another and a
more modern character, who has
acquired universal celebrity from
a habit which he had of continually
expressing, under the most adverse
circumstances, the hope that some-
thing would turn up. The Pope
in the words above quoted exhibits
the sanguine temperament, and
almost, adopts the phraseology, of
Mr. Micaicber.
“ MOST MUSLCAL, MOST
MELANCHOLY ! ”
A Distinguished Ethiopian
being asked, how he enjoyed the
music of the Amber Witch, replied,
“ O Golly, Massa Smith, dat
Amber Witch am ber-witching!”
THE RIGHT AND LEFT OF A RULE.
At the inauguration of the Pelly Memorial School, at West Ham,
Essex, the other day, Earl Granville, who presided on the occasion,
is reported, in apologising for an extemporaneous speech, to have
said:—
“ However, one of the disadvantages which accrues to me from having hardly
expected that I could attend—for 1 thought there would be a meeting of my
colleagues to-day—is this, that I acted on a maxim on which I hope none of my
young friends around me will ever act, of not doing to-day that which I thought
could be done to-morrow.”
Lord Granville does himself injustice in decrying the maxim on
which he acted. It is a very good maxim; just as good as the con-
trary, which is inculcated in the copy-books:—“ Never defer till to-
morrow that which yon can do to-day.” There is wisdom in this
precept; but equally wise is the reverse of it, which Earl Granville
acted on, “ Never do that to-day which you can defer till to-morrow.”
Wisdom is a Janus with two faces, which correspond to the two sides
of every question.. Promptitude is wise, but deliberation is equally
wise; procrastination is foolish, but precipitation is equally foolish.
Proverbial philosophy, unless when propounded by a Tupper, is
sometimes too Laconic; as in the case of the copy-book canon above
cited; which requires a little enlargement to be made absolute. To
admonish dilatory youth with perfect accuracy, we should say, “Never
defer that till to-morrow which you had better do to-day,” and, to
school onr rash young friends, “ Never do that to-day which you will
just as well be able to do to-morrow.” A wise saw is double-edged,
and some people are not to be trusted to handle it, because they are
apt to scratch themselves with one edge or the other.
advice to fundholders.
The Income-Tax has expired. Run and get your April dividends
before it revives.
High Treason.—Asking King Thwaites to “ stand a drain.”
“Songs Without Words.”—The songs the Tea-kettle sings.
HELPING AN OLD ERIEND.
We read in the Paris correspondence of the Times that—
“The steel-plated frigate Invincible was launched at Toulon on Thursday last in
presence of an immense crowd, who arrived from various parts of the department
of the Var to witness the sight.”
New frigates, fresh launches everyday,troops collected in thousands
at the ports ready to sail at a moment’s notice, and the dockyards kept
in the greatest activity! Of course it all means Peace—but from the
above prognostications, if we were our friend Wiscount Villiams,
we should feel strongly tempted to pronounce the above Department
of the Yar to be the real War Department of France.
How will you Have it ?
In a recent bankruptcy case Mr. Commissioner Fane enunciated
t lie startling doctrine that “ Bankers ought to ask questions in plain
English.” What bosh! Does this judicial euphuist imagine that the
hanking world is going to submit to any such tyranny f Perhaps he
t hinks that when one presents a cheque, a banker’s clerk is to say—
“ In what notes or coins, Sir, do you wish to receive the amount here
specified.” Does he suppose that such an effeminate form of words is
to supersede the accustomed “ Owlyamt ?” Nothing of that sort,
Mr. Commissioner.
c’est la meme chose.
Among the various columns in the Census returns, filled up on the
7th instant, was one requiring each person to specify whether he was
“married” or “unmarried,” and another in which all “blind” persons
were enumerated. The latter column appeared somewhat superfluous,
for to get at the number of the blind, it was surely only necessary to
add up the lists of the married ?—so at least says a Correspondent,
signing himself “A Wide-awake Bachelor.”
How to Enjoy the “ Rus in Urbe.”—Go and see the Uamlet in
Oxford Street.