DOI issue:
May 11, 1861
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0197
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Monday, April 29. Loud Malmesbury wished to know whether
Government were trying to compose the differences in America. Lord
Wodehouse replied that Government beheld those differences with
great concern, but thought that it was not for us to obtrude uninvited
counsel. Independently of graver considerations, Mr. Punch cannot
help feeling strong compassion for his esteemed friend, Abraham
Lincoln, who has just got into his new White House, and might be
so comfortable, but for the Blacks coming down the chimney. It must
be a bore, too, for Her Majesty Mrs. Lincoln, who naturally looked
forward to a pleasant reign. But if all be true that Mr. Punch hears,
that, lady is eminently qualified to be her Lord’s companion and consoler
in his difficulties, and though, according to the English proverb, a
smoky chimney and a scolding wife justify a man in removing himself
to some other planet, one may, in the company of a good wife, endure
worse things than a smoky chimney. So, on second thoughts, Mr.
President Punch withdraws his compassion from Mr. President
Lincoln, slaps that Wood-chopper on his sturdy back, and bids him
keep up his Pecker, and at his earliest convenience smash the Morrill
and immoral Tariff.
Get your Savings ready, for the Post Office Savings’ Bank Bill is
passed. Lord Monteagle, who thinks that he ought to speak upon
all money questions, because he was about one of the worst Chancellors
of Exchequer who ever blundered over the national accounts, opposed
the Bill to the last, and wrote a Protest against it, which Mr. Punch
did not insult himself by attempting to read, knowing Mons Aquila
of old, and not “ rejoicing therefore.”
A pleasant little scene took place in the House of Commons. Mr.
Hodgson (why of course not Kirkman Daniel, Wiscount, he sits
for Bridport doesn’t he? do shut up) had just been elected for Tyne-
mouth, and inasmuch as he had been reported guilty of bribery at the
last election for Berwick-upon-Tweed, he wanted to know whether
things were going to be made unpleasant for him. Sir Richard
Bethell answered, in the very frankest manner, that he believed the
honourable Hodgson had been guilty of bribery, but as a necessary
witness, one M'Gall, had absconded, he, Sir Richard, should show
the milk of human kindness instead of the (M‘)gall of legal bitterness,
and so Mr. Hodgson might vote in happiness.
Mr. Speaker, (who’d ceased to be sick, sick,)
Then gave Mr. Massey the chair, _
And the House took a spell at the chic, chic,
Chicory Budget so fair.
Mr. Horsman, he flourished his stick, stick,
And made the Queen’s Ministers stare,
And how he pitched into the chic, chic,
Chicory Budget so fair!
Mr. Bright gave them compliment, thick, thick.
And stood on his legs to declare
That he hugely approved of the chic, chic.
Chicory Budget so fair.
James Fergusson lent him a lick, lick,
(An Inkerman hero, from Ayr)
And made a good slash at the chic, chic.
Chicory Budget so fair.
Poet Punch, who takes only the pick, pick.
Of course has no laurel to spare
For every critique on the chic, chic,
Chicory Budget so fair.
But Gladstone stood up like a brick, brick
Gave Horsman a toss in the air;
And boldly defended the chic, chic,
Chicory Budget so fair.
Disraeli answered him quick, quick,
“ Tax Paper, but Tea shall not bear
War taxes: I ’ll fight on voux chic, chic,
Chicory Budget so fair.”
Then Palmerston rose at the nick, nick
Of time with his jaunty “Don’t care,
We all mean to stand by our chic, chic,
Chicory Budget so fair.”
CHARIVARI. 189
FASHIONABLE REVIVAL.
Come, let us wear three-cornered hats,
With gold or white lace bound;
Big wigs ; fine linen scarf cravats;
Long coats, with skirts wide round,
All faced with silk of various hues.
Or gilt or silver twist;
Long flowered waistcoats ; buckled shoes;
And ruffles at the wrist.
Ourselves ’tis meet we thus expose.
In order that the Swells,
Who answer to the ancient beaux,
May match the modern belles.
Hooped petticoats are worn again;
So now, by all the rules
Of gallantry, ought gentlemen
Once more to dress like fools.
A BLACK TENNYSON.
A Certain Mr. Close, who seems to rejoice in local
additions, as he calls himself at once the “Kirby Stephen
Poet and Poet-Laureate to the King oe Bonny, in
Western Africa,” has extracted £50 a year out of the
Civil Pension Fund. To work out such a sum is indeed
an achievement, and if the art that did it was acquired in
the Castle of the King oe Bonny, it may be said to
be the last and greatest triumph of Bonnycastle’s
Arithmetic.
When Mr. W. Stirling asked a question on this
pension, Bernal Osborne suggested that, as his Bonny
Majesty’s Laureate does not seem to have got any sack
from his Bonny Majesty, he ought certainly to have got
the sack from Lord Palmerston.
Rather a High Note.
The Critic of the Times, speaking of Mr. Sims Reeves
at the Crystal Palace, described him as the best singer
that had been heard in Haydn’s oratorio—in fact, as the
greatest man in Creation !
May 11. 1861.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON
A PAPAL BEADLE.
Monday, April 29. Loud Malmesbury wished to know whether
Government were trying to compose the differences in America. Lord
Wodehouse replied that Government beheld those differences with
great concern, but thought that it was not for us to obtrude uninvited
counsel. Independently of graver considerations, Mr. Punch cannot
help feeling strong compassion for his esteemed friend, Abraham
Lincoln, who has just got into his new White House, and might be
so comfortable, but for the Blacks coming down the chimney. It must
be a bore, too, for Her Majesty Mrs. Lincoln, who naturally looked
forward to a pleasant reign. But if all be true that Mr. Punch hears,
that, lady is eminently qualified to be her Lord’s companion and consoler
in his difficulties, and though, according to the English proverb, a
smoky chimney and a scolding wife justify a man in removing himself
to some other planet, one may, in the company of a good wife, endure
worse things than a smoky chimney. So, on second thoughts, Mr.
President Punch withdraws his compassion from Mr. President
Lincoln, slaps that Wood-chopper on his sturdy back, and bids him
keep up his Pecker, and at his earliest convenience smash the Morrill
and immoral Tariff.
Get your Savings ready, for the Post Office Savings’ Bank Bill is
passed. Lord Monteagle, who thinks that he ought to speak upon
all money questions, because he was about one of the worst Chancellors
of Exchequer who ever blundered over the national accounts, opposed
the Bill to the last, and wrote a Protest against it, which Mr. Punch
did not insult himself by attempting to read, knowing Mons Aquila
of old, and not “ rejoicing therefore.”
A pleasant little scene took place in the House of Commons. Mr.
Hodgson (why of course not Kirkman Daniel, Wiscount, he sits
for Bridport doesn’t he? do shut up) had just been elected for Tyne-
mouth, and inasmuch as he had been reported guilty of bribery at the
last election for Berwick-upon-Tweed, he wanted to know whether
things were going to be made unpleasant for him. Sir Richard
Bethell answered, in the very frankest manner, that he believed the
honourable Hodgson had been guilty of bribery, but as a necessary
witness, one M'Gall, had absconded, he, Sir Richard, should show
the milk of human kindness instead of the (M‘)gall of legal bitterness,
and so Mr. Hodgson might vote in happiness.
Mr. Speaker, (who’d ceased to be sick, sick,)
Then gave Mr. Massey the chair, _
And the House took a spell at the chic, chic,
Chicory Budget so fair.
Mr. Horsman, he flourished his stick, stick,
And made the Queen’s Ministers stare,
And how he pitched into the chic, chic,
Chicory Budget so fair!
Mr. Bright gave them compliment, thick, thick.
And stood on his legs to declare
That he hugely approved of the chic, chic.
Chicory Budget so fair.
James Fergusson lent him a lick, lick,
(An Inkerman hero, from Ayr)
And made a good slash at the chic, chic.
Chicory Budget so fair.
Poet Punch, who takes only the pick, pick.
Of course has no laurel to spare
For every critique on the chic, chic,
Chicory Budget so fair.
But Gladstone stood up like a brick, brick
Gave Horsman a toss in the air;
And boldly defended the chic, chic,
Chicory Budget so fair.
Disraeli answered him quick, quick,
“ Tax Paper, but Tea shall not bear
War taxes: I ’ll fight on voux chic, chic,
Chicory Budget so fair.”
Then Palmerston rose at the nick, nick
Of time with his jaunty “Don’t care,
We all mean to stand by our chic, chic,
Chicory Budget so fair.”
CHARIVARI. 189
FASHIONABLE REVIVAL.
Come, let us wear three-cornered hats,
With gold or white lace bound;
Big wigs ; fine linen scarf cravats;
Long coats, with skirts wide round,
All faced with silk of various hues.
Or gilt or silver twist;
Long flowered waistcoats ; buckled shoes;
And ruffles at the wrist.
Ourselves ’tis meet we thus expose.
In order that the Swells,
Who answer to the ancient beaux,
May match the modern belles.
Hooped petticoats are worn again;
So now, by all the rules
Of gallantry, ought gentlemen
Once more to dress like fools.
A BLACK TENNYSON.
A Certain Mr. Close, who seems to rejoice in local
additions, as he calls himself at once the “Kirby Stephen
Poet and Poet-Laureate to the King oe Bonny, in
Western Africa,” has extracted £50 a year out of the
Civil Pension Fund. To work out such a sum is indeed
an achievement, and if the art that did it was acquired in
the Castle of the King oe Bonny, it may be said to
be the last and greatest triumph of Bonnycastle’s
Arithmetic.
When Mr. W. Stirling asked a question on this
pension, Bernal Osborne suggested that, as his Bonny
Majesty’s Laureate does not seem to have got any sack
from his Bonny Majesty, he ought certainly to have got
the sack from Lord Palmerston.
Rather a High Note.
The Critic of the Times, speaking of Mr. Sims Reeves
at the Crystal Palace, described him as the best singer
that had been heard in Haydn’s oratorio—in fact, as the
greatest man in Creation !
May 11. 1861.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON
A PAPAL BEADLE.