DOI Heft:
February 9, 1861
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0063
February 9, 5 861.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
55
A CONTENTED MIND.
Venerable Old Pauper. “ Work 'ard, and Save up your Money for a Rainy Day ?
Why, if I hadn't been a Careful, Induslr'ous Young Man I should a been in the
Woricus long before now ! ”
THE AMERICAN MARKET.
(The Last Yarn of the Atlantic Telegraph.)
Cowhides were a little heavy, but in good steady demand.
Holders very firm. The exchange by no means so striking
as it has been known to be, and receivers to a large extent
were complaining. Backers very scarce, and extremely
cautious. Down South, however, cowhides were falling in
all directions.
Bowie-knives were not to be had for love or money.
The last one was swopped to a Negro-merchant, from
South Carolina, for a meerschaum pipe, a corkscrew, a
silver quid-case, half a pig, a pair of braces, an ounce of
gold-dust, a box of paper collars, two dozen of Eye-
Opeuers, and fifty-two Pennsylvanian Shin-plasters.
Knuckle-dusters remain on hand very firmly, though
a large order for the Senate at Washington has given them
a somewhat forward tendency that may have the favourable
effect of making them hit the fancy of the American
public a little more kindly than they have hitherto done.
The Rowdies and Negro-owners seem to fight rather shy
of these knuckle-dusters, though it was expected at first
t hat they would inevitably carry everything before them.
Their effect is undoubted, as all unbiassed persons are
unanimous in testifying who have had an opportunity of
feeling the weight of them.
Revolvers go off very briskly. All the reports are
loud in favour of Colt’s. Every one of the Southern
Members has had a handsome brace of revolvers presented
to him by his constituents. On a silver plate there is this
touching inscription:—“ To be discharged on the smallest
suspicion.” The number of barrels vary from the days of
the week up to nearly the days of the month. The object,
as with Guy Faux in the cellars under Parliament, seems
to be to cram in as many barrels as possible. We saw a
beautiful specimen in Wall Street, the other day, that con-
tained not less than twenty-four separate chambers. It
was a perfect gem in the tubular way, and the mere look
of the thing gave one quite a strong inclination for a row,
just to try the effect of it. With its potent aid, a child
might easily kill his man a second. It is quite impossible
to say where Civilisation will stop!
“ A Legal Tender.”—A decided contradiction of terms;
for we must say, that within our experience we never yet
knew anything “legal” that ever was “tender.”
AT BREAKFAST.
Q. What is the Schleswig-Holstein question, Papa?
A. Well, my dear boy, I am pleased to see that you have an
inquiring mind, and take notice of what is said in your presence, and I
will endeavour to make you understand. Schleswig-Holstein is in
Denmark,—that is, it is not exactly in Denmark, at least Schleswig
may be called so, but not Holstein,—no, it is Holstein that may be
considered Danish, or, if you like a long word better, Scandinavian.
Let me see, what aid I say,—0 yes, Holstein is the German division
of the territory, and Schleswig is an ancient fief (you know what a
fief is) of the Crown, and was ceded in 1816; that is to say, Holstein was
ceded, not Schleswig, Holstein having been an ancient fief of Germany,
and therefore you see Prussia takes an interest in the question, as part
of the German Confederation; but Lord John Russell is only in
the matter as a mutual friend, and he thinks that the proposals of
1 Prussia—no, 1 mean Denmark, yes, of course Denmark, that concessions
shall be made to Holstein—no, Holstein does not want concessions,
but a veto (that is Latin for, I forbid) upon taxation and other things,
and Schleswig to be allowed to speak German—well, Lord John
thinks this fair, but the Prussian minister does not think that Prussia
—at least Denmark, has any right to impose conditions of this sort,
because there was a promise of a Constitution to Schleswig or Hol-
stein, I forget which, but the principle is the same, and there are some
other points mixed up with it which you might not be able to under-
stand so easily as the simple outline of the case which I have given
you. Pass my cup to your Mamma.
The Wrong Man for the Work.
A Work is announced by Dr. Tick, called, '■'Memory, and How to
Aid it.” The name is a bad one for a lecturer on Mnemonics—lor, so
lar as we have seen, those who have had most to do with Tick are
decidedly the people of shortest memory.
ROMILLY AND THE BIGOTS.
Exeter Hall hath prevailed, it seems, and hath compelled Mr.
Turnbull, of the Record Office (we mean the National Record Office,
not that of the offensive newspaper) to resign. He is driven out
because he is a Catholic, and the Exeter Hall Protestants entertain
some extraordinary conviction that he might do something dreadful
with the records of the realm. What this could be Mr. Punch is still
as much at a loss to comprehend as he was when the agitation against
Mr. Turnbull first excited Mr. Punch's ridicule. But when old
women are once terrified, no argument will persuade them that a stick
is not a gun, or that a gun cannot load and fire itself. The Exeter
Hall old women have gone on howling until it was impossible for Mr.
Turnbull to retain bis place. He goes, but not for a dozen such
victories would Mr. Punch have been one of “ the body of so-called
Christians,” whom Sir John Romilly, Master of the Rolls, indig-
nantly rebukes for this act of “persecution.” To be branded by a
Romilly is not a fate to be desired by any good man, and Mr. Turn-
bull is amply avenged. The sooner the lying pretence of “ brotherly
love ” is taken down from the front of Exeter Hall the better. Dele
Philadelpheion, and lege Full-of-Dull-Folly.
Court Circular.
The Dramatic Authors, whose works have contributed so much to
the success of the Windsor Performances during the last three years,
were entertained by Prince Albert in St. George’s Hall on Thursday,
and treated to “ cold shoulder.”
A THOUGHT FOR TEARS
Innocence is like an umbrella—when once we have lost it, we
must never hope to see it back again!
The New Staple of the Southern States.—Gun Cotton.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
55
A CONTENTED MIND.
Venerable Old Pauper. “ Work 'ard, and Save up your Money for a Rainy Day ?
Why, if I hadn't been a Careful, Induslr'ous Young Man I should a been in the
Woricus long before now ! ”
THE AMERICAN MARKET.
(The Last Yarn of the Atlantic Telegraph.)
Cowhides were a little heavy, but in good steady demand.
Holders very firm. The exchange by no means so striking
as it has been known to be, and receivers to a large extent
were complaining. Backers very scarce, and extremely
cautious. Down South, however, cowhides were falling in
all directions.
Bowie-knives were not to be had for love or money.
The last one was swopped to a Negro-merchant, from
South Carolina, for a meerschaum pipe, a corkscrew, a
silver quid-case, half a pig, a pair of braces, an ounce of
gold-dust, a box of paper collars, two dozen of Eye-
Opeuers, and fifty-two Pennsylvanian Shin-plasters.
Knuckle-dusters remain on hand very firmly, though
a large order for the Senate at Washington has given them
a somewhat forward tendency that may have the favourable
effect of making them hit the fancy of the American
public a little more kindly than they have hitherto done.
The Rowdies and Negro-owners seem to fight rather shy
of these knuckle-dusters, though it was expected at first
t hat they would inevitably carry everything before them.
Their effect is undoubted, as all unbiassed persons are
unanimous in testifying who have had an opportunity of
feeling the weight of them.
Revolvers go off very briskly. All the reports are
loud in favour of Colt’s. Every one of the Southern
Members has had a handsome brace of revolvers presented
to him by his constituents. On a silver plate there is this
touching inscription:—“ To be discharged on the smallest
suspicion.” The number of barrels vary from the days of
the week up to nearly the days of the month. The object,
as with Guy Faux in the cellars under Parliament, seems
to be to cram in as many barrels as possible. We saw a
beautiful specimen in Wall Street, the other day, that con-
tained not less than twenty-four separate chambers. It
was a perfect gem in the tubular way, and the mere look
of the thing gave one quite a strong inclination for a row,
just to try the effect of it. With its potent aid, a child
might easily kill his man a second. It is quite impossible
to say where Civilisation will stop!
“ A Legal Tender.”—A decided contradiction of terms;
for we must say, that within our experience we never yet
knew anything “legal” that ever was “tender.”
AT BREAKFAST.
Q. What is the Schleswig-Holstein question, Papa?
A. Well, my dear boy, I am pleased to see that you have an
inquiring mind, and take notice of what is said in your presence, and I
will endeavour to make you understand. Schleswig-Holstein is in
Denmark,—that is, it is not exactly in Denmark, at least Schleswig
may be called so, but not Holstein,—no, it is Holstein that may be
considered Danish, or, if you like a long word better, Scandinavian.
Let me see, what aid I say,—0 yes, Holstein is the German division
of the territory, and Schleswig is an ancient fief (you know what a
fief is) of the Crown, and was ceded in 1816; that is to say, Holstein was
ceded, not Schleswig, Holstein having been an ancient fief of Germany,
and therefore you see Prussia takes an interest in the question, as part
of the German Confederation; but Lord John Russell is only in
the matter as a mutual friend, and he thinks that the proposals of
1 Prussia—no, 1 mean Denmark, yes, of course Denmark, that concessions
shall be made to Holstein—no, Holstein does not want concessions,
but a veto (that is Latin for, I forbid) upon taxation and other things,
and Schleswig to be allowed to speak German—well, Lord John
thinks this fair, but the Prussian minister does not think that Prussia
—at least Denmark, has any right to impose conditions of this sort,
because there was a promise of a Constitution to Schleswig or Hol-
stein, I forget which, but the principle is the same, and there are some
other points mixed up with it which you might not be able to under-
stand so easily as the simple outline of the case which I have given
you. Pass my cup to your Mamma.
The Wrong Man for the Work.
A Work is announced by Dr. Tick, called, '■'Memory, and How to
Aid it.” The name is a bad one for a lecturer on Mnemonics—lor, so
lar as we have seen, those who have had most to do with Tick are
decidedly the people of shortest memory.
ROMILLY AND THE BIGOTS.
Exeter Hall hath prevailed, it seems, and hath compelled Mr.
Turnbull, of the Record Office (we mean the National Record Office,
not that of the offensive newspaper) to resign. He is driven out
because he is a Catholic, and the Exeter Hall Protestants entertain
some extraordinary conviction that he might do something dreadful
with the records of the realm. What this could be Mr. Punch is still
as much at a loss to comprehend as he was when the agitation against
Mr. Turnbull first excited Mr. Punch's ridicule. But when old
women are once terrified, no argument will persuade them that a stick
is not a gun, or that a gun cannot load and fire itself. The Exeter
Hall old women have gone on howling until it was impossible for Mr.
Turnbull to retain bis place. He goes, but not for a dozen such
victories would Mr. Punch have been one of “ the body of so-called
Christians,” whom Sir John Romilly, Master of the Rolls, indig-
nantly rebukes for this act of “persecution.” To be branded by a
Romilly is not a fate to be desired by any good man, and Mr. Turn-
bull is amply avenged. The sooner the lying pretence of “ brotherly
love ” is taken down from the front of Exeter Hall the better. Dele
Philadelpheion, and lege Full-of-Dull-Folly.
Court Circular.
The Dramatic Authors, whose works have contributed so much to
the success of the Windsor Performances during the last three years,
were entertained by Prince Albert in St. George’s Hall on Thursday,
and treated to “ cold shoulder.”
A THOUGHT FOR TEARS
Innocence is like an umbrella—when once we have lost it, we
must never hope to see it back again!
The New Staple of the Southern States.—Gun Cotton.