DOI issue:
February 2, 1861
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0052
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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[February 2, 1S61.
Party with the Skates (who knows he has paid the right fare to a penny). “ Why, vvhat
do you make out your fare is, then ? ”
Cabby. “ What do 1 maJcc out my fare is ? Well, 1 shouldn't al wolunteered the observoation
without you'd a arst me, hut if you want to know my opinion,! should say he was a mean
’ Umhug—there !"
GENTLEMEN WHO HAVE AN INTEREST IN KEEPING THEIR HEADS COOL.
The gentlemen who have the entree of the Stock Exchange have at last got permission
from the Gresham Committee to have a glass covering erected over the inner court. This
precaution exactly confirms the opinion we have always entertained of Stock-brokers: viz,
that with all their habits of speculation, they have always sufficient sense to provide against
a rainy day. In this instance, their object covertly is to shelter themselves against too
sudden a fall. Some of the ducks are so lame, apparently, that they are actually afraid of
the water! Besides, the rain might tell tales ; it might unfortunately, by falling on a pair of
very hardened shoulders, let drop the secret as to who was solvent, and who was not. For
eurseives, we never knew till now that a City man was so easily melted. However, considering
the handsome way in which these speculative gentlemen recently subscribed towards the
poor, we should be the last to begrudge them a covering over their heads in their old age.
Stock-jobbers and brokers, you may take your cucumber-frame, only frame your transactions
accordingly ; for mind, if you go in for a fall, it may inadvertently lead to a rise. You must
sJi and each of you keep as cool as a cucumber.
EDWIN JAMES’S CLERK
“ Mr. James said that Lord John Russell's Reform
Bill had cost £5000. He had got a clerk who could draw
a better in Twenty Minutes.”—Report of Speech at Mary-
lebone.
0 England dear, when peril’s near
Thy Constitution’s sacred ark,
There’s one who knows her course to steer,
And that is Edwin James’s Clerk.
In other days what Edwin says
Is scarcely worth so much remark.
But now we ’ll raise the song of praise
To James, and eke to James’s Clerk.
0 Little John, come, down upon
Thy little knees, and Russell, hark !
A better Bill than thine, Lord John,
Shall come from Edwin James’s Clerk.
Ho! beat the drums, the patriot comes
Like Joseph Hume or Joan op Arc,
To save John Bull no end of sums
Of tin, does Edwin James’s Clerk.
Ho! raise the song and ask how long,
Enshrined in Temple Chambers dark,
Has lurked the sage so wise and strong.
Disguised as Edwin James’s Clerk ?
Why did he shirk so long his work
(Or as our Scottish friends say, wark,)
Nor shone our Chatham, Pitt, nr Burkf,
But stuck as Edwin James’s Clerk ?
Whence came the buck, from Rum, or Muck,
From Guernsey, Alderney, or Sark,
Or what proud island else has luck
To claim great Edwin James’s Clerk P
And can he write what’s fair to sight,
Or can he only make his mark,
And what’s the height, and appetite,
Of Mr. Edwin James’s Clerk ?
And does he keep good hours for sleep,
And rise at morning with the lark ?
Oh ! could we but obtain a peep
At Mr. Edwin James’s Clerk.
Let’s know the way he likes to stray,
The Regent’s or Saint James’s Park,
We thirst to learn the smallest trait
In Mr. Edwin James’s Clerk.
Hath he for pegs two handsome legs,
Or was one bit off by a shark ?
We will, as sure as eggs is eggs,
Know more of Edwin James’s Clerk.
Say, if for pets, small dogs he gets,
Or cats, because they never bark ?
Let’s have some information, let’s,
Concerning Edwin James’s Clerk.
One question more, and then give o’er,
Ere wonder sends us staring stark :
What must the mighty Being be,
Who’s Master to that Awful Clerk ?
Chaos.
A Woman putting your room to rights—just
after you have been arranging everything to
your satisfaction, and elaborately assorting your
papers with such methodical care that you could
put your finger upon each separate one in the
dark—that is what I call Chaos ! Men are not
more awkward in handling women’s babies than
women are in lingering men’s papers. The mis-
chief, and damage, and endless annoyance of
spirit, and thorough disturbance of temper for
the rest of the day, that are engendered by the
latter practice, surpasses all belief.—A Con-
firmed Old Bachelor.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[February 2, 1S61.
Party with the Skates (who knows he has paid the right fare to a penny). “ Why, vvhat
do you make out your fare is, then ? ”
Cabby. “ What do 1 maJcc out my fare is ? Well, 1 shouldn't al wolunteered the observoation
without you'd a arst me, hut if you want to know my opinion,! should say he was a mean
’ Umhug—there !"
GENTLEMEN WHO HAVE AN INTEREST IN KEEPING THEIR HEADS COOL.
The gentlemen who have the entree of the Stock Exchange have at last got permission
from the Gresham Committee to have a glass covering erected over the inner court. This
precaution exactly confirms the opinion we have always entertained of Stock-brokers: viz,
that with all their habits of speculation, they have always sufficient sense to provide against
a rainy day. In this instance, their object covertly is to shelter themselves against too
sudden a fall. Some of the ducks are so lame, apparently, that they are actually afraid of
the water! Besides, the rain might tell tales ; it might unfortunately, by falling on a pair of
very hardened shoulders, let drop the secret as to who was solvent, and who was not. For
eurseives, we never knew till now that a City man was so easily melted. However, considering
the handsome way in which these speculative gentlemen recently subscribed towards the
poor, we should be the last to begrudge them a covering over their heads in their old age.
Stock-jobbers and brokers, you may take your cucumber-frame, only frame your transactions
accordingly ; for mind, if you go in for a fall, it may inadvertently lead to a rise. You must
sJi and each of you keep as cool as a cucumber.
EDWIN JAMES’S CLERK
“ Mr. James said that Lord John Russell's Reform
Bill had cost £5000. He had got a clerk who could draw
a better in Twenty Minutes.”—Report of Speech at Mary-
lebone.
0 England dear, when peril’s near
Thy Constitution’s sacred ark,
There’s one who knows her course to steer,
And that is Edwin James’s Clerk.
In other days what Edwin says
Is scarcely worth so much remark.
But now we ’ll raise the song of praise
To James, and eke to James’s Clerk.
0 Little John, come, down upon
Thy little knees, and Russell, hark !
A better Bill than thine, Lord John,
Shall come from Edwin James’s Clerk.
Ho! beat the drums, the patriot comes
Like Joseph Hume or Joan op Arc,
To save John Bull no end of sums
Of tin, does Edwin James’s Clerk.
Ho! raise the song and ask how long,
Enshrined in Temple Chambers dark,
Has lurked the sage so wise and strong.
Disguised as Edwin James’s Clerk ?
Why did he shirk so long his work
(Or as our Scottish friends say, wark,)
Nor shone our Chatham, Pitt, nr Burkf,
But stuck as Edwin James’s Clerk ?
Whence came the buck, from Rum, or Muck,
From Guernsey, Alderney, or Sark,
Or what proud island else has luck
To claim great Edwin James’s Clerk P
And can he write what’s fair to sight,
Or can he only make his mark,
And what’s the height, and appetite,
Of Mr. Edwin James’s Clerk ?
And does he keep good hours for sleep,
And rise at morning with the lark ?
Oh ! could we but obtain a peep
At Mr. Edwin James’s Clerk.
Let’s know the way he likes to stray,
The Regent’s or Saint James’s Park,
We thirst to learn the smallest trait
In Mr. Edwin James’s Clerk.
Hath he for pegs two handsome legs,
Or was one bit off by a shark ?
We will, as sure as eggs is eggs,
Know more of Edwin James’s Clerk.
Say, if for pets, small dogs he gets,
Or cats, because they never bark ?
Let’s have some information, let’s,
Concerning Edwin James’s Clerk.
One question more, and then give o’er,
Ere wonder sends us staring stark :
What must the mighty Being be,
Who’s Master to that Awful Clerk ?
Chaos.
A Woman putting your room to rights—just
after you have been arranging everything to
your satisfaction, and elaborately assorting your
papers with such methodical care that you could
put your finger upon each separate one in the
dark—that is what I call Chaos ! Men are not
more awkward in handling women’s babies than
women are in lingering men’s papers. The mis-
chief, and damage, and endless annoyance of
spirit, and thorough disturbance of temper for
the rest of the day, that are engendered by the
latter practice, surpasses all belief.—A Con-
firmed Old Bachelor.