DOI Heft:
March 30, 1861
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0144
136
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [March so, lsei.
CAPITAL LARK OF BOBGER AND LITTLE PIPPS AT THE EXPENSE OF MISS MINERVA COCHLELON’S SEMINARY
DIGNITY AND IMPUDENCE.
What wonderful people there are in the world ! Who could have
supposed that in this sharp-sighted age, any person could be flat,
enough to write such an advertisement as this we fmd inserted in the
Times of the 9th ult.
IWANTED, the SUM of £300, on security of the lender having £500
out of a share in a certain will, about which reasonable satisfaction can be given.
The testator, whose chief property consists in a large life policy, but now upheld by
small payments, would not object. The bequest is not payable till after the death
of two persons, one of whom is about 62, and is now and has 1 ng been vtry dan-
gerously ill, and the other about 60, and far from strong. The advertiser also
wishes for permission to pay it off at any time by paying also 5 per cent, compound
interest. All legal expenses to be paid by the lender The sum lent must not be
liable to be called in at any time whatever. The money is required for the further-
ance of a literary work of such a character as will, it is believed, cause a far
mightier and happier era in human history than has ever yet been seen. Address
Merry Andrew, Grimaldi Terrace, Green Street.
We have had a rather blowing time of it of late, but that is no reason
why people should give themselves such airs as the writer of this
notice. The impudence of his proposal is only equalled by its dignity,
and we really hardly know which of the two we should most laugh at.
The notion of his fancying that any one would lend him three hundred
pounds, on “ security ” (?) of pocketing a possible five hundred,
bequeathed under the will of a stall living testator, who may of course
to morrow cancel the bequest, is an idea which would in summer be
delicious for its coolness; and when we further fiud the lender is to
pay all law expenses, and is not to have the power to call in the sum
lent, we can’t help thinking that the writer for the moment, quite forgot
himself, and, when penning his advertisement, somehow had it, in his
head that he was writing a broad farce. How well Mr. Charles
Mathews would go through such a scene as might he worked out of
the call of some one caught by the advertisement! With what delicious
self-possessiou would he clear up any doubt respecting his “testator,”
and show that although living he was just as good as dead, and that as
for altering or cancelling his will, such a notion was—ha! ha!—a joke
quite irresistible.. What a funny dog you are, he might proceed to say,
giving an appreciative poke in the short, ribs. But you ’re quite right
to be cautious—there are lots of rogues about, and one everywlieie
sees stuck up “ Take care of your pockets.” Still, the notion of mp
gulling such a clever chap as you, is—ha! ha !—vou ’ll excuse me, a little
too ridiculous. Why here you see yourself what good security I offer.
Five hundred sterling pounds, lawful English money, and as good as-
down, for you see it’s to be paid on the deaths of these two persons
who are as good as dead—one “dangerously ill,” and the other “far
from strong.” True, I haven’t told you the age of the testator, or if'
his health is shattered ; and you business men may think this a point
quite as important. But waiving this for just one moment, consider,, I
my dear Sir, the stupendously magnificent results that are in prospect.
By lending me the paltry sum that I require, you will become one of
the greatest benefactors of your species. You will further the
advancement of a literary work that will make the whole world
mightier and happier than it has been. My dear Sir, think of that!
and at once out with your cheque-book ! When such gigantic good may
be secured to all the Universe, don’t be stopped by such a trifle as a
doubt of the security. Hand me over the three hundred, and imagine
yourself reverenced down to all posterity as the man who introduced
this mighty happy era. Mind, I’m not to be held liable to pay tho
money back, but you see you’ll have a chance of the Five hundred
secured to you, and of course you may rely upou my wish that you
may get it!
Postal Arrangements.
Letters posted at Hammersmith after half-past nine at night, or at
the earliest hour next morning, arrive in Fleet Street on that day at
about 2 p-m.
Letters posted in the same suburb on the middle of Sunday arrive at
Southampton on Tuesday morning.
The expedition with which the mails are despatched from the subur-
ban post-offices is wonderful, and deserves the notice of the authorities*
of St. Martin’s-le-Grand.
THE SCARCITT ACCOUNTED EOR.
We are told by nurses, and otter moral-mongers, that the Truth must
not be told at all times. This may be one of the reasons why the Truth?
is so rarely told at all.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [March so, lsei.
CAPITAL LARK OF BOBGER AND LITTLE PIPPS AT THE EXPENSE OF MISS MINERVA COCHLELON’S SEMINARY
DIGNITY AND IMPUDENCE.
What wonderful people there are in the world ! Who could have
supposed that in this sharp-sighted age, any person could be flat,
enough to write such an advertisement as this we fmd inserted in the
Times of the 9th ult.
IWANTED, the SUM of £300, on security of the lender having £500
out of a share in a certain will, about which reasonable satisfaction can be given.
The testator, whose chief property consists in a large life policy, but now upheld by
small payments, would not object. The bequest is not payable till after the death
of two persons, one of whom is about 62, and is now and has 1 ng been vtry dan-
gerously ill, and the other about 60, and far from strong. The advertiser also
wishes for permission to pay it off at any time by paying also 5 per cent, compound
interest. All legal expenses to be paid by the lender The sum lent must not be
liable to be called in at any time whatever. The money is required for the further-
ance of a literary work of such a character as will, it is believed, cause a far
mightier and happier era in human history than has ever yet been seen. Address
Merry Andrew, Grimaldi Terrace, Green Street.
We have had a rather blowing time of it of late, but that is no reason
why people should give themselves such airs as the writer of this
notice. The impudence of his proposal is only equalled by its dignity,
and we really hardly know which of the two we should most laugh at.
The notion of his fancying that any one would lend him three hundred
pounds, on “ security ” (?) of pocketing a possible five hundred,
bequeathed under the will of a stall living testator, who may of course
to morrow cancel the bequest, is an idea which would in summer be
delicious for its coolness; and when we further fiud the lender is to
pay all law expenses, and is not to have the power to call in the sum
lent, we can’t help thinking that the writer for the moment, quite forgot
himself, and, when penning his advertisement, somehow had it, in his
head that he was writing a broad farce. How well Mr. Charles
Mathews would go through such a scene as might he worked out of
the call of some one caught by the advertisement! With what delicious
self-possessiou would he clear up any doubt respecting his “testator,”
and show that although living he was just as good as dead, and that as
for altering or cancelling his will, such a notion was—ha! ha!—a joke
quite irresistible.. What a funny dog you are, he might proceed to say,
giving an appreciative poke in the short, ribs. But you ’re quite right
to be cautious—there are lots of rogues about, and one everywlieie
sees stuck up “ Take care of your pockets.” Still, the notion of mp
gulling such a clever chap as you, is—ha! ha !—vou ’ll excuse me, a little
too ridiculous. Why here you see yourself what good security I offer.
Five hundred sterling pounds, lawful English money, and as good as-
down, for you see it’s to be paid on the deaths of these two persons
who are as good as dead—one “dangerously ill,” and the other “far
from strong.” True, I haven’t told you the age of the testator, or if'
his health is shattered ; and you business men may think this a point
quite as important. But waiving this for just one moment, consider,, I
my dear Sir, the stupendously magnificent results that are in prospect.
By lending me the paltry sum that I require, you will become one of
the greatest benefactors of your species. You will further the
advancement of a literary work that will make the whole world
mightier and happier than it has been. My dear Sir, think of that!
and at once out with your cheque-book ! When such gigantic good may
be secured to all the Universe, don’t be stopped by such a trifle as a
doubt of the security. Hand me over the three hundred, and imagine
yourself reverenced down to all posterity as the man who introduced
this mighty happy era. Mind, I’m not to be held liable to pay tho
money back, but you see you’ll have a chance of the Five hundred
secured to you, and of course you may rely upou my wish that you
may get it!
Postal Arrangements.
Letters posted at Hammersmith after half-past nine at night, or at
the earliest hour next morning, arrive in Fleet Street on that day at
about 2 p-m.
Letters posted in the same suburb on the middle of Sunday arrive at
Southampton on Tuesday morning.
The expedition with which the mails are despatched from the subur-
ban post-offices is wonderful, and deserves the notice of the authorities*
of St. Martin’s-le-Grand.
THE SCARCITT ACCOUNTED EOR.
We are told by nurses, and otter moral-mongers, that the Truth must
not be told at all times. This may be one of the reasons why the Truth?
is so rarely told at all.