DOI issue:
April 6, 1861
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0146
13S
[April 6, 1S61.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE SLIPSLOP OF THE SHOPS.
“ CkrfMniheztscn Cottage, Tuesday.
H, 1 am so
much obliged
to you. my
dear Punch,
for putting in
my letter a-
bout the Clas-
sics of the
Counter. I
felt so proud
when I saw it
actually in
print, and
Charles posi-
tively read it
through, not
knowing it
was mine, un-
til he came to
where I spoke
of suing out
in our new dio-
ropha to buy
him some rypophagon, and to
inquire what was the price of
the anheidrolepseterion, which
we had recently seen advertised
somewhere in the newspapers,
where we spied the emmenathoon
hair-dye for Mamma. _ The man
who served us at this shop—I
beg his pardon, this establish-
s adly wanted Charles to
try a bottle of his famous cele-
brated hydro Hyperion curling
fluid, and when Charles refused
and endeavoured to escape, he
was pressed to purchase some-
thing called a podapalagon,
which I believe has been de-
scribed as a ‘ warranted eradi-
cator of cutaneous callosities ; ’
that is, in simpler language, a
thing to take out corns.
But besides the classicalities
now current at the counter,
there are other forms of slang
in which our tradesmen take de-
light, for to speak in plain pure
English seems quite foreign to
their taste. French is pressed
into their service quite as much
as Greek and Latin, and by ill-educated tongues which talk of
‘ hany oilier harticle’ you can fancy how la lav.gue Fran^aise is
mispronounced. I hardly ever now take up a newspaper without
seeing an advertisement of some ‘ recherche stock of goods ’ which
are to be disposed of forthwith ‘ save reserve.’ A hair-dresser now
styles himself in general an ‘artiste ’ and announces to the universe
his famed 'esprit de violette’ or ‘bouquet de Thames.’ One enter-
prising draper, whose name I lately noticed, has had the courage
to combine his classics with his French, and to advertise for
sale a lot of ‘ broche madapolumswhich must be something rather
curious if they at all be really like their name. Corset and chapteau
have quite supplanted such old Englishwords as ‘stays’ and ‘bonnet.;’
and of course no West End dressmaker would ever dream of naming
petticoats by any other term than jvpes. Why this is so I really can’t
pretend to say; nor can I guess why in a newspaper professedly
intended for British circulation ‘ Le somrnier elastique portatif ’ should
be announced, when ‘Portable spring mattress’ is vastly more intel-
ligible, and by British tongues in general far more easily pronounced.
‘‘Of course I need not say the French is bad French very often, and
like the ‘ broche madapolums ’ a sort of mongrel slipslop which none
but a vulgarian would venture to construct. Instances of this are as
plentiful as polkas in the windows of the music shops, and as absurd
as the new love ballads whereof each hour brings a fresh batch. It
wip suffice that as a sample I call to your attention the ‘ kerceau-nettes
for babies’ which are advertised extensively throughout the London
press. Now that, berceav means a cradle every baby knows, but in the
name of grammar what is meant by ‘nettesf ’ Of course you know
the English of the French word net is ‘clean;’ but how can ' nettes,’
the plural feminine be aflixable to ‘ berceau’ which is singular and
masculine ? And just as if a mother would ever dream of buying a
berceav. for her baby that was otherwise than net!
But oh! this mention of one’s poppet reminds me of a horrible adver-
tisement I’ve seen, which is headed in big type ‘ Pistolgrams op
Babies.’ Good gracious, Mr. Punch ! pray what ever is a pistolgram ?
Is it some new-fangled fire-arm, like an Armstrong breech propeller,
and can it be intended really to go off ? If so, I’m sure infanticide
will be alarmingly increased, and it will be a mercy if but one out of a
dozen of one’s babies is not shot. I know I’ve thought a pop-gun a
sadly dangerous thing, and as for those toy rifles one now sees in every
nursery, I ’m quite sure that it’s not safe for children to be left with
them, for though Charles says they can’t be loaded, they’ve got great
bayonets stuck on to them, such as seem made expressly to poke oue’s
baby’s eyes out. But what destructive implement a ‘pistolgram’ may
be, I confess I really have not courage to inquire; only I feel convinced
that if it be one-half as terrible as its name seems to imply, our infant
population will be dreadfully decreased. I know I’ll take good care
that nobody shall buy my ittle tiddleums a pistolgram, unless I see
quite ciearlv that it can’t do any harm -. and for my part I can’t think
why people can’t use common English when they want to name a
thing, instead of puzzling one with gibberish that no one understands.
‘ Cradle ’ surely is as pretty a word as ‘ berceau-nette,’ and while
English folk speak English why on earth should tradesmen address
them in bad French ?
“ Yours abruptly, Mr. Punch, for ittle tiddleums is crying,
“Arabella Araminta Angelina Smith.”
“ P.S. Charles says he’d like to catch me asking him to get up in
the night to ‘ rock the berceau-nette ’ or get baby its ‘ bouillie,’ which he
supposes will ere long be the substitute for ‘ pap.’ ”
THE SPOILT CHILDREN OF THE ADMIRALTY.
From the way in which affairs are managed in our dockyards, one
would really think “my Lords” were in a state of second childhood,
and were playing at ship-building as a means of killing time. No
sooner is a vessel put in thoroughly good trim, and her crew by careful
training brought to quite a model state, than au order comes to strip
her and turn all hands adrift; as though “ my Lords ” had suddenly
grown tired of their plaything, and wanted to get rid of it. The
wanton way in which new ships are soon neglected, and left to rot as
hulks in the mud of Hamoaze, is quite unparalleled except by the
caprices of spoilt children, who, for no cause, take a violent dislike to
some new toy, and never handle it except to consign it to the dust-
hole.
Now, three-deckers and frigates are a costly sort of plaything, and
we think that Mr. Bull would be thoroughly well justified if he for-
bade their being wasted and misused as they have been. If our old
naval enfantsgates must have some toy to play with, let them yearly
be supplied with an old gunboat or two, which they may be at liberty
to tinker as they please. More than this they really have no right to
expect, and it is high time that their organs of destructiveness should
not have such development as has been hitherto permitted them. If
ail else fails to stop them, a cry of “Here ’s Punch coming! ” will
doubtless do great good; and Punch promises to look into the nursery
ere long, to see if anv amendment has resulted from this threat.
THE POPE’S LAST.
Some years ago a drama was produced at Drury Lane, in which
Mr, Anderson, acting as a Red Indian, made a great sensation by
repeating expressions of violent hatred and contempt for “Civili-
sation ! ” Ttie Pope has just published an Allocution, wherein he
appears to have taken a leaf out of the book of the author of the
drama which Mr. Anderson used to distinguish himself in. His
Holiness, in several places, denounces “ Contemporary Civilisation,”
which, he says, “has given rise to many facts never to be sufficiently
deplored.” The most deplorable of these facts, of course, is the deter-
mination of the Roman States to exchange constitutional government
for Popery. Let his Holiness and the Cardinals put on their war-
paint, dance their war-dance, brandish their tomahawks, and shout
their war-whoop against “ Contemporary Civilisation! ”
A Circular Note.
We are told that Rome is wanted as the future centre of United
Italy. It is true that Couni Cavour admits that to obtain possession
of it, the consent of France must be had. Under these circumstances,
it strikes us possibly that it is not Rome so much as Louis Napoleon
that is first wanted as a-ssenter. Given: the Emperor oe the French
as a centre, and Victor Emmanuel would not be long before describing
the magic circle he wants of Italian liberty.
[April 6, 1S61.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE SLIPSLOP OF THE SHOPS.
“ CkrfMniheztscn Cottage, Tuesday.
H, 1 am so
much obliged
to you. my
dear Punch,
for putting in
my letter a-
bout the Clas-
sics of the
Counter. I
felt so proud
when I saw it
actually in
print, and
Charles posi-
tively read it
through, not
knowing it
was mine, un-
til he came to
where I spoke
of suing out
in our new dio-
ropha to buy
him some rypophagon, and to
inquire what was the price of
the anheidrolepseterion, which
we had recently seen advertised
somewhere in the newspapers,
where we spied the emmenathoon
hair-dye for Mamma. _ The man
who served us at this shop—I
beg his pardon, this establish-
s adly wanted Charles to
try a bottle of his famous cele-
brated hydro Hyperion curling
fluid, and when Charles refused
and endeavoured to escape, he
was pressed to purchase some-
thing called a podapalagon,
which I believe has been de-
scribed as a ‘ warranted eradi-
cator of cutaneous callosities ; ’
that is, in simpler language, a
thing to take out corns.
But besides the classicalities
now current at the counter,
there are other forms of slang
in which our tradesmen take de-
light, for to speak in plain pure
English seems quite foreign to
their taste. French is pressed
into their service quite as much
as Greek and Latin, and by ill-educated tongues which talk of
‘ hany oilier harticle’ you can fancy how la lav.gue Fran^aise is
mispronounced. I hardly ever now take up a newspaper without
seeing an advertisement of some ‘ recherche stock of goods ’ which
are to be disposed of forthwith ‘ save reserve.’ A hair-dresser now
styles himself in general an ‘artiste ’ and announces to the universe
his famed 'esprit de violette’ or ‘bouquet de Thames.’ One enter-
prising draper, whose name I lately noticed, has had the courage
to combine his classics with his French, and to advertise for
sale a lot of ‘ broche madapolumswhich must be something rather
curious if they at all be really like their name. Corset and chapteau
have quite supplanted such old Englishwords as ‘stays’ and ‘bonnet.;’
and of course no West End dressmaker would ever dream of naming
petticoats by any other term than jvpes. Why this is so I really can’t
pretend to say; nor can I guess why in a newspaper professedly
intended for British circulation ‘ Le somrnier elastique portatif ’ should
be announced, when ‘Portable spring mattress’ is vastly more intel-
ligible, and by British tongues in general far more easily pronounced.
‘‘Of course I need not say the French is bad French very often, and
like the ‘ broche madapolums ’ a sort of mongrel slipslop which none
but a vulgarian would venture to construct. Instances of this are as
plentiful as polkas in the windows of the music shops, and as absurd
as the new love ballads whereof each hour brings a fresh batch. It
wip suffice that as a sample I call to your attention the ‘ kerceau-nettes
for babies’ which are advertised extensively throughout the London
press. Now that, berceav means a cradle every baby knows, but in the
name of grammar what is meant by ‘nettesf ’ Of course you know
the English of the French word net is ‘clean;’ but how can ' nettes,’
the plural feminine be aflixable to ‘ berceau’ which is singular and
masculine ? And just as if a mother would ever dream of buying a
berceav. for her baby that was otherwise than net!
But oh! this mention of one’s poppet reminds me of a horrible adver-
tisement I’ve seen, which is headed in big type ‘ Pistolgrams op
Babies.’ Good gracious, Mr. Punch ! pray what ever is a pistolgram ?
Is it some new-fangled fire-arm, like an Armstrong breech propeller,
and can it be intended really to go off ? If so, I’m sure infanticide
will be alarmingly increased, and it will be a mercy if but one out of a
dozen of one’s babies is not shot. I know I’ve thought a pop-gun a
sadly dangerous thing, and as for those toy rifles one now sees in every
nursery, I ’m quite sure that it’s not safe for children to be left with
them, for though Charles says they can’t be loaded, they’ve got great
bayonets stuck on to them, such as seem made expressly to poke oue’s
baby’s eyes out. But what destructive implement a ‘pistolgram’ may
be, I confess I really have not courage to inquire; only I feel convinced
that if it be one-half as terrible as its name seems to imply, our infant
population will be dreadfully decreased. I know I’ll take good care
that nobody shall buy my ittle tiddleums a pistolgram, unless I see
quite ciearlv that it can’t do any harm -. and for my part I can’t think
why people can’t use common English when they want to name a
thing, instead of puzzling one with gibberish that no one understands.
‘ Cradle ’ surely is as pretty a word as ‘ berceau-nette,’ and while
English folk speak English why on earth should tradesmen address
them in bad French ?
“ Yours abruptly, Mr. Punch, for ittle tiddleums is crying,
“Arabella Araminta Angelina Smith.”
“ P.S. Charles says he’d like to catch me asking him to get up in
the night to ‘ rock the berceau-nette ’ or get baby its ‘ bouillie,’ which he
supposes will ere long be the substitute for ‘ pap.’ ”
THE SPOILT CHILDREN OF THE ADMIRALTY.
From the way in which affairs are managed in our dockyards, one
would really think “my Lords” were in a state of second childhood,
and were playing at ship-building as a means of killing time. No
sooner is a vessel put in thoroughly good trim, and her crew by careful
training brought to quite a model state, than au order comes to strip
her and turn all hands adrift; as though “ my Lords ” had suddenly
grown tired of their plaything, and wanted to get rid of it. The
wanton way in which new ships are soon neglected, and left to rot as
hulks in the mud of Hamoaze, is quite unparalleled except by the
caprices of spoilt children, who, for no cause, take a violent dislike to
some new toy, and never handle it except to consign it to the dust-
hole.
Now, three-deckers and frigates are a costly sort of plaything, and
we think that Mr. Bull would be thoroughly well justified if he for-
bade their being wasted and misused as they have been. If our old
naval enfantsgates must have some toy to play with, let them yearly
be supplied with an old gunboat or two, which they may be at liberty
to tinker as they please. More than this they really have no right to
expect, and it is high time that their organs of destructiveness should
not have such development as has been hitherto permitted them. If
ail else fails to stop them, a cry of “Here ’s Punch coming! ” will
doubtless do great good; and Punch promises to look into the nursery
ere long, to see if anv amendment has resulted from this threat.
THE POPE’S LAST.
Some years ago a drama was produced at Drury Lane, in which
Mr, Anderson, acting as a Red Indian, made a great sensation by
repeating expressions of violent hatred and contempt for “Civili-
sation ! ” Ttie Pope has just published an Allocution, wherein he
appears to have taken a leaf out of the book of the author of the
drama which Mr. Anderson used to distinguish himself in. His
Holiness, in several places, denounces “ Contemporary Civilisation,”
which, he says, “has given rise to many facts never to be sufficiently
deplored.” The most deplorable of these facts, of course, is the deter-
mination of the Roman States to exchange constitutional government
for Popery. Let his Holiness and the Cardinals put on their war-
paint, dance their war-dance, brandish their tomahawks, and shout
their war-whoop against “ Contemporary Civilisation! ”
A Circular Note.
We are told that Rome is wanted as the future centre of United
Italy. It is true that Couni Cavour admits that to obtain possession
of it, the consent of France must be had. Under these circumstances,
it strikes us possibly that it is not Rome so much as Louis Napoleon
that is first wanted as a-ssenter. Given: the Emperor oe the French
as a centre, and Victor Emmanuel would not be long before describing
the magic circle he wants of Italian liberty.