Punch: Punch (40.1861)

19S

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. EMay n, 186L

“ FLATTERING.”

Cook. “ Laukadaisy vie, Miss Mary, if it ain't at most like wax-work, 1 dew declare ! ”

MUSICAL MARTYRDOM.

After all, our English language is a wretchedly
defective one.

Of this we came to be convinced a night or two ago,
when sitting quiet in our study after hearing the per-
formance of Beethoven’s grand Mass—we beg your
pardon, Exeter Hall, not to offend your Protestant,
tastes, we should have rather said, grand Service.
While revelling in memory in the soul-inspiring strains
wherewith our ears had just been filled, and recalling
to our mind the glorious grandeur of the Gloria, and
the devotional sublimity of the softer Benedictus, a
barrel-orgau struck up at the corner of the street, and
a German band began to bray close by our doorstep.
Surely, we reflected (and we leave Professor Muller
when he lectures next on language to make what use
he pleases of our logical conclusion) surely, we reflected,
that language is imperfect which has but one word
“music” for the music of Beethoven and the music
of the streets.

DR. WATTS TO JONATHAN.

(A Spiritual Communication. Medium, Miss Punch.)

Let Dons delight to shoot and smite
Their fellers, no ways slow,

Let coons and wild cats scratch and fight,
’Cos ’tis their natur’ to;

But, Yankees, guess you shouldn’t let
Sitch ’tarnal dander rise :

Your hands warn’t, made to draw the bead
On one another’s eyes.

A Groan from a Husband.

An unfortunate victim of a husband, who had been
detained on a high stool for something like half a day
inside Swan and Edgar’s, was heard to exclaim—
“By Jove, Natoleon called us ‘a nation of shop-
keepers,’ and the reproach must originally have been
brought down upon us by the love that the English
women have for shopping, and of keeping their husbands
for hours there.” _

A ROUNDABOUT RIDDLE.

For the Geographical Society.

Q. Why may the sisters of Pendenms's father be said
to resemble a town in Cornwall?

A. Because, you see, they ’re Pen's aunts.

THE MAY-DAY MUSIC-SHOW,

Like many another kindly hearted father of a family, Mr. Punch is
always glad of an excuse to take his wife and daughters to the Crystal
l’alace. _ And what better excuse could possibly present itself than
that which on May-Day was very seasonably afforded him? There is
a freshness and a vigour in the airs of the Creation which seems exactly
suited to the incoming of Spring. The flow of Haydn’s tuneful genius
never welled forth more deliciously than in the showers of sparkling
melody besprinkled through the work ; while the sunshine that per-
vades it is the sunshine of the spring, that refreshes and invigorates,
and brings neither scorch nor blight.

Mr. Punch may thank his stars that he is not a musical critic, or he
might not have enjoyed last, Wednesday’s performance so much as, he
is free to own, he really did. While his critical friends around him
were keeping their ears stretched for acoustical shortcomings and
architectural defects (without allusion to which, no account of any
concert in the Crystal Palace Transept would be deemed to be com-
plete). Mr. Punch was calmly revelling in the charms of Haydn’s music,
and drinking strains delightful to his ravished sense. A grander or
more careful performance of the work it has never come within his
power to enjoy; and without descending to musical slangography, and
mystifying readers with a lot of high-flown bosh about “melodic pro-
^Pss}9n and “contrapuntal skill,” Mr. Punch will simply say that the
Creation was as well done as is possible at present, and that nowhere
but at Sydenham could thirteen thousand pairs of ears have so at once
enjoyed the hearing of Haydn’s “marvellous work.” If any minds
were disappointed, it was because their bodies were not seated in good
places; and for this such persons had themselves alone to thank. The
v^rystal lalace Concerts are invariably well advertised, and if people
c oose to put off the selection of their seats, they cannot blame
Urn Company if persons more foresigkted get a better place.

As the hearing of good music is a part of education, for it both
refines the mind and elevates the taste, such music-shows as that
which was on May-Day held at Sydenham, should be frequently repeated,
and so turned to good account. One may call such concerts “Music-
Shows,” because the sight of that big orchestra is quite as wondrous
as the hearing, and eyes as well as ears have a pleasure in the treat.
Nowhere else is there a concert-room capable of holding some twenty
thousand hearers, and of delighting them with music performed with
such effect. It is absurd to say the solos are perfectly inaudible, and
that an acre of the audience don’t know what, is being done. Every
note that Titiens sung reached Mr. Punch as surely as the notes
which he each Wednesday receives for what, he prints. From Herr
Formes, tie confesses, he did not hear so much, partly owing to that
singer’s alterations of the text, and singing deeper notes than those
which Haydn wrote. But where else could the chorusses have been
so grandly given, and did not their sublimity gloriously make up for
many a small defect? A “new created world” of musical enjoyment
lias been brought before the public by the Crystal Palace orchestra,
aud whatever its shortcomings, it will certainly be long before we else-
where find its like.

News for Newmarket.

“What is the grand object of these new Post-Office Savings’ Banks,
can you tell me. Sir ? ” inquired one coffee-room politician of another.

“ 1 am sure I don’t know. Sir, unless it is to give sporting men
greater facilities for posting their ponies.”

A WAG IN A TOBACCONIST’S.

“ Oh ! you call these cigars Clay King's, do you ? You should bring
out a pipe as a companion to them, and call it King Clay's.”